A few notes on September 15, 2011 Watchtower, fresh off the presses!

by sd-7 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Great thread. These sorts of threads keep me up to date with the latest BorgLit without me having to read through it all myself.

    They got one thing right though: the more zealous a JW, the more of a tool he usually is.

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    Opening scene: Brother and Sister Newlywed with Elder Detail.

    ED: Now I'm here to give you very specific details for your wedding night. Don't get frustrated.

    BN: Don't you think this is going a little far?

    ED: Did you not study the Sept. 15 WT? You are supposed to welcome this instruction!

    BN: Well. . . Okay.

    ED: Okay now, I applaud your humility. Kiss her. ---- NO NO, no tongue! That could lead one into the temptation for oral sex! It's better not to rake hot coals to your bosom!

    BN: About that Elder Detail, I've been examining the scriptures and there is no mention of oral sex.

    ED: You've been examining the scriptures?

    BN: DAILY!

    ED: The ancient Israelites didn't question Moses when he gave detailed instructions!

    SN: Er, . . . they made a golden calf...

    ED: And look at what happened to them! Now Sister Newlywed, unbutton your top button.

    SN: This feels very uncomfortable.

    ED: Are you questioning Jehovah? Are you too proud to follow the detailed instructions of those he chose to delegate authority to?

    SN: Well . . . okay.

    ED: No, no! Not the second button. That's loose conduct! Here, let's try it this way, I've picked out some honeymoon night garments for you.

    SN: Uhm, Elder Detail, this nightgown has more fabric than my wedding dress.

    ED: Yes, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. What will people think of you if you wear immodest wedding dresses?

    SN: Dresses? Plural?

    ED: Yes plural. You're 19-years old! How long do you expect this marriage to last? My bet is that Brother Newlywed will commit adultery and get disfellowshipped. Then you will divorce him and meet a worldly man---A CANAANITE---and soon after get disfellowshipped. You'll come back to the congregation with your new husband and spend every waking moment trying to convert him. In the meantime, Brother Newlywed will be happy with his new christian wife, but everyone will look down on you for having married out of the truth."

    SN: That's depressing.

    ED: Back on task! Brother Newlywed, gently brush her hair out of her eyes . . .

  • RagingBull
    RagingBull

    MINIMUS is so right. They're preparing the followers to be ready for more "detailed" rules that the Governi...I mean Jehovah will be giving them, in this time of the end.

    Maybe one of the new detailed rules will be about WORKING on Meeting nights. A soon-to-be disfellowshipping offense?? naaah, they wouldn't do that would they? LOL

  • jworld
    jworld

    Well I scrolled through it. Same old drivel. However, page 21 upper right picture. I haven't seen so many buff shirtless men in a WT for a long time! Its a painting, but the person who painted the guys sure did pump up their chests and I think i see a belly button on one of the guys. I'd love to know if it was a male artist lol

  • VM44
    VM44

    What The Watchtower is saying more and more is this.

    "No independent thinking"

    "Ask no questions!"

    "Do what you are told to do!"

    "Obey!"

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit

    New Chapter...ya' had to be there for that to be funny.

    Most of us prolly were...I got a rather severe 'discussion' (I didn't say anything...just looked at my feet) before my JW weddin' day. It went a lot like above, but, MUCH worse.

  • VM44
    VM44

    "You will obey The Watchtower! Obey! Obey!

    "Obey, or be Exterminated at Armageddon!"

    "Do Not Question The Watchtower!"

    "Obey!"

    "Obey!!"

    "Obey!!!"

    Who does that sound like?

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    LOL Rabbit. Not all satire is funny, but it usually rings with a lot of truth. In effect, this is exactly what they are doing with all of their bedroom rules. And now they tell the flock to submit to very detailed counsel. Pretty soon they will publish a chart that can be taped up on the bedroom wall with pics of the GB staring down.

    NC

  • Chariklo
    Chariklo

    VM44, you're right. Borg or Dalek, "obey or be exterminated" is what it's all about.

  • the-illuminator81
    the-illuminator81

    sd-7, stop reading that crap!

    If there was an actual righteous God giving me detailed instructions for good reasons, I might listen. Especially if it's stuff like "Hold your staff high so I can drown all the Egyptians before they kill you." Because I'd rather not be killed by angry Egyptians. But God is not the same as a human overseer. And this overseer-dude is giving me detailed instructions on stuff God didn't even bother mentioning in the bible.

    The so-called new light often changes a few years later. So why even bother trying to understand? Just wait a few years and maybe the 'current bible truth' will be the same as your own beliefs.

    What the WTS actually wants is you reading the bible as a treadmill activity, giving up trying to actually understand what it says and just answering everything with the weak excuses and explanations you are taught in the literature.

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