How to remain sane while being a hypocrite?

by Kensho 30 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Kensho
    Kensho

    As time goes on I find it a real challenge to keep my sanity while still in "the truth" especially after considering all the rsearch I have been doing about the org. that I have been very active in for almost 4 decades. I have managed to be removed as an elder while staying in good standing (prayers-reading,mic carring etc. I guess those are the proverbial bones) While not serving in that capacity has helped greatly to eleviate conflicts by being in that pressure cooker, often referred to a "privelege." Now I pretty much come and go as I please in regards to FS and meetings although I know there are many eyes on me for this sudden change.

    I know many will say just get out or fade, but that is not an option due to family and very close friends and the fact that I would devastate many that I care about. I always enjoyed FS and feel I accomplished some good in the community never really preaching the party line but focusing on the things Jesus taught and the Kingdom hope of a better future. I really never believed God was going to wipe out everyone who isn't a JW, there are just to many really good people who act just as christian as any JW only with doctrinal differences.

    I guess my question is how do those who post here that are active keep it together? Some posters like Yknot who someone said is pioneering and some who claim to even still be serving as elders and MS (really-how's that working out for ya??) I mean I have seen some very strong, bitter, and just down wright mean comments on here from those who are still active, how do they turn that off when going to meetings, assemblies and FS, what do they preach about in service, do they give out the jw.org site and then wink and give them this forum on the return visit. How do you stay in without being a huge HYPOCRITE you can't preach your own message unless you work D to D by yourself there is just to much message control from the org.

    Sorry for the long post- ok release the hounds!

    Kensho

  • james_woods
    james_woods

    OK - and I recognize that you are not going to like this:

    But - you owe it to yourself (and your own sanity) to get out NOW once you have recognized what you just posted above.

    The other issues will work out once you have established honesty with yourself.

  • scooterspank
    scooterspank

    I've never met a bigger group of hypocrites. It seems to come easily to them, as does being bitter and downright mean. The people you speak of are probably still in it for the same reasons you are, too scared to leave, think they have too much to lose...so, they let it fly here, feel better long enough to make it through a meeting, field service, etc. and then they go back back home and vent again. Repeat..........

    As for staying because of the devestation you would cause others...I, and I assume a lot of others on this site did it and survived.

    You remind me of my father. He was an elder many years ago and then stepped down (wasn't removed) because it was too much. He slowly faded out of the "the truth" and he survived.

    The fact that any active witnesses are on this website is very telling to me. It's just a shame that they can't free themselves from the shackles of fear and get on with their lives. I know my life has turned out infinitely better because I chose to leave "the truth."

  • sabastious
    sabastious
    I have managed to be removed as an elder while staying in good standing

    That's a hell-of-a feat. Now your fade should go smoother.

    -Sab

  • sabastious
    sabastious
    I've never met a bigger group of hypocrites.

    The uninformed are always the biggest hypocrites. They are a fearful people, give them a little slack

    -Sab

  • MrFreeze
    MrFreeze

    Did you ever think that they are frustrated? They have nowhere to vent, to express their rage toward their situation. This may be the only place they have to do that. Have you ever worked a job that you hated? If you bitch and bitch to your boss, you probably won't keep that job for very long. So they bitch and complain to their friends about their job. That's just how it is.

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    I understand your position.....

    Your being pulled b y the Dark Side.....

    You don't want to lose Friends .. Family.. and you feel happy as a JW just don't beleive everything they say...

    It's all up to you my friend ...no one can give you advice what to do...

    You have feelings of confliction.......

    Welcome to the Forum of JWN... where you will find many still in ...and feeling like you...and some who don't!

    This is a place that can help you and sometimes Drive you Crazy!!!

    Time will tell you and also....you will tell yourself

    Best of Wishes for you!

  • Kensho
    Kensho

    I hear what everyone is saying and as much as I was brainwashed in the past to be fearful of the sites it has been a big help the past few months as well as a huge eye opener with some really damning evidence for the org. I understand why the average R & F could not deal with most of what can be found here they would run screaming with their hair on fire. I have never had a problem with looking at both sides of the issues even reading C of C in the late 80's in order to get an insiders take on things. I realized that imperfect men have always been in charge so there was no big suprises for me. One must do their best to know the script. and follow their conscience and conform when it does not matter on the issues the bottom line we are responsable for following and teaching things we have convinced ourselves of,' reasoning we are doing God's will. But lately the changes are just cover your butt reasonings- blood-generations-type of porno someone watched etc etc. and the ever demanding push to report FS time which is totally unscriptual and it is just over the top for me.

    Kensho

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    How do you stay in without being a huge HYPOCRITE you can't preach your own message unless you work D to D by yourself there is just to much message control from the org.

    hyp·o·crite

    [ hip - uh -krit ] Show IPA –noun 1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions believe stated beliefs. 2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

    I don't know of any way it's possible to not be a hypocrite, but IMO hypocrisy is not the issue. [No one knows you are a hypocrite except you, so that in itself isn't terribly harmful.]

    Even if you were able to work the doors alone, going out door to door as a jw is not just being a hypocrite but it is encouraging others to join a high control group that destroys people emotionally, physically, and financially.

    Even if you were a dub and didn't go out preaching, you are still giving your endorsement.

    Vote with your feet.

  • sabastious
    sabastious
    I hear what everyone is saying and as much as I was brainwashed in the past to be fearful of the sites it has been a big help the past few months as well as a huge eye opener with some really damning evidence for the org. I understand why the average R & F could not deal with most of what can be found here they would run screaming with their hair on fire. I have never had a problem with looking at both sides of the issues even reading C of C in the late 80's in order to get an insiders take on things. I realized that imperfect men have always been in charge so there was no big suprises for me. One must do their best to know the script. and follow their conscience and conform when it does not matter on the issues the bottom line we are responsable for following and teaching things we have convinced ourselves of,' reasoning we are doing God's will. But lately the changes are just cover your butt reasonings- blood-generations-type of porno someone watched etc etc. and the ever demanding push to report FS time which is totally unscriptual and it is just over the top for me.

    They ask what type of porno they watch? Doesn't that imply that there is a good type?

    I enjoyed your post Kensho. Personal responsibility is key and should drive everything we say and do.

    -Sab

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