HELP! How do I FADE without being DF'D??

doubtful

I'm in a tough position. I gave my last talk as an MS a couple of weeks ago, and I haven't been out in field service in well over a month. I "came out" to the closest people in my life...namely my gf and mother...I was also recently asked to step down from being a servant - largely because my heart was no longer in it and I couldn't stomach going from door to door peddling magazines and other literature full of lies and logical fallacies. Yet...I haven't been going to meetings at all for the past two weeks and I even refused to pass the emblems at the memorial as is customary for servants and elders.

I haven't returned anyone's texts or phone calls, including those of the elders..But because of my high profile within the cong...people are acutely aware of my absence...my mother has been telling them that it is due to my health.. (which is partially true and meets the "theocratic warfare" standards of technically not lying because I am sick - I have ulcers from all the stress my awakening has caused me)..

Eventually, the well will run dry on that excuse and she will be forced to tell people that I've simply decided to stop attending meetings and that I've become inactive.

At that point.which is sure to be within 1-2 weeks from now, the elders will wish to meet with me. I'm sure they'll assume I'm just bitter about them removing me from being a servant..but in any case..they're going to insist on meeting with me.

So....WHAT DO I DO?????

Do I just feign depression? Do I tell them the real reason I've gone inactive is because I don't agree with all the teachings and no longer believe in large parts of the bible? Will they disfellowship me for that?

If I refuse to meet with them, can they disfellowship me? Or can they declare me to be "Dissasociated" because I've gone inactive and refuse to meet with them?

I'm very concerned about being disfellowshipped because I don't want to lose contact with my mother. If that happens, she'll sever all ties with me.

How should I proceed??? Your guidance is greatly appreciated!

serenitynow!

Do I just feign depression?

That does work. The elders don't know how to deal with depressed people. If they want to meet with you, tell them you are profoundly depressed, therefore you just don't feel up to seeing anyone. That's what I did. Then I just didn't answer their calls.

metatron

Dude, please just 'shut up' ! Listen to me because I almost made the same mistake!

You are depressed and sick. That's it, period. If asked, resist the urge to tell them the whole truth, understand?

Don't openly criticize the organization (except anonymously, here). You are just chronically ill, nothing more need be said.

metatron

serenitynow!

they're going to insist on meeting with me.

That's funny to me. You're an adult, right? They are not the police. They only have the power that you give to them. They show up to your house uninvited, you don't answer the door. They can't insist on meeting with you. They aren't the boss of you!

Mad Sweeney

Do I just feign depression?

Sounds to me like you don't have to "feign" it. Learning the truth about the Borg IS depressing and it has made you physically ill. Just tell them you are depressed and that you aren't ready to discuss it. When you feel ready you will contact them.

BTW, is your gf a JW? Where does she stand? You're going to need support.

poopsiecakes

Take a deep breath and realize that no matter what you do, you can only control you. Other people do what they do. Do what makes you happy and push them off for as long as you can but realize that even if you're not df'd, witnesses will see you as a bad seed - especially with that new WT coming out in July. Let the WT go and live your life. It'll suck for a while but not forever and not even for a long time. Breathe and release.

On a side note, you said you stepped down as a servant but later said you were removed - just curious.

doubtful

@MadSweeney,

Yes she is..Daughter of a mucky-muck PO who gives talks at district conventions...she basically cut me off completely..

@SerenityNow and Metatron,

The problem is..for another year I will still be living at home under my JW mother's roof. She still tries to "save" me, and if the elders tell her they want to meet with me...she'll arrange for them to come over and invite them into our home..

What do I do then? Run to my room and refuse to speak to them?

Honesty

You are depressed and sick. That's it, period.

If asked, resist the urge to tell them the whole truth, understand?

Pay attention!

He is RIGHT.

You are depressed and sick. That's it, period.

If they just SUSPECT that you do not believe their crazy doctrines they WILL DF you on principle.

Stealth

The depression will buy you some time. If you get the urge to attend a meeting, be sure to show up with a beard. This will irritate them, but there is nothing they can do to you for having a beard. They will label you one with a B.A. (Bad attitude). Then rub it in their face and go out in field service with the beard and ask to work with some of the elders or MS. That gets others in the congregation talking and asking questions like whats really wrong with beards? Jesus had one right? I had many pubs tell me that it really looked good on me and they did not understand why JWs can't have them.

This makes the elders so uncomfortable, but have no basis for it, that they will be glad to see you leave and not come back.

If you make any comments at a WT study, talk about JESUS a lot. Only comment on paragraphs where you can mention Jesus. This weirds them out too for some reason.

Then just stop coming one day, they will be so happy to see you gone.

I did this 10 years ago and no one has ever attempted to contact me since my last visit to the KH and my phone number has never changed.

Good advice from Metatron!!!!!

Honesty

The problem is..for another year I will still be living at home under my JW mother's roof. She still tries to "save" me, and if the elders tell her they want to meet with me...she'll arrange for them to come over and invite them into our home..

What do I do then? Run to my room and refuse to speak to them?

If you have health insurance get an appointment with a mental therapist.

The therapist will introduce you to a disorder.

It is cognitive dissonance.

DO NOT tell ANY JW you have it because the elders will know you have found out the truth about the truth and they will DF you.

Just stay in your room and hide under the bedsheets. If anyone enters the room stay under cover.

They will leave you alone after a couple of visits because they don't know how to deal with depression.

HELP! How do I FADE without being DF'D??

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