Forgive me, I now have time to answer your first post.
I am all for you (and all of us) seeing a counselor. I did. I figured some things out. I figured out that my JW mother wasn't right. While I loved her dearly, she was dealing with a life of abuse and, naturally, was attracted to the Watch Tower. The subtle abuse that the Watch Tower gave her, was no different then the abuse her family did. I honestly think that she had Borderline Personality Disorder, and my JW father is definately another victim of abuse who is challenged by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. So, like they, I knew I had to be a little screwed up in my head. The psychologist helped me, not get over things, but to deal better with them. The psychologist knew that the Watch Tower was a cult, and had "in" JW patients. Luckily, I didn't see any when I was waiting! It's not that you need extensive psycho therapy, but it's like having the best, non-judgemental friend. It may not take alot of sessions, and you may want to space out the sessions.
It sounds like you grew up in the cult since both your parents are JWs. It sounds like you have other family members who are still in. If you got out 15 years ago, it was before the Internet and readily available information. I applaud you for leaving! Now, you've found a chat room of people who have a very similar background as you. No one can understand an ex-Jw like another. It sounds like you were lied to if you thought apostates were terrible people. We are like everyone else. Some good, some bad, some Left, some Right, some honest, some dishonest, etc.
Your first wife doesn't sound well-liked, and she was another elder's daughter! If others didn't like her...there's a big clue! Love is blind. I guess she was younger then you since you were also an elder? In any case, you were lied to somewhere if you thought "an elder's daughter" would be a perfect wife. I'm sorry. My mother married my father becuase he was a "fine pioneer." Similar mistake. I really think there are only a couple of truly happy JW couples.
Your second wife sounds like a gem. You are not the common, bad denominator since the second marraige is good and strong. I am guessing someone lied to you somewhere along the line if you thought "a worldly girl" would be a terrible wife.
Your family/mom is trying to guilt you back into the Truth. We all get the same thing from our families. They look for times when you are down, to pounce. That's a recruitment tactic all cults use. "Maybe Captain Picard is ready to accept the Truth now that he's grieving." I have learned that the recruiters are scared of their own fate, have faith in Jehovah and the Society as a means to cull their fears, and go on a 'high' if they can recruit another person because it validates their hours of field service and calms their own deepest fears if they can convince another. Humans are not rational people, much less a human who is a Jehovah's Witness.
So, a formal welcome!
Skeeter
