I think your letter is GREAT! You tried very diligently to help her understand by being understanding yourself of her position. And I like the fact that you laid out the facts for her - that it is the organization that is dragging their feet about exercising loving-kindness. That helps to open her eyes even though it may not in fact be the most accurate representation of your position right now, but the truth is she is not ready to deal with your internal changes yet, either. So slow and easy is the best course for the moment is my thought on the matter. The day for exposure to Ray Franz will come - pushing it too soon will kill its chance of acceptance. Take your time - she is in distress because she honestly believes you will be destroyed if Armageddon were to come - makes our hearts sad to see them blinded by this deception but just keep praying on the matter and Jehovah will open the doors to their realization they have been deluded - but He will do it at the best time and you and I are not capable of discerning that one. Patience on that matter will win the war. Just keep exercising love toward her - it has the ability to melt all opposition given time. I am so happy she has softened a bit already.
Another book I thought was just great was Don Cameron's Captives of a Concept. It helps you understand what you are up against in trying to open people's eyes and it is quick and easy to read, very short in comparison to Ray Franz's works. Other treasures for me were Carl Olof Jonnson's Gentile Times Reconsidered - be sure to get the latest edition which I believe is the 4th one. He is another individual who stayed cool, calm, and detached inspite of the witch hunt mentality and slander hurled his way. While I haven't come to personally agree with all of his positions, he offers abundant proof that the 2520 years did not conclude in 1914 which is the basis for so much WTS belief. And then the books by Edmond C. Gruss were also treasures for me - especially Jehovah's Witnesses - Their claims, doctrinal changes and prophetic speculation. What does the record show? Very very well presented - mountains of evidence that your husband might especially like investigating in view of his former position. It results in one realizing we have had anything BUT the truth on ever so many matters and may help him feel much better about his change in circumstances. It is never easy to step down from a position of honor such as he had. I also found Edmond C. Gruss historical survey of the Four Presidents of the Watch Tower Society well done, objective and informative.
It is a thrill to watch your progress as you continue learning and to see how well you are handling the difficult curves you have had to negotiate. May Jehovah and His Son, our Lord Christ Jesus continue blessing your course. Love, Salty