I would feel horrible not to go.
I don't know where I'm going to land and if I had to look back and think I didn't go... well, I would feel awful.
Headispinning . . . this is a very natural response to years of WT inspired "guilt" . . . I recall feeling a similar sense of disquiet after my first missed memorial . . . I feel nothing of the sort anymore.
SixOfNine's observation is a good one to ponder . . .
...Jesus words: "“Take and eat; this is my body” and “Drink from it, all of you" and everyone in the audience except maybe a couple of people with emotional problems formally respond to Jesus with "no, Jesus, I will not take and eat" and "no I will not drink - next person", right?
Especially in light of the words at ROM 10;12 ... "For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for there is the same Lord over all, who is rich toward all those calling upon him."
And also ACTS 4;12 ..."Furthermore there is no salvation in anyone else, for there is not another name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must get saved." No mention here of WT Society or "faithful and discreet slave" required to intervene for us . . . quite the opposite!
And again . . . LUKE 22;19 " . . . keep doing this in remebrance of me."
If the JW memorial had any significance to true christianity then you would have cause for guilt . . . The passing and rejecting of the symbols actually mimics very closely what is practiced at some "black masses" performed by Satanic cults.
If you want to observe the memorial . . . then I suggest attending a church or christian group where partaking occurs . . . take with you the love for the Lord you carry in your heart and I'm sure you will feel just great about it . . . and you won't be 'descended upon'
I know it's not easy . . . but the WT Society through there misconcieved doctrines have seperated us from our true Lord and Master, Jesus. You need to re-unite yourself to him directly . . . Stephen, at the moment of his death, prayed directly to Jesus . . . why be afraid to do the same?
Hope this is of some help
Luvonyall - MS