Sex at 14? (page 5)

nugget

You have had good advice. It is scary that so many have sex so young. My daughter is 11 and the thought of her having sex at such an early age is horrifying.

You can get hold of artificial babies that cry and require attention. They demonstrate to teens the reality of having a baby and how tiring it is. It might be interesting to give him a taste of parenthood.

He is taking a risk every time he has sex although he probably does not care one jot about the consequences. I would also be concerned about the girl if it was her first time it wouldn't have been the most wonderful experience in the world. She may be having regrets. Also he needs to fully understand how difficult it can be to get under control if a girl changes her mind and at the last minute says no. There is a great deal of adult baggage that comes with sex and perhaps it may be worth talking to him about how his actions affect the other person in the equation.

I agree that you need to establish why he did it in the first place. If it was to gain some sort of Kudos with his peers I pity the girl. Just curious is she a witness? If she is the mess will grow and grow.

headisspinning

I totally agree Yknot... I believe there is a whole lot missing at home. This girl has more facial piercings than my son can count... don't get me wrong, I think piercings can be cool... but it really makes me question her parents for allowing their daughter to do that at such an early age.
I would guess they are either very permissive or just not around and uninvolved.

I know very little about the family - my son told me she is native which isn't a problem in itself. But what concerns me is that he said she comes from a rough family. There are many rough native families where we live and sadly many of the common issues include extreme alcoholism and child abuse.
I am not judging this girl either - but I am alarmed and I hope that my son isn't getting himself into a real disaster here. Our city is plagued with social issues - many families come straight of reserves and are not equipped for the change in lifestyle.

The suggestion of a family counselor is great. I will speak with my own therapist and see if there's someone he can suggest.

Thank you.

lovelylil

This is a big trend today. I have several nephews that started having sex at 14. And recently my son who is 16 1/2 so a little older, told me he lost his virginity recently to his 18 year old girlfriend! I was dumstruck. I didn't even know he was dating this girl. I thought they were just friends.

These kids are growing up too fast they are over sexualized by the modern music and movies. That is my opinion. But, like someone said what do you do when the horse already left the stables?

Both my hubby and I had talks with him. We worked very hard at not making him feel shame for doing something quite normal as sex. We did talk to him about the risks and the responsiblities that come with being sexually active and YES we supplied him with condoms galore!

I hate to say it but I am thankful shortly after this happened, his girlfriend and he parted ways. I don't think my son was ready for a grown up commitment. Right now he is single and I am glad about that. He is my BABY! My youngest and boy is he growing up too fast.

I am glad though that I am out of the Tower, can you imagine the repercussions that would have followed my boy over this?

I Hope everything works out for everyone dealing with this issue. We can only guide our kids, hope they make the right choices and be there to support and love them no matter what happens. Peace, Lilly

scary21

I think Nugget has a great idea! They mostly give those dolls to young girls . My best friends daughter had one in high school. I wonder if they give them to the boys. I'll ask her. Does this girl tell him she loves him, or does she just think it's a bootie call? Does he even know what she thinks ? I was madly in love with my boyfriend that I met at an assembly . I was 14 , he was 16 . Married 2yrs later. Lasted 10 years. Ask your son if he's ready for THAT! That should scare him straight! Sex=baby If she is like you hint in your post, she may not care if she gets pregnant. She may want to excape her home. ( I could hardly wait to get my own place, and do what I wanted to do. Be a grownup!!!!!!! lol ) She may know how to work the system,get housing, WIC..bridge card ect. Your son might be attractive because he's a NICE boy.

TheClarinetist

These kids are growing up too fast they are over sexualized by the modern music and movies.

Oversexualized by modern music? LoL. Music has been "oversexualized" since at least the Rennaisance [before that, it was arguably about the Fin Amore]. Things are keeping on the way they always have... and we're just as worried about it today as they were before Christ.

EDIT: @headisspinning: I went through a similar phase in my choice of women when I was coming out. Sounds like a natural reaction to the crazy conservatism of the witnesses... A little concerning but it probably won't last anyway.

SixofNine

I am not going to judge this girl but I do think he needs to be alert to the reasons why a girl seeks such activity so young...

er, why do you think HE is seeking "activity so young"?

FlyingHighNow

As the black doctor at the Houston Health Department used to say, "Rubbers and foam. Rubber's no good if they break or slip off and there's no foam. Rubbers and foam." I was a faithful JW and he really tried hard to talk me into taking a brown paper bag of "rubbers and foam."

TheClarinetist

As the black doctor at the Houston Health Department used to say, "Rubbers and foam. Rubber's no good if they break or slip off and there's no foam. Rubbers and foam." I was a faithful JW and he really tried hard to talk me into taking a brown paper bag of "rubbers and foam."

You don't even need the foam any more... Have you ever tried finding a condom WITHOUT spermicidal lubricant?

yknot

er, why do you think HE is seeking "activity so young"?

Since I have never been a 14 yr old boy I feel unable to render even a guess........which is why I suggested I family counselor as both of his parents were taken off guard and there is a lot of JW and settling after divorce drama going on that might create intertwined issues alongside normal physical development pressures.

This said I am not discounting sheer curiousity and determination on his part but even if that is the case a counselor might be able to aid his parents and him in a mutual course of action.

cult classic

It's important for children to be supervised. When is he finding the time to be alone with a girl? Perhaps providing him with another way to spend his time would be helpful. I hope so. Best of luck to you.

Edited : His father should be made aware of this ASAP. Especially since this is occurring in his home.

Sex at 14?

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