Sex at 14? (page 4)

headisspinning

Oh man - you guys are so supportive! Thank you!

My son's father and I had a long talk about the situation and we have agreed to work together.
Although, we disagree on a whole lot, we don't want to lose our son.

We agreed the worst thing to happen is for him to decide he doesn't want to live at home (either my home or his father's).
Too many kids leave the JWs and end up kicked out of the house or run away because they can't take what's going on at home.

My ex is actually being quite reasonable which I am surprised at.
He already said our son doesn't have to go in field service or be on the TMS.
He is still thinking over whether he will force the issue of meetings/FW night.

He is also working out a reasonable curfew with our son and is going to allow some association with his school friends.
He's not sure how much, but he knows that tightening his grip is the worst thing he can do.

:) Julia

looloo

hi there julia ! hope you well , iwas only 14 when i was first pressured into sex by my abusive 17 year old boyfriend , i hated it and didnt bother again till i was 17 with a loving nice boyfriend ( it was much better with him ) your problem of course is that if your son is only 14 , just how young is his girlfriend ? maybe you should have a chat with her and make sure she is capable of understanding what she is doing (i wasnt at that age , i remember saying to my boyfriend "if you had just stayed still instead of moving up and down all the time it wouldnt have hurt me so much !!!!) you could encourage her to talk to her mum about being safe ! my 19 year old son is a med studant and goes round schools teaching kids about contraception and stds etc , i think he only recently lost his virginity but my 23 year old daughter was actually pregnant at 13 by her 43 year old abuser (she lost the baby ) and i never found out till she was 20 ! she would never have dreamed of talking to me about sex at 13 and just hoped she would not get" caught out " think yourself lucky he was able to confide in you , he must love you very much , hope it turns out ok and you can talk him into waiting till its legal xx

Mr. Falcon

Great. even 14 year olds have more game than me. I'm gonna go drink now.

scary21

I agree with Iconoclast ....I was pregnant and married at 16.... If you play. you must PAY, and condoms don't always work.

Nathan Natas

If it wasn't for people having sex at 14, many of us wouldn't have had great-great grandparents.

At 14 he is physically capable of successful procreation. He's probably NOT capable of providing for a new family though - our great-great grandparents had the benefits of larger family circles way back in the day. Of course, he could take his pretty young thing up into one of the hollas near Harlan and settle down...

QuitWastingTIME

Wow, that sucks. Sucks, is I got for ya. I guess now would be a great time to learn from this and discover what kind of advice you could give to another parent BEFORE this happens. I have a 2 year old daughter and I have promised myself not to be as ignorant as my parents or the parents of my mother were who never knew what the hell was going on in our lives, never gave us sex advice or anything. Never had that birds and bees talk so to speak. So, while this is now in the past, I guess just try to help others thwart this behaviour before it happens. I'm not really a religious guy anymore, but I do believe in one thing strongly. The advancement of the human civilization. And I know that teenagers having sex is more like primal, tribal, animalistic behaviour than that of a highly evolved species. Then again, if we're not as highly evolved as I hope we are, it doesn't matter.

snowbird

What YKnot said.

Sex is for those who can handle the aftermaths.

Syl

TheClarinetist

@headisspinning: I'm glad your ex is being at least a little bit reasonable. I hope for the best for all of you!

@Mr. Falcon: ROFLMAO

headisspinning

We are very worried because this object of his affection comes from a rough family - he told me that himself. And I don't believe she has been truthful with him at all about her past experience. Far from innocent - let's just put it that way.

I really like the advice of helping him to fully understand the potential repercussions for his actions. I think an evening alone with his baby brother of 9 months would be an excellent eye opener for my little Don Juan!
He knows this girl has an unstable home life so I wonder how he feels about being a single daddy at age 14?

Thanks guys!

yknot

Just a thought....

Most 14 year old girls aren't out having sex unless their is something missing at home.....

I am not going to judge this girl but I do think he needs to be alert to the reasons why a girl seeks such activity so young......she wants to be loved or is looking for someone else to hurt her (disappoint, let her down)......Kinda sad....huggles vibes to her.

Again a great intro into the seriousness of any sexual relationship..... (cuz we don't wanna encourage him using girls)

If he moves in with you he will have to work harder for an opportunity.

But again please consider a family counselor....

Huggles

Sex at 14?

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