((((00mpaa))) I have so much respect for what you did . It breaks my heart to see how this religion effects families . How did they react afterwards ? It has to touch them to their core . I imagine they must have a horrible time sleeping at night turning over your words in their minds as they try to counter that with the hate in the Watchtower ...... I hope as your son says this will all now end ....no more JW's in your family line .
told my parents to never ever tell me they love me again....
by oompa 49 Replies latest jw friends
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still thinking
Oompa...thanks for sharing your feelings....they reached out and grabbed me.
You were very brave and I'm glad you managed to speak to them...I hope it sinks in.
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ABibleStudent
((((((((Oompa))))))))) I am so sorry for what you are going through, and I want to congratulate you on saying it to your parents in a very loving way way.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
ABibleStudent
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laverite
Many of us can relate to the shunning, Oompa. ((((hugs))))) to you.
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nancy drew
The organization teaches people to play this horrible game of chicken . They hold your family hostage thinking you'll give in but its important as you have found out to protect yourself and do what you need to go on with your life. Your parents have chosen something and they have to live with it they don't mind inflicting pain on you so let them live completely with their choice. You have to think about yourself and what you can live with and not drag out the pain. your relationship with them is over so be it.
take care of yourself
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crazycate
I am so, so sorry for your pain. If a person was going to return to a religion he has left, it shouldn't be because his family will cut him off otherwise.
The organization acknowledged this by saying, "No one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his beliefs and his family." (Awake, July 2009, page 29.)
However, the majority of witnesses, from long training, only apply this to people leaving other religions. One person I asked about this article said, "That doesn't apply to people leaving The Truth." The other said, "You are misapplying that statement. You need to be readjusted."
Our family (my husband, children and I) is what I call "soft-shunned." Because we haven't disassociated ourselves and we haven't been disfellowshipped, only a few people pointedly ignore us when they see us. But the family that my family (parents and syblings) was closest to growing up, that are like aunt and uncle and cousins, has told me that they can't have anything to do with me unless I return. So my sisters go places with this family all the time--out to dinner, on trips, on all kinds of fun outings, and I am not invited. It hurts.
It is very difficult to accept rules, and the consequence of breaking rules, that you no longer agree with.
My condolences.
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bats in the belfry
...take comfort in their very own teaching!
THESE OUGHT TO KNOW BETTER
Some professed Christians are oh so kind and forgiving toward persons outside the Christian congregation who commit some trespass. But let their Christian brother become guilty of the same misdeed against them, and, instead of showing the same mercy, these become cold as ice and as hard as stone. To justify their hardheartedness, they will often say these ought to know better, whereas we have to make allowances for people outside because they do not know any better. So they show no love to their brother. Jesus classed these unforgiving ones with the scribes, Pharisees and hypocrites, saying, You “have disregarded the weightier matters of the Law, namely, judgment and mercy and faithfulness.” (Matt. 23:23, NW) Instead of saying he should have known better, perhaps it would be better to say, He is still weak and imperfect in the flesh, as we all are. Paul shows that could be quite possible.—Rom. 7:15-25.
If we show a hardhearted attitude we bar out God from showing us mercy. “With the merciful thou wilt shew thyself merciful; with an upright man thou wilt shew thyself upright.” (Ps. 18:25) Do we have grounds for refusing mercy to fellow brothers because, in our view, these should have known better? Let us apply the same rule to ourselves and reason that God will henceforth not forgive us or be patient with us because we, too, should know better, now that we have come into the truth.
There is an opposite side to this too. If we withhold mercy it will be withheld from us. To add mercy to others is to have it added to us. To multiply mercy toward others means that it will be multiplied in an even greater abundance to us. “With the measure that you are measuring out they will measure out to you.” (Matt. 7:2, NW) To withhold mercy is to be cruel.
Wicked men are without mercy. “But the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.” (Prov. 12:10) In the illustration of the unforgiving slave, the one who withheld mercy from his fellow slave had it withheld from himself in turn. The unmerciful slave the master called wicked. “Wicked slave, I canceled all that debt for you, when you entreated me. Ought you not, in turn, to have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I also had mercy on you?” Jesus added: “In like manner my heavenly Father will also deal with you if you do not forgive each one his brother from your hearts.” (Matt. 18:32-35, NW) “For the one that does not practice mercy will have his judgment without mercy.”—Jas. 2:13, NW.
Mercy for the Merciful / w53 11/15 pp. 682-683 -
ziddina
Wow, Oompa...
Kudos for your strength!
I admire you. You are my HERO, man!
I'm sure it was painful, but that was something that THEY NEEDED TO HEAR.
If only everyone who is being shunned could say something like that, to their active JW relatives...
Zid
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journey-on
oompa.....your OP was so painful to read. I just wanted to reach out and hold you close and try to take some of your pain into myself to ease you just a little. It doesn't work that way, though, does it?
When I realized that I would rather experience death at Armageddon than to treat my flesh and blood like lepers during the only lifetime I knew for certain I had (the here and now), I knew I was going to be okay. Bring it on! I'll die with honor! Forever on earth in a paradise full of JWs is not worth one second of pain caused to my loved ones.
I'm happy you have found a modicum of peace. Hope it just grows and grows.
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oompa
and yep guys....it was damm hard....one of the hardest things i have ever done....and i checked out here mentally for awhile guys but thank you so much for all your kindness and understanding....only you guys!....sooooo much going on in my life now....mostly positive but this is a tough road....letting go of things that cause me pain is still going on and it is so costly for me....ouch....as in losing a chunk of coin in pendidng divorce....
Troubled mind- my parents had no reaction really....i asked them to only listen and they did....they did not cry i dont think...i looked at the carpet a lot near the end before i walked out and avoided eye contact....i want to thnk they cried when i left for some reason....and they have not called or emailed since
Broken promises- the weight off of my shoulders is amazing...and you were soooo right saying "you have to live YOUR life for YOU and those who cause you pain can not be a part of your life anymore"......that was just perfect....and yep...im not crazy....they are kinda...and im not afraid to say it anymore....for every one of them that says im mentally diseased or crazy or whatever there are a million normal people who agree with me....so i dont need my incessant efforts at valadation and trying to save those i love from it....at least my boys are out and free!!!!!
and somebody said something about self preservation...that is exactly what i was doing...that was my motive....and i dont really want or expect them to wake up and flee!....i just want them to crack up some part of their heart to let me and my boys in....wet face wow....must have been holding that back awhile...to think their leaders even make rules that let them resurrect me when they need me....sick...abbynormal.....oompa
oh and in this thread or the one announcing my joy at my boys waking up i used a ficticious family name and forgot to mention that...think i said it was andrews or edwards...and funny i so want to go ahead and put pics of me and my boys and cat and stuff on here with my real name and contact info...but one of my sons is still going to meetings because as of now he just does not want the df status for family and social reasons only....and me and his other brother have tried to get him to take the full monty walk away and start over...but he is not there yet (but wow does he have an example in me of really walking away and the high costs)...funny... he knows so many slackers or faders that have been successful at that game....and he wants to give it a try and just fade away....but i know they wont let him....not oompas son!!!
more courage...less fear....good combo