The first Jehovah's Witness I ever met is now my wife.

wyorobert

Our story like many of yours is way too crazy and long to tell. The short version is that I was crazy about my wife from the minute I met her. She seemed to like me and before we had time to think about anything, she left her husband and religion and moved in with me. To the J.W.'s complete dismay, she wrote a letter and dissassociated herself to avoid a JC the next day.

After a divorce and two failed long term relationships, I knew better than to commit my life to someone I barely knew. I should mention that there was a 20 year age difference and should also say that I grew up in the Mormon religion. I promised her I would fix things with her family, but of course I had no idea what I was up against. Now it is seven years later and we're still crazy about each other. I would love to hear from others like me who woke up in a strange new world, and became instantly impacted by a religion they knew nothing about. A few months after we moved in together, she asked me to go to the District Convention. What I heard there completely blew my mind. That was the first time I really understood what I was up against and what she was up against. Ultimately, the similarities of our upbringing helped a lot.

I would love to hear if there are others like me, who are here because they were/are impacted by the JW world because they married a former JW.

Broken Promises

I'm a born-in, so I can't really offer anything, but I just wanted to say welcome.

Little Imp

I married a born-in JW. I had previously heard and known about JWs but only the nice bits, it was a complete shock when I attended meetings and conventions.

Aussie Oz

my story goes kinda the other way...

i have been married and divorced and had a few long term relationships before i remarried.

the switch is i was the JW, she 17 years younger has not a religious bone in her body (and neither do i now)

but it took an interesting and 4 year long time for her to really be able to understand some of my deeper ingrained ways.

although she never looks here, my awakening to the truth about the 'truth' after 11 years of being an apologist for them (been D/F since 2000) via this forum has made it easier.

oz

Lozhasleft

Hello and welcome !

Loz x

Black Sheep

My story is the opposite.

Welcome to the forum

Chris

wyorobert

Thanks for the welcome and for the input. Sorry for posting this in the wrong place. Our biggest challenge was in the first year. The guilt was killing her.

She was telling her Mom and others she felt suicidal, while in the religion. In an odd way the religion seems to accept suicide as a better option than leaving and dismisses everything by telling people they should just do a better job of being a witness and those feelings will leave. In the early months after I realized she had given up everything to be with me ( her words on the second night ) I asked for a meeting with the Elders to see how she could go back. She listened from the basement and what they told me did not come close to matching the scripture they quoted. I think giving her the option of going back is why she stayed. I wrote a scathing letter to the Elders telling them that they weren't even following their own rules and they had blocked her path back. I will admit that I thought they weren't a good influence on her and I knew the letter would keep them away. It seems to have worked and the fact that she is happy is just killing them. Her Mom only asked about her once and when she did she was told she was very happy. In all of these years not one other word asking about her daughter.

OnTheWayOut

Welcome. You did not post this in "the wrong place." It's fine right where it's at.

JW's don't "encourage" suicide. It's just that any doubts of their teachings cause massive feelings of self-guilt. The only answers they provide to any problemed members all come down to being a better Witness and putting those problems on the backburner. It's no answer at all, it just promotes distraction and teaches the member to stop voicing their doubts.

Mormons and JW's are completely different, but much the same. Try reading two books by Steve Hassan: COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL and RELEASING THE BONDS: EMPOWERING PEOPLE TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES. You can find them at freedomofmind.com or at Amazon or sometimes at your local library. They are mainly to help people still in their cult, but they can help you to see how to help someone else (and yourself) regardless of their status with their religion.

Satanus

Welcome. Meeting w the elders in an attempt to open the door to return was a very good move, psychologically. But, it's a good thing that she didn't, or your marriage would have been a LOT more complicated. The elders would have effectively, become a part of your marriage.

Many people join or leave the wt org based on psychological reasons. Your wife appears to have. Glad you guys are happy.

S

wyorobert

Satanas, I had exactly the same feeling as you expressed. I told my wife that I couldn't have my life dictated by a grocery store clerk. One of my reason's for leaving the Mormon religion is because I felt like my ex-wife was married to the church. I didn't want to travel that road again.

On the way, My wife's father was disfellowshipped, but went back recently. We talked about the suicide thing a lot and his impression was that it would be better for someone to commit suicide than to leave. Not his feelings but his interpretation. I agree completely that the two religions are the same but different. I'm the only one in my entire family, including my children who is no longer a Mormon. Regardless of what my wife and I do, we are impacted by both religions on some level. My wife isn't suicidal in any way, but she felt like she was drowning and couldn't allow herself to blame her religion. It is to her credit I think, that she recognized that she had to do something drastic, to change her life in order to save herself.

Aussie & Little Imp, I would love to hear more of your stories.

The first Jehovah's Witness I ever met is now my wife.

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