For exJW Singles - Would You Consider Dating/Marrying Another ExJW?

by Broken Promises 39 Replies latest social relationships

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  Broken Promises

  Do you consider being an exJW a hindrance to dating? For example, Do you find it difficult to bring up in conversation, lest you get stared at as if you have 2 heads or something? Or you might find it difficult to explain why you've had little sexual experience in the past?

  Do you have issues that you think only another exJW would understand? Such as perhaps the lack of family members in your life, or why you feel awkward at birthday parties? Someone who would understand why you feel like an alien or outsider?

  Or do you think it would be better to date someone who had never been a JW? Someone who can show you what normal life should be, without all the hangups us exJWs tend to have?

  My experience: I really don't know. I have dated both exJWs and neverbeenJWs in the past, and there's advantages and disadvantages to both. Sometimes I think it's better to be with a never-been, cos at least they might have a normal family life! But then, would they understand why you never pursued an education or a good career?

  At the moment my dating life is zero. While it's good to have a break, it'd be nice to know there's someone who cares. Hopefully someday...

  (this thread has been reposted due to a technical glitch in the original one which prevents replies from being read)
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  Broken Promises

  Please post on this thread, not the original one, because I can't see anything on the first thread, starting from Dune's "comment" (which is blank) onwards.

  Thanks!
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  talesin

  let's do a check .... can u read this? I can read the other thread,,, so just want to check and make sure it's not your puter

  :D
  
  t
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  Broken Promises

  I can read your post, Talesin, thanks!
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  serenitynow!

  Do you consider being an exJW a hindrance to dating?

  Yes because of having a lack of dating experience.

  Do you have issues that you think only another exJW would understand?

  Totally.

  Or do you think it would be better to date someone who had never been a JW? Someone who can show you what normal life should be, without all the hangups us exJWs tend to have?

  I am dating an exJW (met him here!) and we are working through these hangups together. We'll be normal one day!

  One concern about dating an exJW though would be the slim possibility that one may go back to the vomit. That would suck.
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  EmptyInside

  I agree with you Broken Promises,like everything,there are advantages and disadvantages to both.

  As I am a fader,I have very little dating experience. The first,and only,"worldly" man,was quite understanding,but I told him things in phases. He knew I was holding things back from him. He considered me quite the mystery. It was hard for me to tell him I was a Jehovah's Witness. I thought he would hate me. But,he really didn't care one way or another,to him,Witnesses were just folks going around annoying people,trying to sell books,lol. Actually,to see things from his eyes,was kind of the catalyst to my awakening.

  And the rest I told him in stages. Anyway,that is over now.

  As far as a former Witness goes,well,at least I can tell my mother he is baptized,lol. But,it is easier,because they would get where you are coming from straight away. Sometimes,you can be on different levels of the ex-Witness thing though. One may be totally out and the other still fading. That takes adjustment. As with everything,there are still issues you have to sort through, no matter what.

  One day,I just want to be done with the whole Witness thing. Granted,that will be hard for me being raised one,and I will most certainly have family in.

  But,no matter,who I end up partnered with in this life,hopefully someone,I just want the day to come when the Witnesses are hardly ever mentioned. Only then,can I say I am totally free.
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  talesin

  y/w :D

  here's my comment from the other thread:

  It would be the same as anyone ... if they have unresolved issues, and are not 'working' on them, NOT interested. If they have worked through their major difficulties, then sure.

  I have found that my 'worldly' friends, including my ex, have been very understanding of how being born-in, abused, and shunned all my life has affected me. Over time, as they get to know me, they begin to 'get' it. I'm also pretty much over the religion (the shunning is still problematic for me), and they are quite horrified by the fact that this 'nice, normal' person has been treated like a criminal.

  tal
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  Finally-Free

  Only if they were like me - no connection to the JWs via family, friends, employment, etc.

  W
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  Broken Promises

  But,no matter,who I end up partnered with in this life,hopefully someone,I just want the day to come when the Witnesses are hardly ever mentioned. Only then,can I say I am totally free.

  I agree.
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  NewChapter

  I've dated both JW's and never beens. I never dated an ex-JW. They all had their problems. Never being a JW does not mean they will show a normal life---but then it could also mean that. I think I will just judge people individually. Everyone has some kind of baggage. However, I will never date a religious person again.

  NC