Ya' know, people mess up. Some of us learn from our mistakes, some of us keep doing 'em.
In a strange way, I have come to believe that JW policies create a situation where a person is actually MORE likely to have an affair if their marriage is bad. Why? Because you can't just get a divorce, you can't just "pack your junk in a bag and leave...... then, find someone else."
I do believe that being faithful is better. And I also believe that two need to work together to make a marriage successful. If only one tries it might make things a bit better, but that by definition is NOT a marriage, it's a living-arrangement. Sure some people might use the "he/she's not loving, caring, sexual, [FILL IN THE BLANK]" excuse to justify their behavior. But the fact is, a lot of people are or have been in marriages where that is the fact.
I was in a marriage for over 20 years with a woman that I was madly in love with at the beginning. But, as she admitted AFTER we separated, SHE withdrew 5 or 6 years before the separation. She withdrew in every way that mattered, emotionally, physically, socially. I tried to get her to go to counseling, but she wouldn't. Our marriage was celibate. Does any of that justify the affair I eventually had? No, but it does explain a few things.
For a while I even thought that if I was just a better "Brother" that would help, so I became a super-Elder. Ironically, it was because of that that I saw MORE of the hypocrisy of the organization and came to question more and more of their teachings and practices that eventually led to me becoming completely disillusioned with the WTBTS.
If we hadn't been JWs I would have separated long before and probably divorced. Or maybe a trail separation early would have been a wake-up call to her. I don't know. But since she thought I would never leave she mistakenly thought she didn't need to make any changes and I would always be there.
Was an affair "forced" on me? Obviously not. But when you have a healthy human being that has been deprived emotional and physical intimacy for YEARS you have a situation just ripe for an affair. Enter an individual that starts paying you the attention you've been denied and ... well, I'm only human, I admit it. Do I wish I handled things differently? Yes, but even now 2 1/2 years later I'm not exactly sure how that could have been done as a captive of JW-land.
Witness 007, you can judge me all you want. Your opinion matters not to me. Your expression just sounds like more of the judgmental, narrow-minded crap that so typifies all that is best about JW Theology, Practices and Doctrines.
Life is messy. Deal with it.
