I've lurked a long time: JW's produce some of the most paranoid humans (page 3)

The Fence

Beautiful post. Kudos to your very applicable username as well.

Retrovirus

Welcome, Unlearn!

Wonder how many more long-term lurkers are out there? Hi to you too!

Welcome (((((((Unlearn)))))) and great first post. You said that you got your wife out too that is great! Will you be sharing how you did it without too many details? Do you have children and did you get them out also?

Life is a lot sweeter without the fear, envy, paranoia, worthlessness, and servitude to a printing and distribution corporation that uses thought reform to enslave JWs!!

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

ABibleStudent

Unlearn

Thanks again, folks.

@ Spectre -
Well, there were always little things...the type of rogue illogical 'facts' that JW's parade as Satanically suppressed 'truth'. Excuse any misspelled words or grammatical errors I may commit: when I start typing it's very 'in the moment'. ;)

Ever since I was a kid, these 'logical ideas' would linger in my head a bit longer that other JW kids...definitely longer than my parents would like.

Still, I wholeheartedly embraced these things and immersed myself in them...which is the way you make your doubts kind of 'go away'...at least for a while.Theres a reason they like to keep their flocks busy non-stop. I remember when I was about 12 or 13 years old saying to my Dad that the reason that we were told not to read certain things or watch certain things or listen to certain people is because it seemed that, if we did, after a while we might believe them. A steady diet of these things would convince us that they were valid. And, if that was the case...couldn't the same be said of the constant admonition to drown our brains in WT lore. It's the same thing! Confine your brain in a cell with any ideology, and they likely will become 'friends'.

Anyhow, one thing that never, ever became 'settled' for me was the age of man. I'm no archaeologist, but it takes just a casual look at the evidence to KNOW that man is much older than 6,000 years. It's a fact. I know some Biblical apologists will argue and rationalize and this and that. I respect your right to see reality in your own way. But, it's a fact.

I always viewed myself as a fairly educated man. I prided myself on being rather 'forward' in my thinking...and it repulsed me over the years that I was indeed part of a 'fundamental' and conservative religion. Oh sure, JW's like to paint themselves as 'progressive' in some aspect...'revolutionaries' of truth, and all that. Bullshit. They're very 1950's conservative and 'right' leaning. This bummed me out to no end. I was a respected elder...who felt that gays were born that way, that use of natural drugs was a personal matter, who felt that men and women could be physically 'touchy-feely' friends. My wife knew this (she's as 'forward thinking' as I) and so did a couple of really close friends. Still, I hid what I was...which, coincidentally, is further proof that their vaunted 'holy spirit' is a manufactured feel-good scheme. I was used quite often in the district: id leave meetings for D.C. rehearsals, get in my car, and listen to 'debasing music' all the way home. I'd do other things that I won't go into just yet, (GOOD THINGS, trust me) but which would've shocked the most liberal brother.
'Holy Spirit' didn't expose me or boot me out. I got more privileges of service.

I stopped studying with my wife 2 years before we both made certain moves to break all ties. She would be so hurt...and cry to me. She'd beg me to study with her...to be the head of the family. She would say how she felt so deprived, because I was a service to so many in the cong. but not to her. I could not study with her, because I felt foolish. That shadow in my mind was growing: I could not focus seriously on myths.

I thought of my life and my future...and the future of others close to me, which I will not go into just yet...in an effort to retain some anonymity. There are so many things to do and be. Life is an amazing miracle. It's to be taken and clung to and relentlessly used! It's YOURS.
I will say too, that sadly 607 was an issue that I continuously had to sweep aside from my main view. Most JW's do this: it's a constant practice of 'distraction'. You develop the amazing ability of self-distraction: WT supplies you with the tools. There is always some counter-point manufactured by these cult leaders to do battle with any real 'truth' which myght stumble onto your radar. It's a very genius thing...interesting to see in action.

So, these things...among others were all swirling in my tired mind. I was literally just 'hanging in there'. I had begun researching this site and others sporadically. Sometimes I would be delighted to find that there were folks like me. Other times, I would be racked with guilt. I remember silently crying when listening to an interview with Ed Dunlap about his leaving the WT and then readinf Fred Franz's words about how WT kicked him out. I remember that night...cering downstairs. It was 2 am: my wife was upstairs asleep.

Then the push I needed came along. The thing that would make me finally call bull-shit. I still remember the first time I read it...and my shoch, anger, and strangely, relief...

'They had some sort of membership in the UNITED NATIONS?! WHAT?!'

sabastious

Welcome! Very cool first post. You must be a wealth of knowledge and experience. Don't unlearn the good parts! One thing I have noticed about us humans is that we have a will to learn in any circumstance no matter how fortunate or unfortunate. I would guess that with every experience you unlearn another perspective on the same one will spring forth.

-Sab

wannabefree

welcome, congratulations

Spectre

Good lord, man! I said "one thing"!

I had issues with a lot of those same thing. Thanks for the background story.

clarity

Unlearn ... that wbts does 'spit-out' some pretty screwed up humans! If you say one word to them that doesn't sound just "right", you can almost see the trap door behind their eyes .... slamming shut! A "deer caught in the headlights" kind of look!

Interesting intro ... big welcome to this oasis.

clarity

JW GoneBad

Unlearn: Welcome. Many of us here can relate to what you've been through. Looking forward to learning more.

A question for the rest of you Lurkers........ Who's next? Why not introduce yourself yourselves? Would love to meet you and hear about your adventures in Watchtower World!

Unlearn, once again, Benvenuto!

nateb

Funny how similar so many of our stories are. I was also a once terrified lurker. Also gave the baptismal talk at the district level. A complete atheist/agnostic when I gave it. I wonder if those baptisms stuck or if they need a redo. Ha ha Glad you kept your wife. I lost mine. Welcome to independent thinking. It's messy but it's the only way to go. Best wishes.

I've lurked a long time: JW's produce some of the most paranoid humans

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