I would be concerned that they would return to the Borg...and that would be a disaster in a relationship. I ended up marrying an ex-7th Day Adventist, so she had an understanding of many of the "issues" with being involved in an "end times" religion. She helped me transition by understanding where I came from, without the fear that she would return to a similar religion. It worked for me, but I think each situation is different.
For exJW Singles - Would You Consider Dating/Marrying Another ExJW?
by Broken Promises 39 Replies latest social relationships
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VampireDCLXV
I would like to amend my previous post...
I'd have to say that, YES, being an X is a bit of a hindrance to dating at this time, especially when it comes to non-JWs. As I said before, I would need the other party to be very understanding and tolerant of my background, especially since I have family whom I could never see leaving the bOrg. I also have my personal hang-ups when it comes to celebrating holidays and the like. It isn't that I feel any personal guilt over any of that, I just don't see the fun in it. The family strife that would result over the holiday thing could become a serious issue as well. There are wordlies out there, though, who bear their own scars when it comes to holidays too, I'm sure. Yes, XJWs don't have the market cornered when it comes to being "screwed up".
When it comes to dating another XJW, especially a fader, I'm willing help her during moments of weakness. I can understand the fears and paranoias of being out in public and being seen by the "spies" even though I personally am becoming less and less bothered by it as time goes by. I do understand the concept of discretion - and hey - keeping some secrets can be fun. One thing I would need is for her to clearly see herself as an XJW and not confused as to whether she might return someday. I'll concede that dating an XJW does have an element of risk. The day that someone goes back to being a full-fledged JW is the day I walk out as I simply wouldn't be able to bear it. As I said, I wouldn't mind helping her through the occasional hang-up but watching her return to the vomit would be more than I could really stand...
V665
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karter
So shoul'd we start an EX-JW dating site??
Any takers?
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Broken Promises
Karter, I'm surprised no one has done it yet.
I appreciate everyone's replies to this question. As LHG says, there are no yes or no answers, it all depends on many factors. But I think it is a question us single exJWs think about, and it's good to hear other people's opinions.
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EmptyInside
As someone else mentioned earlier,it depends on the person. I feel if you truly care for someone ,you both should be willing to work through whatever issues. No matter who a person decides to go into a relationship with there will be issues,former Witness or not.
And some are worried a "fader" such as myself would go crawling back into the religion. It does depend on how long one has been gone. But,I wouldn't even consider dating an ex-Witness if I haven't already made up my mind of leaving the religion behind. I wouldn't misrepresent myself in that way.
Again,I'm just looking to start a new life away from the religion. It would be nice to eventually find someone to share that new life. And I would hope we could leave the past behind us.
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karter
Broken promises.
What shell we call the site?
EX-JW Match.
There is a one called ''Parteners in the truth''....Maybe we could call ours ''Parteners out of the truth"
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Broken Promises
I like Ex-JW Match, not that I can think of anything original, lol.
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andys
I have tried going with plan A and that was to try to convert one of those nice hot JW girls that come to my door every once and awhile to being Ex-JW but that plan has wound up failing but as far as plan B goes, yes I would date a ExJW.............................................................................
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truthsetsonefree
I've never dated an ex-JW. I always aspired to having someone who has never been so I could just be normal. In the end I got the ideal. I got married on June 16th to an non-JW who actually studied with JWs. She understands the religion but is independent enough to have never joined.
Isaac Carmignani
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Broken Promises
Awww, congrats Issac - best wishes to you both!
Again, I'm just looking to start a new life away from the religion. It would be nice to eventually find someone to share that new life. And I would hope we could leave the past behind us.
I think that's the dream for all of us, regardless of who we end up marrying.
I hope everyone who has posted will find that special one.
