Hiding Questioner: The breakdown didnt last very long, I had a hard time with it about the first 3 to 6 months..even made me physically ill. But once you take the whole red pill and not just half, there is no going back and/or holding on to existing beliefs. This is why I choose not to talk about my personal views to my family. They are happy and are up in years..the org is all they have..and I won't take it away from them. Ignorance is bliss in this case. I am only in my low to mid 30s (my age sounds like a weather report)..so it is a bit easier for me.
I guess the key thing when it comes to recovering from being indoctrinated over a long period of time, is to be willing to accept what is....which is a very hard thing to do. To admit that you were wrong and be able to start over again mentally from a whole different perspective on life. There is an initial shock (emotional breakdown), but eventually you rebuild yourself over time.
If you are still in the org yet out mentally, it can still be a challenge since everyone you see/associate with in your congregation believes something contrary to what you believe; not to mention walking on eggshells hoping you won't slip up and say something. Sometimes that can make you feel like your crazy since your thinking against the majority. You just have to keep reminding yourself of who you are and that its not a "sin" to think for yourself. No one has the right to tell you how to think or feel...always remember that. I personally am only in for family reasons, but that probably won't last much longer.
I was watching the wizard of oz the other night..and it reminded me of my journey. You start down the path (yellow brick road) and you begin to use feelings/things you never really had to use before (brain, heart, courage). You put them all together in order to face your fear (questioning the wizard) and you then find out everything you believed in was a lie (a man behind the curtain). You feel the onset of shock (a break down), then mad (reality of being lied to), despondent (don't know what to think now), and then finally you become ok with thinking on your own (freedom).
In short, your now walking down the never ending path of enlightenment..or whatever you choose to call it.