I accepted all the major doctrines, and still do for the most part -- no trinity or hellfire, soul sleep, the earth's destiny, etc., but withheld judgment whenever the WTS embellished the details "filling in the blanks" one these with their own conjectures. One teaching I never bought into through all my years of pioneering and Bethel was their "mass murder" concept of Armageddon -- the notion that the accomplishment of God's will on earth required the pitiless destruction 99.9 pct of the world's population.
Did You Tend To Question The Organization Or Did You Just WANT To Believe?
by minimus 42 Replies latest jw friends
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inbetween
doubts i had before awakening:
"1975 fiasco was a mistake of the brothers not the org", always bugged me to blame poor brothers, who before 75 would have been commended as spirtually strong...
"civil service is wrong" (before 96) never understood the reasoning
"birthdays, toasting is wrong, marriage rings, honeymoon ok" were is the consistency ?
"animals will live in peace" just watching my own pets prooved otherwise, they were created to kill and hunt...
"beards" where in the bible does it indicate anything about wearing beards is wrong ?
"higher education" always bugged me, was very happy, when a more reasonable approach came in early 90`s (unfortunately we are back, even worse than before 90)
later on as an elder, therefore according to the org being also a judge reminded me of Jesus warning, not to judge...could not reconcile this
However, here is my point, despite these doubts, despite even acknowledging the fallibility of the GB, it still was Gods org for me.
Only the tighter grip and adding of rules like the famous KM 09/07, the "Gods love"-book, and other rules and regulations made me look somewhere else for information, and here I am....
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jaguarbass
Being born in, I was always skeptical. The scriptures told us to question and examine every doctrine of men.
I wanted it to be the truth. They painted themselves into a corner with 1975 and then 1976 came along.
Then I was free of the watchtower.
I have been looking for the truth ever since.
I cant find it.
And I cant find anybody else who has found it.
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What Now?
I always had questions, even as a kid (How do we know that we have all of the books of the bible?? Why does Jehovah bother answering everyone's prayers if only Jehovah's Witnesses are his chosen people, don't the blessings he gives us lose their value then?? etc etc etc). I never got satisfying answers. When I was in high school I got into some trouble and spent the next few years thinking that I was going to die at Armageddon, so I deperately tried to prove "the truth" to myself and BELIEVE it with all of my heart but my belief was motivated by fear. When I was in pioneer school, on one of the service days I met a man at the door who was very well versed in the real truth about Jehovah's Witnesses. He encouraged me to read a book by Raymond Franz, Fred Franz's nephew. When I shared this experience with the class, and I mentioned Raymond Franz, I saw one of the other pioneers (an elder) get a stricken look on his face, like "oh no, please don't mention that name!". That there made me wonder, why have I never heard of this man before, what are they trying to hide? But I was too afraid to investigate. I spent the next four years pioneering, but in the back of my mind there was some serious doubt. Eventually I began to have more and more of a problem with the idea of Armageddon, and how supposedly everyone who was not one of Jehovah's Witnesses would be destroyed. Then, someone in the ministry questioned the 607 B.C.E. date. More and more doubts kept piling up in my mind. Eventually, curiosity got the better of me. I figured, if this is the truth, then it should hold up against everything. I typed "Jehovah's Witnesses" on google, and that was the beginning of the end!
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JustHuman14
Since I was a kid I was skeptical. I just couldn't accept the fact that a "loving God" will kill all of my friends at school just because they are not JW's. Then it was the fanatical attitude of the WT that the end was near(mid 70's and 80's)and I would not grow old(now I'm at my early 40's. In the back of my mind something was telling that I need to examine my faith.
And I did....
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willyloman
We always had questions but stifled them because being a dub family worked for us. After some years, it stopped working so we left.
It really wasn't that simple at the time but in retrospect, that's what happened. We often talk about the fact that we just "outgrew" it. Once we were honest with each other about that, it was just a matter of planning our exit strategy.
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TheLoveDoctor
Right now I’m fading and haven't been in service for 5 months 0000 in for 16 years ministerial servant for about 8.5 years pioneered for 3 years around 1994-97 later auxiliary then around 2004 got back on pioneer list for about the same time became Elder for 5.3 years when I began reading books nothing apostate but then began searching apostate literature. I could ignore web sites like six screens and other apostates because u can tell when someone is just looking for attention and out to hurt or revenge. So I researched my research and found the lies in wt literature. What is my excuse for being lied to???????????
My opinion is for most descent human beings that may have life experience but not higher ed can here their message and well its appealing. I saw the shit in the world, and the things that happened in my life and again the message was appealing. The love bombing helped because I’m the type of person that love people and being part of this org put u in touch with plenty of people.
Now when I studied I studied fairly well only the material they gave me so the wt doctrine got imbedded in me early and I trusted them because I only thought they had all the right answers. I hated history so studying the wt history (Nah) I f u say so I believe u because U gave me no reason not to. Prophecy was something i hated and had lots of history that was mad complicated so I didn’t care If u say so i believe you though plenty of times I could not wrap my head around it. I commented on basically easy stuff that one could use in everyday life and was good at being loving to others cause that’s me..
Being an elder u can see things and wonder things a bit more as your info broadens. My wife who is a born in was not the most cooperative woman. I wanted us to be the perfect jw couple but she only did what she wanted. This I think began my slow rejecting, not trying so hard, not caring so much cause it my wife who thought she could tell me how to act and how to have proper edict, at time she pissed me off. As a witness elder I was hardly ever serious unless I had a part or was at the door. I always made my br/si laugh and enjoyed being with them and my wife made me feel like my fun loving personality irritated her. So she stated my demise
Began my study of history of jw and searched the web so many sites.
My conclusion is that they hold a tempting carrot
They use love for the most part well but have I have learned that not only in religion but in personal individuals and groups love still can be used to manipulate and in the religion most don’t try to do bad its control is from the top down. and used well and is beneficial to individual but for the fds/gb the benefit the most.
Disfellowshipping sometimes has its place but not to the extent that it separates families. I didn’t always see it this way I only saw from one side.
From the beginning of wt history till the time of this typing wt continues to hide what they do from most, but most like me really only has tunnel vision. But that is the nature of it all
I must admit my first cong made it difficult to grow spiritually and i move to another where there was plenty of love and most did thing well including the elders. I believe we have an exceptional hall as compared to some.
my reason then for fading is what I’ve learned I can’t take back I know too much and though I do think this religion has many good points to it I come to believe if there really is a god and if Christ is real we should imitate Christ to best of our ability but Christianity should not be organized like it is in large groups.
Anything done to big leaves room for corruption, and things will get out of control.
So my finally thought on me there is plenty of good but plenty of bad and the deception I am not willing to mix the two especially if the true god and Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit is behind this they’re making too many mistakes work to slow. So I try and fade if that don’t work u know the difficulties i can bring but I will only go to hall because I love the individuals not the org.
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godrulz
The WT is not the truth. Flee from it rather than dabble in it. Jesus Christ (YHWH) is Truth as is His Word. Use a credible version (not NWT) and read it apart from WT material/indoctrination.
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minimus
If you tend to be an "independent thinker", you're not long for this religion.
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lovelylil
I questioned the "brothers" all the time. In our hall, there seemed to be a division with about half being the unthinking, leave all decisions up to the society group, who clung to everything written in the Watchtowers, and the other half, thinking the first half were a bunch of nuts. I was in the latter group. We did not worship the society like the others so we were the spiritually "weak" I guess.
You are right Simon, those who question and think do not last long in the borg.