They sure didn't notice when I needed help untill I "sinned" then I was a PRIORITY! The hall I no longer go to has one older elder that is just not qualified to deal with family problems, depression, discouragement but is kind hearted, another younger one that has CFS that is great with problems but is really too sick to help and one "creep elder" the second anyone slips up he is there, in your face as if he is God and will judge the earth! Looking back it seems the ones that cared got run over by the creep elders
Do your elders care at all?
by Mr. Falcon 55 Replies latest jw experiences
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TotallyADD
Being one for almost 25 years before I step down all I can say is when does a elder have real time to be a elder.? Everytime we got a letter from the GB they would be ordering us to do this and do that then at the end of the letter tell us they don't want to burden us anymore that they have to. When thats all they were doing. For most elders they work 40 hrs., have a family with kids, do talks, do parts, do field service, out all hours of the night after a Thursday meeting. Have very little time for themselves let alone their family. So the answer to your question is yes they may care but would rather not brother with it. When we finally move from this area and hookup with the internet up north my wife and I have a story that will knock your socks off on how elders don't really care. Until then they are only human with little training in the matters of being a elder. Most of it is self taught. That is the major problem with this organization. Using untrained people to do major spiritual oversight. Totally ADD
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The Finger
They only seemed to care that they were Elders.
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Mr. Falcon
You all have excellent insights, thank you.
The general consensus that I'm getting would be that the majority of elders just don't live up to the over-the-top praise and commendation that they recieve in the publications for being such wonderful, self-sacarificing and experienced shepherds who would lovingly search out each little lamb in need.
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The Finger
I always think that they don't have to be Elders. So if they are stressed and over burdened they can resign. If not they are responsible for not doing their job.
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Mr. Falcon
The Finger - you are technically 100% right. Sadly (well, sadly depending on your perspective and sympathy towards some of these men) any attempt to get out of the arrangement can bring the threat of investigation and harrassment. I'm not saying this is or isn't a valid reason not step down, but we can't deny that this may be a significant part of the psychology that makes it a difficult decision for an elder who wants to step down.
But you are right, Finger.
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miseryloveselders
The general consensus that I'm getting would be that the majority of elders just don't live up to the over-the-top praise and commendation that they recieve in the publications for being such wonderful, self-sacarificing and experienced shepherds who would lovingly search out each little lamb in need.
Like anything else in this organization. If the particulars of this organization are so great, then why is there the constant need to remind of us in every magazine and book? If it was so great, it would speak for itself right? The thing is we expect way too much from everyone and everything in this organization. We have unrealistic expectations of people, but its not entirely our fault because we're always being reminded that this is God's chosen organization. Or its the elders have been appointed by holy spirit. No other group of people have such love amongst themselves. The organization isn't infallible, but its spirit directed. We eat up all this stuff, and when we're disappointed, we're disappointed bad man. Elders are imperfect men, many with good intentions but still imperfect and trying to accomplish an impossible task. Then there's the ambitous brown-nosers who are concerned only with appearances, and some of them will stab you for whatever petty reason to elevate themselves.
Within all of this it shouldn't be forgotten that these same imperfect man came from the congregation. So people can critique elders all they want but don't forget, congregations are full of people you wouldn't want to spend excessive amounts of time with either. Now put yourself in the average elders shoes. The same people that you avoid, the elder has no choice but to deal with that person. If it wasn't for this religion, i can honestly say I would NEVER in a million years want to spend excessive amounts of time with 95% of the the people in the average congregation.
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Mr. Falcon
Exactly, Misery. I have noticed personally and have talked to elders who would fit the description of "caring" who are frustrated that because they are more "approachable" all the JWs with severly f'd up problems or mental/emotional disorders tend to bombard them with their problems. This is also due to the cold, indifferent treatment from the other elders. These guys, even if well-intentioned, are not qualified or trained to handle the serious problems that a religious pastor/priest/rabbi/elder whatever gets blasted with. I know elders who have to disconnect their phones in the evening, lest they get calls from crazy people ALL NIGHT LONG. Who would want to deal with stuff like that??
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straightshooter
In the cong my wife belongs to, we have received no shepherding call for 11 years. One brother complained that the only reason he received a shepherding call was to check his house out to see if it was clean and tidy so that they could recommend him as a ms. The two elders actually told him that was the actual reason.
When I was an elder, I actually hated doing shepherding calls. It was more like social visits. I was busy with work, family and other cong responsibilities and these calls were taking me away from that. Yes I know that the WTS paints the perfect cong, but in reality it was extremely difficult to balance donating free time to the cong and dealing with family, work, and personal issues. And ms and elders never receive shepherding calls unless there is a serious family problem. And some in the cong received shepherding calls on a regular basis because they were high-maintenance sheep. That also took time away from shepherding the "good" sheep.
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sir82
If the particulars of this organization are so great, then why is there the constant need to remind of us in every magazine and book?
Exactly!
What is the universal reaction when there is so much snow a meeting has to be cancelled?
Is there ever ANYONE who is disappointed?