Considering Shunning my JW Friend

by InterestedOne 28 Replies latest jw friends

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  wobble

  The J.W's are frustrating/impossible to debate with. Stephen Law in his book "Believing Bullshit" which I recommended on a thread, has as one of his eight methods used to teach, or justify, B.S "Moving the Semantic Goalposts".

  He points out this is a method much beloved by theists as well as others. He says, and I agree, this is a totally intellectually dishonest method of argument, and one that invalidates your argument, even if what you are arguing is in fact true !

  Perhaps you could get your friend to read the book, but I doubt she will love the title, also people are not good at applying criticism to themselves, worth a try though.

  Try to be kind and honest in the way you limit, or end your friendship, in other words tower head and shoulders above the way JW's treat people.
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  Quandry

  This woman is simply trying to be loyal to the JWs. She cannot aknowedge that you may have a point if it goes against the WT doctrine. She must defend her beliefs. She cannot compromise...she is always right!

  I remember being in those situations, and defending the WTS! But, here I am today, so it is not impossible to think that some of your reasoning hits home, deep inside. But when she is put on the defensive, the WT think comes out.

  I agree with the poster that suggested that you agree not to discuss religion..yes...agree to disagree. I hope that you can "coexist" as friends.
• 

  NewChapter

  Good reminder Quandry. It's true, most of us here have been in that position. When I was there, I never had ANY doubt that I was right, my mind wasn't open to any idea introduced by Satan's world, my only goal in any discussion was to convince the other person---with NO THOUGHT that they could make a valid point if it disagreed with the society. It had nothing to do with the person personally---I simply had all the answers. And yet, like you, here I am!

  Wobble, thanks for that! I never heard this explained before and was not able to articulate it:

  "Moving the Semantic Goalposts".

  This idea is really going to help me express myself in the future. I was aware of it, but never pulled it out alone to examine it.

  NC
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  nugget

  What you didn't realise going in is that you do not and can never have a friendship. There is no recipricocity in this arrangement you give and she will take. You are a useful acquaintance to her and she is milking your skills as much as possible to her you are a cheap resource.

  I am sorry if this seems harsh but relationships between JWs and non JWs are usually on unequal terms. What I would do is finish off what you have agreed and then state that if she has need of your skills in future these are your business rates since in these tough times you cannot work for a pittance. Just clarify the terms of your relationship as a business one and walk away, if she calls and needs your expertise remind her of your charges.
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  the-illuminator81

  What you could ask is "What would convince you that the GB is not lead by the holy spirit?" or "What would convince you that JWs do not have the truth?"
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  OUTLAW

  Some people like to play with the meaning of words..

  That way they don`t have to take responsibility for what they say..

  I do my best to avoid those type of people..

  

  ...OUTLAW
• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  I am considering telling her I want nothing more to do with her business or her.

  Perhaps instead of making it quite so personal against her, I'd suggest telling her that you want to hear nothing more about her slavery to a self-appointed Governing Body with such a record of false prophecies that they have to constantly replace "old light" with "new light" and redefine words such as "generation" to become self-contradictory of their own publications. If she is so 100% devoted to an organization, it is pointless for you to waste your time on someone like that. There are plenty of other friends to be found.
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  sizemik

  I agree with slimboyfat on this . . .

  Why use the word "shun"? Why frame the situation in Watchtower terms?

  I would try to avoid even thinking in WT terms . . . just allow the relationship to find it's own level naturally. You don't have to be on a mission to save her. When her WTS mind-controlled personality manifests itself . . . sometimes a simple wry smile can cause the most dissonance . . . she will wonder what you're thinking . . . and might even dare to ask. Either way, the relationship will probably die a natural death if you quietly hold your ground.
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  No Room For George

  Classic case of people growing apart with different interests, values, and beliefs. Doesn't mean you have to hate them, but it doesn't mean you have to be ace boon coons either.