Gloating over the fallen is exactly what the requirement of being present for the announcement of one's own disfellowshipping is, ziddina. Nothing less. Knowing what I do now, I would have refused to attend any of the judicial committee hearings and Witness meetings again. But I thought I was the filthy, unrepentant sinner the judicial committee said I was. One of the elders even told me I couldn't trust my own thinking because I was "spiritually sick". I'm ashamed now that I ever listened to, let alone believed, that kind of talk. It's a cheap, dishonest psychological ploy, but it has worked on millions since the disfellowshipping arrangement was instituted.
Others have remarked that people exercise the power over us that we give to them. Since I was convinced that the WTS was indeed "Jehovah's organization" and I would die at Armageddon if I was not reinstated, I spent several years trying to return. It was only when I finally realized that the WTS was no more what it claimed to be than the Man in the Moon was that I walked away a free man. I'll never go back to that kind of hatred and abuse again. It was the WTS that was "spiritually sick", not I. I'm so glad I have come to realize this now. Retrovirus is right to call the WTS "fluppin' control freaks" for that is its motivation, not the love for God and man it professes to have. But its end shall be according to its works, and I hope to live to see it!
Quendi