In general, what is the ethically correct response if a minor tells you someone is molesting him/her?

by InterestedOne 84 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

• 

  InterestedOne

  I was thinking about what the elders are trained to do versus what I personally would do if a minor confided in me that someone was molesting him/her. I'm not sure what the ethically correct first response should be. My first thought is to contact some kind of law enforcement that specializes in investigating situations like this with people experienced in getting to the truth of the matter. Does it make sense to contact the police immediately, i.e. analogous to a "Monopoly" game "do not pass Go, do not collect $200, go to -directly- to..." in this case the police? I imagine some would say to speak with the "accused" person first, but I just wonder if that would be futile, exhausting, complicated, etc. if you're not experienced in dealing with that kind of person.

  If I understand the elders' training correctly, they say something like, "if the individual making the accusation wishes to go to the police, it is certainly his/her right to do so." Duh, of course it is that child's "right" to do so, but I'm talking about -you-, Mr. elder, what are -you- going to do about it? And, how does that compare with what someone -ought- to do?

  Do elders ever take it upon themselves to go straight to the police? I recall reading in the Flock book that they are trained to immediately call the WT legal department. Ok, fair enough, but still, do any WT representatives, whether elders or legal dept people, ever contact the police to investigate, or do they always attempt to handle the matter internally? Do they feel there is no need to involve "Caesar's" police? Or, are there times when the WT humbly acknowledges that they better call the police for the protection of the child because the elders, etc. are not really qualified to handle the matter?
• 

  james_woods

  Three simple words -

  CHILD

  PROTECTIVE

  SERVICES
• 

  InterestedOne

  Do the elders or other WT representatives ever take it upon themselves to call Child Protective Services?
• 

  james_woods

  Do the elders or other WT representatives ever take it upon themselves to call Child Protective Services?

  Not if the offender is at least a token JW. If the accused is a "worldly", then MAYBE - but only maybe.
• 

  PSacramento

  Police, always.
• 

  LostGeneration

  Most elders cowardly follow the WT instructions to a T. I believe they are told to do this: (in the USA)

  1. Call bethel (legal) and report. Gotta cover the Org before you help a 10 year old getting sodomized.

  2. Do whatever legal tells you to do. I believe this means reporting to the cops in mandatory "reporting states" or "You are finished with your reponsibility" in non-reporting states. I think that is code for "You don't have to report this to the cops if you really dont' want to"

  3. Start the intimidation and threats against the victim and/or their family to keep things quiet.

  Disgusting.
• 

  DanaBug

  They call headquarters for instructions. That's in the Shephard the Flock book. I assume headquarters would tell them what they're legally required to do and that depends on the state. The state I live in does not require clergy to report. Some parents do skip talking to the elders and go straight to the authorities, but I think it depends on if the molester is a Witness or not.

  Personally, I would call CPS first, DFCS here.
• 

  Lore

  I'm no expert so don't take my advice. But if a child confided in me that she was being molested I would:

  1: Act like I trusted the child and believed that she was being abused. Even if I thought she was making it up.

  2: Tell her that she was right to tell someone. (Although I'd rather she told someone other than ME since I'm not really in any position to do much.)

  3: Let her know that I will do my best to protect her.

  4: DON'T promise you won't tell anyone,

  5: DON'T tell anyone other than the parents (If they are not the abuser) and the proper authorities (That does not include the elders.) - And by 'anyone' I mean 'anyone' cause if you tell your mom or your wife or your 'best friend' you may as well shout it from the rooftops. EVERYONE is gonna know.

  6: Act as if the child is completely correct and telling the truth no matter what. If it turns out the child is lying or crazy, you won't get in trouble for doing the right thing.

  7: Do a quick google search for how to report child abuse. Then do it.

  8: Call my local police department and find out what I'm allowed to do. (Can I offer the child a safe place to stay? I dunno! Should I confront the abuser? I DUNNO!!!)
• 

  LostGeneration

  Oh and I forgot if you are in a mandatory state, you are told you can report it anonymously, like from a pay phone. Because you don't want the elders having to answer all of those pesky detective questions like "Why is this going on in your kingdom hall?"
• 

  the_raisin

  Hi OP, I honestly would contact Child Services, or at the very least, the cops. This actually happened to my family.. the little girl my mom babysat was found to be molested (the little girl's mom claims this, not my mom), and for some really stupid reason, my sibling was thought to be guilty (even though my sibling rarely saw the kid due to school and was always locked in their room up in the second story anyway). There was a huge fallout between families, and the mom, stupid woman that she is, went to the Elders to get some 'justice' for her baby.

  What ended up happening was the Elders questioned everybody involved in this situation, they never once contacted any authorities, they reached the conclusion that just because my sibling had openly said they disliked the little girl, that was not enough evidence (that and the fact that my sibling was around ten, and again, she RARELY was home.

  I don't get the mom at all. There were other two other people she could've accused that WERE around the baby, that being myself and my brother(it was neither of us. My mom was actually worried about something like this happening, so she never left the baby out of her sight or alone with anybody that wasn't herself. And no, wasn't my mom, because as evil as I think she is, all of her kids were molested as babies. She went to therapy and for a long time, researched this subject. Ironic that it happened yet again and one of her own was accused of it.))Turns out, that after this whole fiasco that affected my sibling deepling and to this day has scarred them emotionally (to the point where my siblings HATES children, never wnats to be around them, doesn't even want to pick their niece), the stepfather might've done it. Might've, because the stupid mom didn't want the authorities involved, so there was no way of phsysically proving it was him (though it was suspected all along). My mom updated me on this situation, and the mom left the stepfather. But that family still resents us, probably because it opened a whole can of worms that they wanted to ignore.

  And yes, the stepdad was a JW, baptized, a regular publisher, and was sustaining the mom and her other kid from a failed marriage.

  Again, no authorities were ever contacted, no therapy was provided for the abused child or their family. My sibling did get help, and so did my whole family. This thing that happened could've been avoided if there were better suggestions, instead of the whole 'let's not bring the cops into this because it makes the organization look bad'.

  Assholes.