Did I handle this okay? (page 3)

flipper

HEADISPINNING- I concur and agree with LEAVING WT to go out and purchase the book "Combatting Cult Mind Control " & " Releasing the Bonds - Empowering People to Think for Themselves " by Steve Hassan. It will help you to see HOW your mom is duped and HOW you were also at one time. The Releasing book gives great advice how to talk to cult mind controlled relatives. Just my 2 cents

headisspinning

Thanks Mr. Flipper... You were one of the 'ones' I was hoping to draw out.

I have a bit of a plan on how to appeal to my mom... she knows I have had very 'vulnerable and desperate moments'... I plan to keep all of that in mind when I execute my 'rescue plan' ... of course that might take several years... sigh...

Julia

Nobleheart

Good letter!

I know it can be really stressful, especially when you're coming from a close relationship with your parents and suddenly drop into a random email. All because of what an organization prescribes as a law and the supposed way to make God happy.

I really hope things get better with your mom.

aSphereisnotaCircle

"I have forgiven you both and understand things better now. Some make horrible mistakes before the truth and some after but all of it is from trauma. Im not going to start talking to you until you get back but please dont wait. Time is very short now. Get yourselves back where you belong. Please hurry. Need all of you there with us. love Mum"

I like your reply, however, I would have started with saying that you forgive her (if you do) for what she has done.

But thats just me, JWs hate it when your condescending right back at em.

OnTheWayOut

Sphere

flipper

HEADISPINNING- Indeed, your rescue plan may in fact take several years or more. It's been over 7 years since I've had a " normal " relationship with my adult JW daughters. But I keep trying. Don't get discouraged or give up. As long as there is life there is hope. But in the meantime try educating yourself first about mind control - then in time you will be more knowledgeable and prepared to say the right thing with your mom down the road. What's the old expression ? " Rome wasn't conquered in one day " ? Something like that. Be patient. Just don't trigger her JW defenses by arguing doctrine with her- as then she'll put her wall up and you'll be talking to a deaf person as she'll put ear muffs on and not hear a word you say. Speak mostly about non-JW topics with her , family stuff. Appeal to her as an unconditional loving son to his mother, not as a former cult member to her as a current cult member - if you get my drift. Keep on keeping on . Good luck, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Mad Sweeney

Well, I did it. I finished 'Crisis of Conscience'... I am just reeling. If any one book has changed my life, then this one is definitely it. It's incredible really - two weeks ago I was so confused and disturbed and felt like my whole life had been turned on it's end but that book made such a difference for me. I feel so much more at peace and comforted.

I am going to order Ray's next book now. I hope that upon reading it I will find even greater clarity.

Congratulations. It is like waking up from a dream, isn't it?

As for "In Search of Christian Freedom" you might find that it isn't the same sort of compelling cover-to-cover read as Crisis of Conscience. Personally, I just read it topically based on what chapter looked interesting to me at the time. I'm not sure I've even read all the chapters. One thing about Ray is he never lost faith. At this stage in my life journey, faith is a waste of energy. So your mileage may vary depending on where you are personally at in life. It's VERY well-written, though. If he had wanted to build a following and start a competing religion with the WT he could have done so. The fact that he didn't speaks to his great humility.

yourmomma

if there is one post that stands out in this entire thread is leavingwt's. combatting cult mind control is as vital as COC.

Lozhasleft

Headisspinning - So good that you finished CofC - its certainly life changing, I agree. Well done on handling your mother too. Its a difficult situation isnt it? There doesnt seem to be any short cuts or easy ways to help family out of the Org. Ray's 2nd book is very good but quite heavy going to read in one go I found.

Loz x

nugget

Your letter was fine and walked the political line well. As has already been said don't give credibility to the shunning doctrine it may be better to say that if your mum needs you then you are here for her.

After all if you sent letters asking for reinstatement and they are not moving things forward you are suffering from mans judgement and petty vindictiveness not inviting you to the memorial being just one of their stupid actions. You may find it hard to actually sit in a kingdom hall and listen to talks once you are aware of the level of duplicity.

Did I handle this okay?

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