Shunning..... at Meetings ???

by IMHO 43 Replies latest jw friends

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  IMHO

  Can someone explain why JWs shun disfellowshipped ones when they are at their meetings (i.e. making moves to come back)?

  I can understand why you may not want to 'socialize' with ones who do not share your beliefs.

  But surely shunning such ones at the 'meetings'; assuming they are not there to cause trouble, is unloving; should they not be welcomed like the prodigal son.

  True Christians are known by the 'love' they show. It's not very loving to ignore an 'old friend' who is attending a Christian meeting. Is that why DF'd ones are only allowed to enter as the meeting starts and leave as soon as it finishes so interested ones at the meeting and not stumbled by seeing someone being ignored.
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  Quarterback

  There is a Reinstatement period that iccurs when one is DF, or DA. This is initiated by the DA/DF person who writes a letter of appology, and wants to come back. The Reinstatement committee will meet privately with the member, and advise them to attend the meetings. The member must make thier transportation arrangements by themselves. Then time goes on to see if they will be accepted back. It's a waiting game.

  That because if any body wanted to leave, they were free to choose and make that decision.
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  mrsjones5

  Its a misapplication of tough love.
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  nugget

  the df'd one has to prove they are worthy and more importantly that they are controlled and have reached an appropriate level conditioning so will cause no future issues.

  The shunning is an object lesson to all other witnesses of what will happen to them if they sin reinforcing the control over the faithful as well as the sinner.
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  NewChapter

  Is that why DF'd ones are only allowed to enter as the meeting starts and leave as soon as it finishes so interested ones at the meeting and not stumbled by seeing someone being ignored.

  IMHO--they are actually ALLOWED to enter and leave as they wish. Most choose to do it this way to relieve some of the discomfort of shunning. Most also sit in the back too---but again, they are ALLOWED to sit anywhere. These are just unspoken expectations. I remember when a DF'd person came in late and there were no seats in back, so they took one toward the front. Many were just outraged at the disrespect, but they were the disrespectful ones. They shouldn't be viewing some seats as the more priviliged seats. And if it was such an outrage, why were they taking up the back rows and not sitting front and center?

  It's an evil policy. There is no graceful way to carry it out. The simple logistics of the official and then the unofficial rules can leave a person quite confused. Do you hold the door open for the disfellowshipped person, or let it close because you can't acknowledge them? How do you speak to a toddler that is being held by a df'd parent? Is it loving to silently accept a baby from a df'd mom and pass it around like they do? How about if a child is misbehaving and the parent is df'd. How do you comfortably warn the parent?

  It's absolutely ridiculous!

  NC
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  IMHO

  A good friend of mine was told they had to sit at the back.

  They arrived early to make sure they the seats at the back were available but were then told that they were not allowed in until the meeting was about to start and that they would save a seat at the back for them.
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  looloo

  my hubby when "going back " as a disfellowshipped person was told to come in during the song and leave right away after the meeting , he was also told not to associate with another disfellowshipped lad who also attended , one day he came in and wanted to sit at the back and a woman refused to move for him to do so despite being asked by the brother stood at the back counting ! what a cow , my hubby gave up and didnt go again !
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  Little Imp

  Before I met my husband he said he was at a meeting once and spoke to the chap sitting next to him who replied "don't talk to me I am disfellowshipped". My husband told him that it didn't bother him but didn't carry on the conversation as he wanted to respect his wishes.
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  sir82

  There is a Reinstatement period that iccurs when one is DF, or DA. This is initiated by the DA/DF person who writes a letter of appology, and wants to come back. The Reinstatement committee will meet privately with the member, and advise them to attend the meetings. The member must make thier transportation arrangements by themselves. Then time goes on to see if they will be accepted back. It's a waiting game.

  You've got the order a bit mixed up. Here's how it goes

  1) Offender gets DF'ed

  2) DF'ed person attends every meeting for a minimum of ~6 months (more or less)

  3) DF'ed person writes letter asking for reinstatement

  4) Elders on his judicial committee confer, then meet with DF'ed

  5) They can reinstate him then, or tell him "no". If "no", steps 2-5 are repeated until the answer is "Yes".

  I.e., it is expected - actaully, demanded - that the DF'ed person attend every single meeting in order to be reinstated. Miss "too many" meetings and that is taken as "lack of repentance" and absolutely no resinstatement takes place.
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  agent zero

  he was also told not to associate with another disfellowshipped lad who also attended

  telling the disfellowshipped not to associate with the disfellowshipped! the next level of shunning!