Hello everyone

by jean-luc picard 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • jean-luc picard
    jean-luc picard

    Hello everyone. I’m new to your site so I’ll present myself. Its been 15 years since I escaped the borg. I was in a unhappy marriage. Everyone knew my ex was horrible, but encouraged me to “wait on Jehovah”.

    After what seemed a very long time, I got fed up with waiting and took matters into my own hands, and left her. It was quite a shock for our smalltown cong, as I was an elder. The morons didn’t seem to know what to do, and took two months before they removed my “ privileges” ( who ever thought of that term?).

    After a few weeks more of nobody talking to me, I left, saying that I needed some space. I trod carefully though, because of my parents. Funny thing, but I cant remember ever having a visit from the elders. Lucky me!

    A year later and I met my new wife to be, and was subsequently disfellowshipped, even though I moved 1000 miles away to live with her. I add this detail because my ex was then living with a guy, under their noses and was never disfellowshipped. ( But then again she was an elders daughter!)

    For years my parents never spoke to me, like the good obedient borg they were. Then my dad died, and I got the “ you know what to do if you want to see him again” thing.

    My mum then got very I’ll, and since then she keeps in contact with me. I want to keep contact with my mum now, though each time there is always a little dig. So I keep our telephone conversations short, and as I said, I live a long way away now.

    The thing is, each time I phone, she reveals another wopping hypocrisy. She knows that annoys me, so she adds “ they can fool man but they cant fool Jehovah”.

    In short, each time I come off the phone I am really angry. Unfortunately, my wife cannot really understand, and tells me I need to talk to someone. I don’t think she really meant this forum, but you are the ones who will understand me.

    I’ve read lots of your posts and sympathize with you all. Its not easy, especially being estranged from our loved ones. But with the passing years I’ve come to realize that ( without being selfish) you have to think of yourself first. We are NOT going to live forever, so EVERY minute counts, every minute is precious. Live life to the full. Take care all. I'm sure we'll speak again soon.

  • Murray Smith
    Murray Smith

    Welcome aboard jlp . . . very interesting post, but no suprises. I know that"distance" that is always there . . . All I can think somtimes is "how things might have been." You very much belong here . . . look forward to you staying awhile. Welcome.

    Luvonyall - MS

  • ThomasCovenant
    ThomasCovenant

    Welcome

    ''We are NOT going to live forever, so EVERY minute counts, every minute is precious. Live life to the full. Take care all''

  • Mat
    Mat

    Welcome JLP, glad to meet you! Wow, all this time I saw your adventures I didn't know all this was going on in your life!

    Seriously though, you might want to take your wife's advise. She might be right about talking to someone (professional counciling). If you are getting angry every once in a while, she's the one who has to put up with you. Sometimes we can undervalue the seriousness of the trauma we have to go through when we leave the JWs.

  • jean-luc picard
    jean-luc picard

    Just been out for a long walk, and thought about your reply Mat. Maybe you're right. I'll give it some serious thought. Thanks alot.

    jlp.

  • finallyfree!
    finallyfree!

    yep, aint nothin wrong with getting couseling or having a good cleansing talk about whats really bothering us. better to get it out than to keep it bottled up. less of a strain on your better half too :)

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Yeah, I use this as a venting space from too many WT toxins. There are ways to coach a parent to change their behavior. Perhaps a counsellor could help with that, too. They can provide valuable perspective.

    BTW, not all counsellors are cut from the same cloth. If you are not bonding with the first counsellor you see, keep looking.

  • TotallyADD
    TotallyADD

    Welcome jean-luc picard. Anger is what men usually manifest when they have gone through some sort of trauma in the past. If you are a born-in you most definitely have gone through many traumas due to the mind control of the WT. So Mat does make a good point. Professional counciling can go a long way in making your family life alot more peaceful. I am a born-in, served as an elder for over 24 years it wasn't until I got professional counciling that peace came to our household. I understand how that anger comes up in the most unusual ways. Certian things trigger it off. With help you will be able to identify those triggers and learn how to deal with them. For now enjoy your new avenue on this board to vent your problems. Everybody here is willing to listen. Most are understanding and know were you are coming from. Good luck on your journey. On the lighter side I love your Avatar name. Sit back and have a cup of Earl Grey Tea. Hot. And relax. Glad to have you on board. Totally ADD

  • Desilusionnee
    Desilusionnee

    Welcome captain Picard!

  • Mr. Falcon
    Mr. Falcon

    Welcome. Sorry you have to endure such a bad family situation. I dream of a day when the whole disfellowshipping arrangement is abolished. It is a sin against everything Jesus Christ taught (whether you believe in him or not).

    P. S. You were great in Dune.

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