Unshackled, good thead, thanks for posting this.
Me personally, I think I can see where you're coming from. There's some days I look at my upbringing as a born-in JW, and I feel a hatred in my heart towards this organization and its leadership that can't be quenched. It eventually leads me to questions about God and Jesus. One of hobbies is True Crime. I've always been fascinated by the underworld, mobs, street gangs, prison gangs, drug dealers, etc.. One thing I learned about prison gangs, is that its not a good thing to claim you belong to a prison gang under false pretenses, or even a street gang thats affilated with a major prison gang. The reason being is that the leadership within the prison gang will do their investigation to verify you are who you claim to be, and if you've been false flagging as they call it, you'll get dealt with. You know I have to say thats more than what God or Jesus will do when it comes to those that claim to speak in their names. When I look at the WT, for them to claim to have been selected in 1918/1919 by Jesus, and then call themselves witnesses of Jehovah which is probably a mistranslation of his name, I have to ask what is God doing? Why allow fraudulent groups and individuals to represent you? Why allow these groups and individuals to hurt so many people? It makes me wonder whether or not God and Christ exist.
Another thing is, as a born-in, you're taught from a young age to hate other religions. You're taught simple arguments to use against other Christian denominations. Considering that most people in this country are indifferent to religious beliefs, or don't want to argue, it makes you believe that what you've been taught is accurate, when the reality is you've never really been challenged before. Even this past week's WT Study article mentioned atheists and agnostics as dishonorable to God. That's just the religous aspect of it when it comes to other Christians with differing beliefs on doctrinal matters. Then you throw into the mix atheists and agnostics who've really sat down and questioned matters that the average Christian/Jew/Muslim has never considered. If you've grown up in a fundementalist household and the religion forced upon you ultimately fails, then whats next? Atheism or Agnosticism, both of which I personally feel are the only categories that define the only really honest people left in this society. I'm still trying desperately to believe, and this past weekend I purchased a Chronological Bible, and I have to say as far as books go, it was one of the best purchases I've ever made. I've been hooked on it, its as if my faith just experienced a rebirth, and I'm excited to see where this takes me. I also purchased Eusebius' Ecclesiastical History. I'm not ready to go atheist just yet, but definately can understand where they're coming from, and definately respect the agnostic's position.
