SINIS- It sounds like your mother has " boundary problems " . Like NOT honoring you and your lady's boundaries. Your mom should just chill and not try reeling back in your girfriend to the Witnesses if you and your lady are happy already. Perhaps a nice chat with your mom about honoring those boundaries might be appropriate towards her lightening up on you & your lady. Just a thought. Good luck
Went round and round last night
by sinis 39 Replies latest jw friends
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lifeisgood
sinis,
You are not a NAZI? Darn, that is why I was sticking up for you bro.
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wannabefree
Sorry for your issues. It seems that JW indoctrination will lie dormant until something happens to awaken the sleeper, as soon as there are a few earthquakes and surges of political unrest, the old JW personality reappears for those who still think it might be the truth.
I feel for you. I have been trying to deprogram my wife, but with all of the news headlines going on and the frequent "the end is real close now" at the Kingdom Hall, it seems to be a losing battle.
Hang in there.
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ProdigalSon
Stupid question sinis, but does your wife know it's an ancient Jesus-rejecting black mass?
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Snoozy
It sounds like your mother has " boundary problems " . Like NOT honoring you and your lady's boundaries. Your mom should just chill and not try reeling back in your girfriend to the Witnesses if you and your lady are happy already. Perhaps a nice chat with your mom about honoring those boundaries might be appropriate towards her lightening up on you & your lady. Just a thought. Good luck. Peace out, Mr. Flipper
And he should speak for his wife why? A husband that has a wife with a brain doesn't need to speak about "her boundaries for her"..
I'm sure the wife has a brain ?
My feeling on this goes way back to when I was a dutiful JW wife and did all that hubby said and he made all tlhe decisions..after leaving the religion I got a brain! I learned I could make and voice my own decisions, even if he/someone else didn't like them. Just curls my toes to hear people talk for their wives..or tell someone their wives or husbands view when they in all reality don't have a clue..if the JW mom wanted to ask the wife to a meeting it was her choice, she shouldn't have to "run it through the hubby first"..she should ask the wife directly and the wife should speak for herself..if she didn't know what to say then it is her problem to grow a backbone and say no or go...but it should still be her choice..
It's called respect!
Hubby was a JW and I would voice my opinion if HE brought something up about his religion but Being a JW was his choice..I respected that boundary..as I expected him to do mine..which he didn't..after all , he was still a JW..
Snoozy
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Broken Promises
Snoozy,
All this talk about "headship" is using references that JWs recognise. Although outside the JWs we see male-female r'ships as being equal, the JWs do not. So the advice given has used a way of thinking that the JWs use and (usually) live by.
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Snoozy
I think some here still cling to that headship thing even tho they try to convince themselves they don't..... Just giving my point of view from their reactions to certain things..maybe encourage them do some self examinations..
Snoozy..
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boyzone
Snoozy
but Being a JW was his choice..I respected that boundary..as I expected him to do mine..which he didn't..after all , he was still a JW..
Isn't that what Flipper just highlighted? The JW's DON'T respect boundaries, thats the problem. Flip suggested a quiet word by sinis to his mom about respecting those boundaries.
she should ask the wife directly and the wife should speak for herself..if she didn't know what to say then it is her problem to grow a backbone and say no or go
Its all very well you saying "grow a backbone" but for many people that doesn't come easy depending on their personality and character. Whilst I agree with you that respect is important, so is support when someone is being intimidated by a forceful JW. Sinis is in the best position to judge if his partner needed support or not.
So lets play out some hypothetical situations.
MIL asks partner to the memorial, partner doesn't want to go but feels intimidated by MIL due to the endtimes conversation and isn't familiar with the doublespeak and false arguments being used. She reluctantly agrees to go to be polite.
Sinis respects her decision.
After the memorial which she doesn't understand, she again reluctantly agrees to a bible study with MIL.
Sinis respects her decision.
MIL pins her down to a definate day for the study, refusing to be put off by excuses. Partner is taken through the "Bible Teach" book with MIL. Still nobody warns her about the double speak and the insider doctrines. She starts to see the "logic" behind the way she's being taught.
Sinis respects her decision.
She progresses well and starts to be suckered into the Witnesses. She spends more time at the meetings, qualifies for FS and decides to be baptised. She insists on Sinis marrying her or she leaves.
Sinis, not wanting to marry, respects her decision to leave.
The relationship breaks up. Sinis is left without the woman he loves and the Witnesses have a new recruit.
A purely hypothetical situation but one that could have been avoided if Partner had some support in dealing with the forceful MIL in the first place.
And if this really was a true scenario, would we now been lambasting sinis for not protecting his partner and his relationship when he had the chance?
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Peaches1978
Peaches said:
not for nothing, your mom with all due respect needs to mind her business, your the head of the house and it should be what you say. you need to sit down with your wife and have a serious conversation about how you are feeling towards her going to the memorial or whatever. and i agree with you 100% a divided marriage is not good at all. just my 1 cent
What century are you guys in?
Snoozy,
Just FYI i'm from this century, the only reason why I only mentioned the Headship rule is because when it comes to JW's and their bull$h!t you have to use there own rules against them. JW's like to pick and choose which rules applys to them when it convenient so why not play their own game while at it.
2nd. I do know first hand what it is to live in a divided house hold with my mother and her husband and all the damn goodies that comes with it, for over 30 years.
