When and how did the GB start cracking down on the dubs social life? (page 4)

eva luna

LongHairGal,

Speaking of hard working people with limited coinage... The sister's house were I heard this conversation would have been on the 'approved list' . She had 3 meals brought over , 2 were bought, 1 was home made. The home made one was from a very low income, hardworking, single sister. She even made her own get well card. Not to minimize what the other 2 brought, but this sister's generosity tugged at my heart in a different way.

But all in all, this connects to JW's not being able to express love.

Heck, they cant even study the bible together. Parties/Get togethrs are regulated.

And as far as the great apostasy way back when , who new about that? Well unless you were there or new someone who was.

blondie

I knew someone who was and was told that was part of the reason they clamped down on informal groups studying the bible or WT material. It was hard to get anyone to say what was too large a group.

In this area they decided 2 families could get together or 2 single people (same gender) and study together. So 2 families of 5 each, 10 people, could study together, but not 3 to 10 single people of the same gender. They went back and forth as to how many people could be invited to a wedding reception. I remember one wedding, just inviting the family of both sides back to 1st cousins and 2 congregations added up to 400 people....too large...the family had it anyway and the fathers had to stop being elders.

It was a time of many pharisical rules, hard feelings, and what joy there was in the congregations was sucked out. While the WTS did not put a particular number in writing, through the COs and DOs, big hints were given that the elder body better guess right.

What Now?

In my hall, "official" congregation parties can only be hosted by elders. Even with those there are a lot of restrictions - invitations can not be handed out at the meetings or service groups, they have to be hand delivered to each persons home etc. All of the arrangements for food and drinks have to be made that way too. And for people that just want to have large gatherings (without it being a congregation party), there are so many rules they have to follow, at the risk of being pulled into the back room, that people just don't bother.

I hosted an 80's party a little while ago, there had to be elders present, we had to have the song list approved and so forth.

NewChapter

Wow, that kind of control would have driven me out much sooner. As I said earlier, I think we missed that memo. We often rented party rooms, had theme parties, talent shows, rented lodges together, camped in large groups etc. Since the KH doesn't believe in social functions attached to the hall, these were all arranged by people privately. If someone had said the guest list would have to be approved, many would have left.

NC

sd-7

To answer the title of this thread, I would say, "Sometime just before they got baptized, and every day after that."

I did notice there were very few get-togethers--once they got rid of the Book Study arrangement, it just wasn't as close a congregation anymore. The thing that really gets me is, why does a friendly get-together/party/gathering/whatever HAVE to be about spiritual upbuilding? I thought that was what meetings, personal study, prayer, and field service were for! Or is that so meaningless that the second we have a party, we're all going to get drunk and start humping a golden calf? And each other? It goes to show that the Society feels the ordinaries have absolutely no Christian conscience of their own. Which says more about the teachers than about the students, if you ask me.

The whole thing about supervision is...if people want to go off and have sex, or if they want to get drunk, they'll find a way to do it. I really don't see how the guy who invited them to a party is to blame for someone else's choices. By that logic, could people who 'date in groups' engage in inappropriate conduct, and then blame the other couple for inviting them to the dark, sexually charged movie theater?

I think there would be more logical/logistical reasons for why you shouldn't have 200 people at a party. You'll always have party-crashers and nobody wants people they don't know to just waltz in and pose a danger to your friends you've invited. Of course, I was never a social person--I went to a few gatherings with large groups, but the music was always too loud and the sisters too cute--it scared me half to death and I'd just sit in a corner and write in my notepad or play games on my cell phone. (I always wished for a less crappy cell phone, as playing football with characters the size of half a flake of dandruff is no fun.)

Anyway, the Society associates 'having a good time' with idolatry, fornication, drunkenness, and above all else, TIME SPENT NOT THINKING ABOUT HOW TO OBEY THEM. It's frightening to think that the JW's fickle mind (in the Governing Body's view, evidently) could spend 2 hours not studying a Watchtower or preaching and just relax. What on EARTH might he or she start thinking about?

Anyone else remember that article about 'recreation' that had as its first photo a group of people CLEANING THE KINGDOM HALL?? I couldn't believe my eyes. That was the Society's idea of recreation. Nobody even says recreation! Fun! That's what it's called! It's bad enough we're funding some old guys' retirement plan and giving 'em free labor, now they have to tell us when and how much we can have fun.

I was never much for socializing, but I always ignored their warnings and played as many video games and watched as many movies as I wanted. I just tried to avoid talking about it too much with the wrong people. (ie. Those who would could provide "proper supervision" of my 'recreation'.)

--sd-7

Rocky_Girl

I remember when they started the 10 people with an elder present rule. My family has 6 people (4 kids) so the invitations to dinner and picnics stopped completely for us. It really hurt my brother, who didn't make friends easily, and my parents. I also remember losing treat night after book study.

They are really shooting themselves in the foot with these rules and limits. Young people who don't connect with the congregation will not stay and will not care about being shunned by strangers.

ziddina

Eva Luna:

"...I over heard a conversation that it is now the rule that sisters cant arrange meals for anyone, unless they get approval from the elders. One of the sisters talking was so freaked out beacasue she had been counseled recently for arranging an unauthorized organized dinner drop. ..."

Pams girl:

"Eva Luna, are you saying you cant take a meal to someone in need unless its APPROVED BY THE ELDERS FIRST? They make me sick sick sick. Screw them. Control freaks! ..."

Boy, what the Baptists would have to say about that...

I think that the Baptists - especially the Southern Baptists - are well-known for organizing food and care for church members who are going through difficult times - and I don't think that the Pastor has to approve it, either...

This explains why my Texas friend told me that, as I visit various churches to get a 'feel' for other Christian denominations, when I visit a Baptist church, I'll get a very special welcome...

She said that, if I mention that I used to be a Jehovah's Witness, the Baptists will look at me and say, "Oh, you poor, poor thing!" with the deepest of sympathy...

And she added that they'll consider me approximately equivalent to someone who has recently escaped from a Satanic coven...

Hee hee!! Zid the She-Devil

moshe

I remember when they started the 10 people with an elder present rule

R-G,

Knew a family who went to another KH 20 miles from us who had 11 kids, 5 girls, 5 boys and one girl in that order- they came to the KH in one of those extended vans like churches use- I never realized it back then, but I'm sure they never got any invites for any social functions.

Velour

@Quendi I also felt like Jehovah must know better than me.

@Blondie Seriously, that list went on for days! Thanks for posting it. It's creepy seeing how much control and regulating of simply gathering together has been put out- seeing it all at once- they're definitely in protective mode.

My own family still tried to be social. They had familes over to our home and had bible games and dinner. Of course, no one wanted to play bible games and the parties quickly turned into the lamest, most boring, I'd-rather-be-washing-my-hair-right-now kind of parties but the elders never complained about their small gatherings. Oddly enough, before my family realized I was on my way out, my mother revealed how lonely she was inside the congregation despite these pitiful attempts to socialize, how she felt only close to my father and the family. She had this sense that even in the cong there weren't any spiritually strong people, even elders and their wives weren't good enough and needed to be viewed suspiciously. Sadly, this tactic of the organization has worked on my family so that they are outsiders even inside this cult- a serious case of Us vs. Them. It seems that those who take the organizations word as absolute law end up very lonely followers.

Lozhasleft

In the 90s in our very cold congregation I decided to make a concerted effort to bring people together at our home every couple of weeks to socialize. Served a buffet ..played instrumental music..kept things very carefully under control...mixed oldies with single parents and teens... didnt allow anything to come into question by the policemen oops elders....sometimes to make things a little more entertaining,we arranged teams to play Trivial Pursuit during these get togethers..that did it ...'competitive spirit'...the social times that some lonely ones valued so much were frowned on completely and had to come to an end.

Cant believe now that I didn't kick off against that...?

Loz x

When and how did the GB start cracking down on the dubs social life?

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