Dedalus,
I re-read some of your posts as well as mine. I also tried to sense what others have been saying in general.
You are right. I haven't answered your questions. And they do deserve an answer. I believe the questions to be fair, and ones that many have asked.
Since I see the Bible in perhaps a different light than you do, the events of the old testament do not trouble me as much as they do you. It may be that I'm missing something. It also may be that the context in which I understand them leads me to a different conclusion about them.
Some of the things you've mentioned are not examples of behaviors God approves of. For example, there are many examples in the book of Judges that exemplify the extent to which sinful men fall away from God. The sins that the people of Israel committed got progressively worse. But the book points out that the cause of their behaviour was their rejection of God. Because of their rejection of God, their lives and their society grew progressively worse. In the end (as the last verse in Judges states), "there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in their own eyes."
Many of the events you have issues with can be found in the book of Judges. In addition, you will find examples of child sacrifice, brutal murders, incest, and rape.
But the moral of the story is not "you must try harder or else....". It's really "here's the depths that SOME may fall to when they turn their backs on God." The Jews were God's chosen people. Yet they had fallen so far away from God that in some ways they were worse than the nations that surrounded him.
They were not far different than what some have done today in the name of God. You are absolutely right about that as well. There are some who call themselves Christians who have done despicable things in the name of God.
Many religions have taken these stories and used them to fashion a tyrannical form of religion made up of a list of oppressive rules used to control people rather than help them out. These religions mistakenly think that if they come up with the right set of rules, they can someone gain God's favor. The problem is that is just doesn't work. In fact, God NEVER intended our relationship with Him to be based on a set of rules.
The "core" message of the Bible is that no good thing we do can get us any closer to God. It would be like trying to swim from California to Hawaii. You may be able to get part of the way. But everyone would eventually drown.
The "core" message of the Bible is about God's love. He wants a relationship with us and provided a means to "mend the fence" so to speak. When Jesus died on the cross, he paid the penalty for our sin. God no longer holds my sin against us, because Jesus took the punishment for us on the Cross.
Unfortunately, most religions simply don't "get it". Most teach a warped view of God that presents him as an oppressive being just waiting to lash out at those who cross Him up. The God I see in the Bible is nothing like this. He wants to have a personal relationship with us, and has communicated in the Bible the means to that relationship.
I realize that this doesn't answer all your questions, but hopefully it is a starting point.
I do appreciate this forum and I don't mind continuing the discussion if it can be fruitful. I certainly cannot answer all your questions but will make an attempt to respond if I feel I reasonably can.