Women who have affairs...are they DUMB to think he will leave his wife?

by Witness 007 56 Replies latest jw experiences

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  LongHairGal

  Witness007:

  Maybe if it's a young woman she might be naive enough. Hope springs eternal and it has been known to happen that some man will leave his wife. However, this is very UNCOMMON. An older woman should really know better because she sees how the world works.

  There are far too many married men around looking for something on the side and sadly there are women who will say yes. I was "friendly" with a man I used to come into contact with near work and we started to talk to each other over a span of at least a decade. He revealed that he was married. Even though we were "friendly", I wouldn't sleep with him. I know he wondered why I would not and he made a few remarks inferring that perhaps I was "screwed up about the religion". Not so. I had no intention of wasting it on some married guy and he wasn't really my type. My "hang-up" was mostly about not wanting to go with somebody married.

  It makes me angry that men think they can have it both ways and I don't believe in enabling them. He used to send me greeting cards. He retired a few years ago. Naturally, the cards stopped and my twice yearly phone call pretty much stopped. Even though I wish him well, it would have been pointless if I slept with him.
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  NewChapter

  LOL Undercover that certainly changes the narrative about the poor, dumb, naive, other woman. Seriously guys, if you are thinking of stepping out, don't assume that other woman is really gonna want your committment. She just may be the one stringing you along. (yes, I've seen it.)

  NC
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  caliber

  "the grass is always greener on the other side ".... but sooner or later it needs cutting , watering, weeding

  that's when reality is forced to set in ... !!!!!!!!!!!

  Relationships are often governed by competing emotions. And in your case, two separate issues might help explain what is going on – understanding the difference between "being in love" and "attachment."
  
  Love is a strong emotion which typically involves passion and desire – a need to be physically and emotionally intimate with another person. Love is designed to bring people together.
  
  Attachment, on the other hand, is the sense of security, stability and comfort which people derive from their relationships. Attachment is designed to keep people together

  Again, love and attachment do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. It is possible to be in love with one person, but have an attachment to someone else.

  http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/community-features/ask-an-expert/questions-by-topic/infidelity/443-will-he-leave-his-wife.html
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  FlyingHighNow

  But reality isn't always so bad if there is a good foundation to begin with.
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  caliber

  As much as a man may want to leave his wife.... they "have a history "working together, kids, grandkids. vacations, friends..share experiences !

  Much like someone that has lost their memory .... they can function today ... But what is your life without a past and history of memories ?

  Life has less meaning... it can seem empty . A great contradiction sets in. ....A full lifetime of history can never be replaced.

  Amnesia can be very traumatic.... you can be robbed of all your past.... one must realize how important memories are to our function and enjoyment

  of life .... who we are... where we came from builds us into who we are today !
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  00DAD

  Reality, what a concept!
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  curiouscynic

  As Marilyn Monroe famously said, "Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives."

  Perhaps the lady would prefer he remain married so she is guaranteed the best he has to offer...
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  FlyingHighNow

  Hey, you build new history, Caliber. It doesn't need to replace the old history. That history will always be there. No one can take it and divorce does not cancel it. You just begin building history with a new person in your example.
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  caliber

  Heath I believe if you read many histories here on JWN you would see that much bitternes comes from those who feel

  the WT took away many opportunities that can never come again well paying jobs , having children etc.

  Only Vampires have endless time to do all things over again .

  I have a friend who once briefly separated from his wife of 30 plus years and had a girlfriend.

  He was the one who told me "you know Caliber there are a thousand women you could take up with tomorrow

  but do you know what would always be lacking ? ..... your history !

  'Shared history "is much different from a mere mental recollection of your life !!
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  FlyingHighNow

  Caliber, you can make a unique history with the new person though. I have been divorced a long time now. I still have the histories of my two marriages. I also have a nice decade long history with Andy.