May 15th WT - Wives Should be Obedient, Submissive & Not Disagree

by flipper 70 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper
    flipper

    Once again we received the May 15th " Witness only " WT from our lurking JW friend. Even though I've been out for over 7 years and haven't attended in that long - I never cease to be amazed at the arrogance of this patriarchal man pleasing WT society in it's dismissive attitude towards women . It's horrible. Here are some of the quotes .

    Under the title " Christian Familes - Stay Awake " on pg 9 it describes a Witness woman as compared with a " worldly " woman . It states , "Rather than manifesting the attitude of DISOBEDIENCE and independence that characterizes the world, she is in SUBMISSION to her mate. A wife who is foolish does not hesitate to speak unfavorably of her husband, whereas a wise woman works works to increase the respect that her children and others have for him. Such a wife is careful not to UNDERMINE her husband's HEADSHIP by nagging him or arguing with him. A foolish woman likely squanders her family's hard-earned resources. A supportive wife is not like that. She COOPERATES with her husband in financial matters. " Unbelievable. A lot of stuff said here. Basically translation is : JW wives are slaves of their husbands who have to submit to them and not diobey them. JW wives are NOT allowed to argue with their husbands as it is viewed as disrespecting or undermining her husband's headship ! But what if the husband is WRONG ? You have to support him as a wife - and not argue. Same thing with financial matters - It makes such a big deal about a JW wife squandering family income - What if it's the HUSBAND who is squandering money ? I knew more JW men who blew their money on expensive toys at the expense of their wives and childrens welfare ! Yet- not one word of counsel towards the men here. It's just blindly assumed women are worse with money than men.

    The article continues, " Moreover, she ( the JW wife ) is supportive of her husband when he gives counsel and discipline to their children. How different she is from an uncooperative wife, whose children suffer physically and spiritually ! " O. K. This is really twisted. What if the JW husband is beating the kids and is too dictatorial and abusive towards the children ? It seems to me that a JW wife who would be required to support an abusive JW husband beating or abusing the children would be MORE of a danger than a wife who spoke up to prevent it !! Then if a JW wife let her husband have his way abusing the children - then the children really WOULD suffer " physically and spiritually. "

    The article goes on to say how a JW wife will rejoice and be joyful in supporting her husband as an elder and be happy for him for the alleged " sacrifice " he makes serving the congregation. Then a final point which grates on me is this quote, " Being exemplary in a supportive role may be a challenge for a wife when her husband makes a decision she DISAGREES with . Even then, she manifests a " QUIET and mild spirit " and cooperates with him to make his decision work. " O.K. This is once again a twisted errant thinking. Newsflash to any JW wife - What if you disagree with your husband because he's being a idiot making DANGEROUS and HURTFUL decisions which could put your family and yourself in danger ?? Are you STILL going to support him though he's guiding you and your kids into quicksand financially, emotionally, or physically from abuse ? All I can say is I hope there are JW women standing up to this controlling pile of cowdung information and saying " Enough is enough ! "

    All I can say is I feel very sad for ANY Jehovah's Witness woman these days. They don't even realize just HOW controlled they are. Not ONLY by the WT society- but by their husbands as well. As always I look forward to your takes, comments, and discussion of this. Thanks much ! Hope you are all doing well. Take care

  • Highlander
    Highlander

    It's my understanding that the jw cult membership has a majority of women, yet it appears the leadership makes significant effort to put these same women into a 2nd class position with a lesser value attached to them. In the US culture with our civil rights and freedoms being an important issue, I just don't understand why jw women put up with such demeaning articles.

  • Retrovirus
    Retrovirus

    Hi Flipper!

    A foolish woman likely squanders her family's hard-earned resources. A supportive wife is not like that. She COOPERATES with her husband in financial matters

    This 1950s viewpoint makes me so mad! Talk about painting with a broad brush! No wonder they don't print this rubbish in the door-to-door wt.

    I was by no means an obedient wife, but held a job, as almost all women do. I provided the main income working even through pregnancies while my ex started ventures which failed. After we separated I raised the children with no financial support from him.

    All my women friends earn, most in 2 income families. One who was the main breadwinner recently separated and therefore her family home had to be sold. I'm sure in the poorer countries where the jw are actively recruiting women work from dawn to dusk.

    What about if the husband squanders resources? Happens often enough! Sould the submissive wife COOPERATE right along?

    SHEESH!!! (rant mode off)

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    I was the quintessential JW wife. Mild tempered, supportive of her husband's sacrifice to be an elder despite the sacrifice to myself and the children, submissive to a fault, worked within a very tight budget and wound up canning tomatoes, pickles and jams as well as making a lot of the clothes the girls and I wore to save a few dollars. Even gave him sex on demand.

    Makes me want to

    It wasn't until I started dealing with my childhood abuse that I finally realized I was living again in an abusive household but this time I was the one hiding the abuse and protecting an abuser. He beat the kids and put up with it as much as I could but often pulled him out of the room or got between him and the kids. OK sometimes I wasn't that submissive. Can you imagine my politely pushing him out of a room. I don't know how I did it but he never hit me. I had told him if he ever did that I would be gone. So he found other ways to abuse me.

    It disgusts me that the WTS still teaches this crap. I hope the ex is really listening to what they are teaching. Especially since he called a while back and apologized for how he treated me.

  • jean-luc picard
    jean-luc picard

    Hi Lady Lee.

    I hope you are ok today.

    Newsflash to any JW wife - What if you disagree with your husband because he's being a idiot making DANGEROUS and HURTFUL decisions which could put your family and yourself in danger ??

    She would probably be told to "wait on Jehovah".

  • WhatWasIThinking
    WhatWasIThinking

    This was one of the major issues I had with the doctrine. There are plenty of smart, educated women that are much more capable than the average man. I know, I work with some incredibly sharp female engineers. I know of one married couple where the wife is a degreed engineer at my company and the husband has a high school diploma and spent some time at Bethel. He moved to my area and got a job as an appliance installer. After they got married some suggested she quit her job because she made significantly more than him and it could make him feel like he wasn't head of the house. So the one with the $75k+ a year job with paid vacation, sick leave, and full medical benefits for the family should quit so the one making $10/hr with no benefits feels better about himself?

    They need to do away with the rampant sexism and treating women like they are less beings. It's unacceptable and repulsive in this day and age.

  • watersprout
    watersprout

    I have to admit i wasn't very submissive if at all! When Carrot and i first got married , he did try to ''pull rank'' and i did crush him. He never tried it again.

    I never treated him like some of the ''elders'' wives did in the cong. They belittled, ridiculed, humilated, ran down their hubby's... One elders wife thought it was really funny that her hubby was complaining of chest pains and thought he was having a heart attack. Another elders wife [in the hall] very loudly discussed her the state of her hubby's under pants... She was always sticking her fingers up at him when he told her to do something... Yet Carrot was looked down upon as we treat each other as equals. He doesn't tell me what to do, and vice versa. We are individuals and we respect each other. Yes we drive each other up the wall, but i don't treat him like dog poo and vice versa.

    Most of the elders wives ''usurp'' headship. The elders like to profess they have control but they don't. One elder told his son when they got married to ''break'' his wife as she was like the elders wife. Had to ''break'' her so he could control her??? The whole marriage arrangement is a joke with these people. It's all about control!

    Last year i called out a dub friend on lying to me... She turned on me like a rabid dog and refused to speak to me. I told her that she had upset me and that their is no excuse for lying. Her hubby phoned up Carrot and wanted to meet with him. He told Carrot that i was a jw hater??? And that Carrot needed to control me and put me in my place?? Carrot got angry and told him that he does not tell me what to do i am my own person. Apparentely i wasn't allowed to get upset and Carrot should have disaplined me! Whatever!

    Peace

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    A femal relative of mine who is a JW admitted to me, "I would never marry a JW. It would have to be in the New World or an exceptional one." I just nodded, knowing full well what she meant.

  • nugget
    nugget

    it is so sad that so many talanted and bright women are ignored and demeaned. Marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship and it is perfectly possible to be respectful and supportive without being subservient. These articles give men the carte blanche to do as the please with no responsibility. what message is this passing to young girls in the organisation? I hope this helps some of them to wake up to the reality of this organisation.

  • stuckinlimbo
    stuckinlimbo

    I HATE these people

    I still take out my anger towards this "headship" arrangement that I was taught from birth onwards, on my poor husband who has always treated me equally. Unfortunately being brought up by a controlling father means that I am super careful not to ever be "submissive" to the point of being aggressive don't really know how to fix that yet...

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