Sitting Still at Meetings has Become an Impossibility (page 2)

DaCheech

i'm the same way, take a walk around the parking lot once in while

Just quit going. Thats what I did. My family eventually got used to the fact I wasn't in their little club anymore. If your friends don't want to associate with you anymore, well, then were they really your friends? Besides, with 7 billion people on this planet, you can easily find new friends, real friends who don't care what church you go to or if you even go or not.

Why be miserable and unhappy? It's your life, you only get one, make it the best you can. Yes there can be some pain in making this adjustment, but better to get it over with than to be miserable the rest of your life trying to do what other people think is best for you.

No Apologies

the-illuminator81

Your mind knows that you should not be there. Your body wants to leave too. That's what happening. You feel threatened in that environment, which is unhealthy.

You are not ready to leave. I was not ready to leave for a year. Finally I realized that I would never be ready to leave, that there would never come a good time to leave, only bad times to leave. When I realized that, I left.

crazycate

I was having panic attacks with sobbing before every meeting. And when my mind wasn't engaged on some task, my brain felt like it was whirling, "What am I going to do? What am I going to do?"

It helped to come here and see that I wasn't alone, but I had to quit going before I (eventually) felt ok again. It took a long time. I recommend reading Steve Hassan's Combating Cult Mind Control.

scooterspank

I was in the KH yesterday for my sister-in-laws funeral service. It took everything in me not to run out half way through. Shaking, cold sweaty palms, heart racing. Luckily I had not been in a KH in a very long time and will never step foot in one again...born and raised fader, should have taken the Xanax. I wish you luck and totally agree with No Apologies.

Resistance is Futile

Your sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight response) is being over stimulated because on some level your brain perceives the environment of the Kingdom Hall as a threat to your wellbeing and safety. This is actually a very "normal" response to what you're currently going through. So while your doctor may have told you it's "all in your mind" that's not completely accurate. Yes the panic attacks do originate in your mind but you are certainly experiencing very real physiological effects. During these episodes your body is releasing large amounts of adrenaline which then circulates through your bloodstream and causes the symptoms you described. Talking to a trained psychologist should help considerably. Of course venting here with people who can directly relate to what you're going through can also help.

nateb

Very familiar. My exit started with frequent visits to the back of the Hall. By the end, I was taking laps around the parking lot. Your brain is telling you to get the hell out of Dodge.

keyser soze

I was in the same boat until about six years ago. I kept going to meetings after I stopped believing, for the sake of family and friends. If eventually became too unbearable, to the point where I just couldn't bring myself to go anymore, family and friends be damned. Appeasing them is just not worth your mental health.

NewChapter

I had very similiar symptoms my last few years at the KH. Then I became inactive, and anytime something spiritual came up I would just start sobbing. It alarmed everyone. I suppose they thought demons were involved. I mean, who starts crying at the mere mention of Jehovah? Demons! But it kept happening. Then one day, my brain cleared, and I called bullshit. It all went away! My mind had finally recognized what I already knew and what my body had been trying to tell me. I haven't had a panic attack since. I don't burst into tears. I'm calmer than ever in my life.

You are putting yourself through incredible stress, and your body responds. Even the thought of entering the KH makes me nauseaus, and I'm pretty convinced that actually entering would make me vomit at this point. That's not just a snarky statement either. I LITERALLY think my body would completely rebel. As long as you've been checked out and know you aren't having other physical problems, then deal with this like you would stress.

Can you slip an ipod into one ear and block out the monotone? Can you do some reading? Have you read any of Steve Hassan's books? That should be on your list! Can you sit away from the mainhall? Like the library or kitchenette? Just tell them you've been experiencing a great deal of anxiety and it's hard to be in a large room with many people. If you have to be at the hall, do whatever you can to get out of the auditorium! Sit in a bathroom stall. Take breaks. Step outside.

Take Care Of Yourself!

NC

kimbo

welcome

I go for family

not to hear evil slave lies..

I go for a walk when the bull shit gets to much..

I hate the governing body ...

Sitting Still at Meetings has Become an Impossibility

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