Did You Tend To Question The Organization Or Did You Just WANT To Believe? (page 3)

LV101

i couldn't understand why there were so many meetings per week/assemblies, district conventions, etc. i couldn't stand hearing them spout off about independent thinking and wondered why the hay God gave us brains. questioned their stance on education and realized they didn't want anyone leaving. couldn't understand why they want everyone to stay away from psychologists/psychiatrists to help with their mental suffering. all i could think about when they'd read the scripture (matthew?) about taking Jesus yoke and his load was light --- i couldn't believe how much work it was to be a witness --- far from a light load. i was really confused about the clergy class and pecking order within and saw a completely different picture. couldn't believe we were told to offer the literature and ask for donations and what was that about. heck, i couldn't sell the stuff anyway and had to give it away. knew they were not being generous. couldn't believe about the shunning and marking. UNREAL! i told them straight up i'd live where i want --- go to any church wedding, funeral, i want, shop where i want and drive what i want, so i was obviously marked and they clearly knew i had my own social life. it was extremely ez for me to walk away because i never fit in. it's a big time club and one should really fit in socially, economically, etc. i did meet a couple of decent people but most were just USERS.

reading unshackled's post above --- "we're the Resistors of Constriction," and laughing as i type --- but i really wanted to fit in thinking it was the truth and wanting paradise. HOW STUPID --- like they were the only religion with promises.

tec

I questioned, and there were things that pinged my radar. But I also WANTED to believe it. In the end I was so frustrated with myself for not being able to believe everything I was being told. What was wrong with ME? I would get so frustrated, pacing the floor. Why can't it just be black and white. Why can't you (God) just tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it.

Of course He had. Through Christ. I just wasn't listening.

When I stopped trying to force it onto myself, and just let go and cast my worries onto God... that was when I finally found peace.

Tammy

AGuest

From day one, dear Miniman (peace to you!)... which helped the "nodding" heads nod all the more so when my "end" came ("Umm-hmmm... we knew it was only a matter of time, all them questions and comments that wasn't even in the WT. I coulda told you she was a 'postate years ago, no one asks those kinds of questions").

But... the questions were valid. Every time. And often went unanswered... which only made me ask other questions.

Peace to you!

A slave of Christ,

SA

jamiebowers

I didn't question until my life was in danger, but I always thought that there was a lot of silliness going on in the organization. Even after being df'd, I thought he Wachtower was the closest thing to the truth but contained some fatal errors as far as I was concerned. I was out for 13 years before realizing that I wasn't the only one who experienced those fatal errors regarding child molestation and domestic violence.

flipper

I always tended to question authority and was always an independent thinker. I never would kiss up to authority to benefit myself. I would tend to analyze everything and had a justice streak a mile long. Still do. So eventually all the injustices I observed in the Witnesses totally turned me off and led to my exiting

saltyoldlady

I fought my way into the "truth" as it is so wrongly called taking over ten years to take the step but still wanted to believe in a desperate way. After years of trying to convince myself it really was the truth and everybody else too - TRUTH dawned. Nobody else was buying into it - why was I? Those that were members were like robots and zombies - no real conviction - just going thru the motions. And after years of exhaustive effort to please Jehovah in every way I could construe it dawned on me He loves me in spite of everything and I didn't need to "earn" His love - His love for me was unconditional - it was real. And serving Him wasn't about a myraid of rules and statistics on a time slip. Cheerful joyful service is worth far more than rigid self-sacrificing attitudes. And as my love for Him grew I outgrew the organization - slid right out without any tears or sorrow except for the wish I could have brought others along with me. In comparison to the way I went in I came out like greased lightening but it seems like it took forever for me to get the blinders off and really open my eyes - to escape the delusion of an illusion!

godrulz

I rejoice with those who have found freedom from a manmade organization that is not Christian, but cultic. Some find true freedom in the true Christ and come to know His love and grace. Others seems bitter and throw the baby out with the bathwater. Just because the WT is not God's organization does not mean that there is no God or that there are not God-honoring churches/leaders based on Scripture. Satan will take us whether reprobate or religious. The paramount thing is to know the truth about God and know Him personally through Jesus Christ (otherwise one is now a worldly sinner instead of a religious sinner; we need to be converted sinners, saints). I wonder how many ex-JWs understand the simplicity of the true gospel, the power of God (Rom. 1:16)? The hardest hurdle will likely be to confess that Jesus is Lord God Almighty (YHWH). One does not have to confess or understand the trinity, but one has to trust the true Jesus to be saved (Jn. 3:16; Gal. 1:6-10; Rom. 10:9-10; 2 Cor. 11:4; Jude 3; I Jn. 5:11-13). I imagine there is a reluctance to not get burned again, but the truth is out there. Do not give up.

wobble

From a very young age I questioned the more outlandish teachings, i.e that a prophecy in Daniel could be fulfilled by a tiny insignificant group of Rutherford's Bible Students lurking amongst the trees at Ceder Point Ohio in the 1920's.

I wanted to believe in a God who would put all things right out of love, nothing more.

In the last two decades or so of my membership I became increasingly sceptical of every offering, it annoyed me no end their crowing about being right about 1914, I remember thinking to myself : " I wish they would be proved wrong on that", little did I know they had been !

Looking back now I realise I was in the process of reversing out of the religion, until I finally walked out.

XxAmeliaXx

I believed everything from the first time they knocked on my door.

Well, absolutely everything except shunning. That was the only thing that I couldn't get but this was obviously my problem and I needed to work on it, but for everything else if I didn't understand something I made myself study until I did. If I heard of wrong doing those telling it were either mistaken or the ones doing it were on their way out. We were True Christians and therefore, "nearly perfect". Everyone else was, just not me. But I was working on it.

If I wasn't invited to social gatherings it was because I wasn't a good enough association. Every bad thing was because Jehovah couldn't bless me because I wasn't quite good enough.

If there were any niggly doubts I pushed them aside as if they were thoughts from Satan entering me. When I had a string of bad things happen I was told I must be doing something right or Satan wouldn't be attacking me but one sister actually said she didn't want to be too close to me in case Satan attacked her next.

I was never really aware of anything the GB did just everyone's excitement over them if there was going to be a talk by one of them. Even if it was just a recording. I didn't get excited by CO visits or assemblies either. I was in awe of the lady who studied with me who claimed to be anointed. She had much stricter views over most things, even those of the elders and disapproved of almost everyone. She has since decided she was mistaken and is now not anointed!

One elder Dave Dallas always referred to the WT study as a "letter from Jehovah" but I never knew it came from the GB just via them. I never thought men wrote this, or this is just men's opinion. I believed it came from God and never knew the truth about how it got to us at all, ever, until I left. (Ray Franz C.O.C.) This is probably because I was told by "Daphne the anointed sister", the lady who studied with me that all the anointed were contacted by Holy Spirit and given messages which they all then conveyed to Brooklyn where the magazines came from. When all the anointed on earth wrote the same letter at the same time with the same "new light" this was a clear indication to the GB that the message was from Jehovah. It was then passed on to us via the magazines. I never doubted or questioned this was how we got "new light" not once.

Heartofaboy

Reading through all of your comments is encouraging.

Growing up as JW never allowed me to have an opinion of my own, the Watchtower Org' told me what my opinion should be on all matters...........and God would find some way to punish me if I had the audacity to ignore what he told me through his FDS/GB

I never wanted to be like the head nodders at the meetings ooohing & aaahing over some trivial 'new light' & yet I wanted their certainty, their assured hope of the New World & living forever in paradise.

Why was I troubled by so many questions & they weren't.

Why would god be happy with non thinkers & not be pleased I was using the brain he gave me to think logically.

And yes why did prophecy have to have a second fulfillment.

Why did the trumpet blasts of Revelation get fulfilled at the Cedar Point Ohio convention..........where NONE of the 'New Light' that shone out at that assembly is now believed by today's JW's.

Hoab

Did You Tend To Question The Organization Or Did You Just WANT To Believe?

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