So, my mother is still in. Last night at my parents home she starts in with me on how she is going to ask my sig other to the memorial (puke), and that I should not forbid her to go. We went round and round about how the JW's are BS, gave many examples and it always came back to some twisted circular reasoning, that I still do not fully understand. Pisses me off that its not ok for me to "keep my sig other away from meetings" - in a nice way, living our lives, etc., yet JW's will stop at no end to push their doctrine back on you because we all have free will. Whatever... I explained that a split marriage brings problems, especially when religion in involved. I'm not going back, and for the JW's to encourage my sig other to return will only strain things as they were towards the beginning. Right now things are perfect - I know my sig other probably has some underlying desire to perhaps go back, but makes no effort. I don't need the additional bump by the JW's to push her back in. Damn these people!! They never think about others just their selfish view, which got flung back in my face with me being the selfish one that will cause her death when the big J has his day...
Went round and round last night
by sinis 39 Replies latest jw friends
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boyzone
sinis
I'm sorry you're facing this aggravation but have you thought that you've got EVERY RIGHT to tell your parents to butt out of anything that might come between you? For example if some other guy was hitting on your girl, would you allow it? If some high pressure salesman was pushing unwanted items on her, would you just stand back and say nothing? If some shyster was trying to fleece her out of hard-earned cash would you sit by and let it happen? Hell NO!
Just because your sig other is an adult and can make her own decisions doesn't mean you can't protect her from a well-known and personally experienced con.
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sinis
Yea, I asked my wife last night about it, and she didn't say too much. My mother made it sound like I was satan himself for refusing to agree with her decision to ask my wife to the memorial. I did tell her that she would cause undue problems, etc. Funny how they think the end is coming, but I brought up numerous failed predictions, etc. Finally I flat out told her that I don't even have to justify the JW's, lets go back to the foundations of the Bible, Eusebius, Church Fathers, etc. From the inception it was all BS, therefore EVERY religion after that that uses the Bible is BS. That did not go over too well. The arguement, for lack of a better word, centered around me being selfish for letting her die, and not giving her free will to WORSHIP the big J. I almost vomited in my mouth when she said that... You cannot reason with JW's, and last night was a perfect example.
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Snoozy
I get offended when I read about others discussing how to treat a wife..she is a grown up, let her decide.
And why did your mom feel the need to warn you other than to stir the pot?
Think about it..if your wife "Didn't say too much" sounds like she does not have a open line of communicaiton with you..something you may want to work on.
Sounds like you may be a little controlling and she is afraid to open up with you? You may end up pushing her into the religion if you try to push..Also, when talking with a JW it is better to try and stay on one or two subjects rather than going all over the map..that way it is easier to make a point. And be prepared..nothing worse than throwing things out without backing them up like they do!
Hope your wife makes what we feel is the right choice!
Snoozy
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Lozhasleft
Yes I agree that you must let your wife decide...as long as she is well informed. Your parents are probably thinking that they can get you back via your wife maybe? Its a sad situation but they dont realise/accept that they're in a cult and you see it clearly...I hope it works out and your wife stays away..but...her choice...no grown adult should be forbidden not to do anything they choose for themselves....it only leads to rebellion and resentment as this board shows every single day....
Loz x
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sinis
Though I agree in some aspects with what you are saying, I am not controlling. However, I am not going back to the hell hole of a divided marriage. Things are doing very well at the moment, and we do have a great communication line. I'm not sure though why things were said, unless my wife is dumping the reason for us not going back on me - to save some face, which I do not care. My mother can be very pushy at times, and I know my wife gets uncomfortable around her. I was probably the scape goat, which I'm fine with.
Sometimes people have to be made aware of their own stupidity, for lack of a better word. So if your sig other was a former meth addict and you broke them free from it, and did everything in your power to keep them away from the people who peddle that shit, how would you respond if they were approached with an offer to go back down that road? I'm sure someone will say that they have to make their own decision, which I agree in part. However, the level headed person should take the lead and avert disaster.
The JW's are the most vile cult that I have had the displeasure of being associated with. Why would I myself, or assist anyone I love back to the vomit?
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sinis
This is a great article from Randy:
http://www.freeminds.org/sociology/marriage/should-i-divorce-my-jehovah-s-witness-mate.html
I think anyone who says this is a means to control has blinders on, or themselves have not lived through the "divided" household, with all due respect.
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Peaches1978
not for nothing, your mom with all due respect needs to mind her business, your the head of the house and it should be what you say. you need to sit down with your wife and have a serious conversation about how you are feeling towards her going to the memorial or whatever. and i agree with you 100% a divided marriage is not good at all. just my 1 cent...
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lifeisgood
Okay, so I was just glancing at this and this struck me as incredibly odd: "My mother made it sound like I was satan himself for refusing to agree with her decision to ask my wife to the memorial."
According to the Bible and the WTBTS the husband has headship over the wife. Your mother cannot make a decision affecting your wife. Only you can do that.
I don't read the Bible any more so I don't know where the headship scripture is. But I would use that.
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sinis
Yes, Lifeisgood. I know the bible very well and tried to use it to my advantage, which I quoted the headship thing. Unfortunately, the psycho babble was too much and I was being accused of putting her life in jeopardy (like the shit is going to hit the world any moment now), not allowing anyone to WORSHIP Jehovah freely, and being a part of Satans minions... it was odd. My father backed me on every single thing until I think he realized that it was a circular cluster and decided to break off the conversation and go inside. I took my queue and went home...