by Mr. Falcon 55 Replies latest jw experiences
Elders not caring and taking sides in a situation is one of the catalysts for why we left.
My father-in-law is an elder, has been for much of my husband's life, and I think he's one of those who truly cares about the cong. Although, like someone else, because of dealing with the congregational issues, my husband didn't really have a father. They didn't do family study, either.
Most of the ones I know want to care but just don't have the energy. They're too busy caring for Watchtower-imposed duties to care for actual people.
TotallyADD wrote this
You are right on Mr. Falcon. I remember back in the late 90's I went to bed around 10 PM and went to sleep and started to have one of my PTSD dreams at the time. About 30 mins. into this my sons walks in my bedroom to wake me up. I started screaming and kicking thinking I was being attack. It took 5 mins after I wokeup to regain my composure. Why did my son come in to wake me up? A sister called at 10:30 and insisted she needed to talk to me. My son said I was in bed asleep but she had him wake me up because she had something real important to tell me. Guess what was so important. She called to tell me that I did not love her and how dare I be sleeping and not thinking of her. I really at one time wanted to help the friends but like you said after a while you don't want to be around these people. Elders are not trained to handle these kind of things. Totally ADD Try being the wife of an elder who gets such calls. I heard so much that the elders did not care, yad, yad, yad. My husband was always there for the friends but not the other elders. The members of the congregation knew he would be there for them and he was really the only one who would so they used him and he jumped when they called.
Try being the wife and hear sisters tell your husband that right in front of you. I have had sisters call up on the phone and demand my husband come over RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! When I would tell them we had plans and that I needed him to be helping me I was told my husband was an elder first and that he had better come over right now!
That left me his wife alone. I would be so frustrated and my husbands response to me was that 'I should never have married an elder then.' One day I shot back to him "I am so sorry that I did because I thought I had married a husband."
One thing that totally frustrated me so much was that my husband was not trained to deal with the mental problems that were in the hall. The other elders ran from so many of the memebers and would dump them on my husband. Out in service we had ones who heard voices, were totally crazy, they smelled horrible and yet I had to go knocking on strangers doors with them because I was the wife of an elder.
I hated every minute of it.
LITS
Honestly, I do think our elders "care," albeit a misguided sense of "care." I think they're doing the best with what they've got. This is not to say I haven't experienced the egocentric, assaholical shitheads of elders in the past. But as of right now, I think their hearts are in the right place.
I dealt with the shitheads who truly did not care and told me as much.
I would slit my wrists rather than be the wife of an elder.
This is actually a bit upsetting to me, since I did "serve" with these guys, but if I did actually express my true thoughts and feelings to them, I know that at least 5 out of 7 would be brought to tears and truly shaken...
Again, some good guys, but misguided...
