I like how the WT has taught JWs that words can mean whatever you want them to mean! I don't think you should hold this against your friend, though. She can't help herself. The WT has convinced people that the dictionary is part of Satan's world. Have mercy on her.
Considering Shunning my JW Friend
by InterestedOne 28 Replies latest jw friends
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InterestedOne
serenitynow! - Interesting comment about the dictionary. When I studied with the JW's, I asked my conductor about the WT definition of the word "lie" and how it differs from the dictionary, and he said "that's a problem for Webster and not my problem." Are there any quotes from the WT that actually indicate the dictionary is part of Satan's world, or is this one of those ideas they pick up over time just from being immersed in the JW environment?
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serenitynow!
Interestedone, I don't know if it's in print about the dictionary. Blondie would know for sure. It's just something that I have come to see in my experiences in the JWs.
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Retrovirus
I asked my conductor about the WT definition of the word "lie" and how it differs from the dictionary, and he said "that's a problem for Webster and not my problem."
The jw arrogance can be breathtaking! Might as well say "I have spoken"
InterestedOne, I'm very sure you don't want to hurt your friend, you have gone a long way to try to understand her and communicate with her. It's sad that she cannot begin to reciprocate, but maybe that's how it is.
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jwfacts
It is perfectly reasonable for you to shun her, or at least stop choosing to associate with her. When people no longer relate to each other there is no reason to feel obligated to spend time together.
When I was in front of the "judicial committee" (another bastardised Watchtower phrase), I said there was no reason to disfellowship me as I no longer had any interest in associating with JWs, because it was frustrating and pointless speaking with people that are not allowed to have opinions but must always state the party line in any conversation. (They d/f'd me anyway.)
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talesin
Talesin, when you say end a friendship in a "normal" way, would you say my telling her that I want nothing more to do with her would be a "normal" way to end it?
Sure, why not? and I like the way Retrovirus put it, too. You can choose a kind way to tell her, even tell her that you find the way she talks to you and dismisses everything you say insulting, and it hurts your feelings. If she's a blinded JW, fine --- gone! If she's having doubts, and being defensive, it leaves a tiny crack in the door open if she ever wants to come to you with questions about REAL life.
Either way, you have to stop letting her walk on you --- you're too good for that. Feeling so bad you are nauseated -- uggh!
Sounds like you are a good friend, InterestedOne, and she doesn't have a clue how to be one back. She's probably a born-in. Let us know how you make out with it after the project is done. I'll be thinking of you, and will send you some good energy. (hug)
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worldtraveller
Life is too short and there are so many good people out there.
Why not just fade slowly and in a few weeks, move on.
No such thing as friends in the Watchtower world.
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the-illuminator81
I shun all JWs, except direct family. I don't want anything to do with that toxic cult anymore. Any discussion with any of them is simply an exercise in WTS excuse parroting. It will only strengthen their belief, because repeating the weak and lame excuses of the WTS, and having that crap coming out of their own mouth is an exercise in brainwashing, just like singing the kingdom melodies or commenting (i.e. repeating parts of the paragraph) during the WT study.
Because of this trained response and because the WTS is painting us apostates as using devil words and attacking the rank and file head on, by trying to argue with them directly you will demonize the arguments you are using so they will no longer think about those arguments, because when they come from your mouth they are evil, and you will fulfill the view that the WTS sketches of apostates. So it is totally counterproductive. Instead, behave not like the apostate that the literature describes, but be a happy one, be reluctant to speak about WTS doctrine and instead show them that you can lead a happy and fulfilling life outside of the WTS. Then when they are ready to speak to you again, try to make them aware of the brainwashing practices going on in other cults. Make them cult-aware. And finally, draw the parallels between other cults and the WTS. Then they might get an epiphany and will no longer ignore their own doubts. Doubts they all have, and doubts we don't even need to introduce.
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slimboyfat
Why use the word "shun"? Why frame the situation in Watchtower terms? People choose who to talk to and spend time with all the time. JWs allow the Watchtower to decide who can be their friend. Those of us who reject that control and make our own decisions about who to talk to and spend time with have little use for the concept of shunning.
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jean-luc picard
Oh dear. Friendships with jws is always complicated.
Their shunning = not speaking if you pass them in the street, ignoring of you totally etc.
You are more reasonable. You dont have to go that far.
Just tell her that you no longer wish to discuss the subject, but ask her if you can continue to be normal friends, who like hanging out etc.
Likelyhood is, she'll shun you. But at least she'll feel awkward. It might make her think