Dangerous "Pent up" feelings inside of most witnesses?

by stuckinarut2 25 Replies latest jw friends

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  stuckinarut2

  I have often wondered if there is more harm done to people who are stifled or smothered from expressing their natural conduct, feelings or actions because of it being condemned by religious ideals?

  So if a person keeps suppressing their real personality and tries to mould themselves to the "perfect" or "ideal" version as expected from those controlling them, could they eventually "bust" so to speak?

  For instance, witnesses condemn many forms of entertainment. So what happens if and when someone lets themselves watch that movie or listen to that song? (Not speaking of anything actually bad...just bad in witness terms...eg violent, or bad language)

  Is the guilt they experience more harmful than the movie itself?
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  Garrett

  Uh... I don't mean to be blunt, but the answer is an obvious yes...

  Being told to be someone you aren't will end up with you failing to meet expectations, which in turn will lead to constant guilt and feelings of worthlessness.

  Constant feelings of guilt and not feeling worthwhile can cause depression which can then escalate to self abuse, suicidal thoughts and mental illness that can be extremely hard to recover from. One day, they will most certainly have a mental blow out.

  While trying to correct certain tendencies is fine, suppressing an entire persona will, most usually, only have negative effects on the person.

  Garrett
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  Xanthippe

  The psychologist my husband and I went to see after leaving the WTS listened to our description of the rules and regulations regarding sexuality even within marriage that JW are subjected to and he said that kind of repression often leads to child abuse. This was twenty-six years ago and we said no there is no evidence of that!
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  prologos

  For some, their feelings are not perceived by them to be dangerous, these are barely pent up, these are expressed in not so subtle ways. Ask any low hour, low wealth, low status witness, or the ones shunned about their experiences.
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  kairos

  I'm convinced that my nausea, ( http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/288927/im-living-nausea )

  is directly related to keeping my doubts and guilt inside.

  My wife and I are getting to a point in our relationship where we can discuss any topic, but the three years prior as I was awakening have taken a hard toll on me. Not to mention the 20 years prior that I was indoctrinating myself.

  This week has been the worst of my life. I sure hope I'm healing.
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  freemindfade

  I have often wondered if there is more harm done to people who are stifled or smothered from expressing their natural conduct, feelings or actions because of it being condemned by religious ideals?

  stuckinarut2

  You and I are on the same page. This may be on of the single biggest things that broke me out of this nonsense. I see it as so unnatural and so destructive.

  A lot of "ugly" witness traits I believe are due to this internal pressure cooker. It turns people into police, and it makes them criticize themselves to no end while at the same time holding a high and mighty view of themselves and their org. Its a paradox of I am lower than scum, but the best in the world. The judgement of behaviors and little JW rules makes people insane. They are not the only, the same thing happens in other groups. The amish do the same thing, everyone becomes busy bodies policing and enforcing nonsensical man made rules.

  You and I should speak more on this. its not a doctrine thing, its not a dogma thing, its a underlying deeply psychological byproduct of this cult. Think about people who are homosexual and are forced by them selves and external pressure around them NOT to be what they really are. This has to cause deep pain and difficulty. From major things like this, to subtle things the witnesses write off, like length of F%$#ing sideburns, conditions witnesses to invest their time, energy and mental power into nonsense that poisons them from the inside out. Behind a facade cult smile.
  
  
  
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  OneEyedJoe

  Based on the rampant claims of things like chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalga, lower back problems, hives, chronic pain, etc, etc. I think there's got to be something tremendously unhealthy about the lifestyle. There seems to be a disproportionately great number of psychologically influenced conditions among JWs. At least in my area, but it seems that this isn't limited to one place based on what I've read on the forum.

  Adding in things like excessive drinking, overeating, etc that people also do when dealing with mental stress and you start to see why so many JWs have things like gout, diabetes, and heart problems too. All likely caused by either the "can never do enough" lifestyle or repressing inner thoughts/doubts.
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  millie210

  I agree OneEyedJoe and dont forget all the anti anxiety meds. One elder told me that over 80% of the pubs were taking them. This included all the elders wives and over half the elders.
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  sparrowdown

  The worst part about this damage is you while you are there trying to please everyone but yourself you don't realize you are damaged. That realization comes once you are looking back from a safe distance. Then the further away you get, the horror of what was going on dawns on you more and more.

  Sort of like the light getting brighter and brighter until one day you wake the hell up..... why does that sound familiar.
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  sparrowdown

  Stuck, I think you will find that if you check chapter one of your You're Doing Everything Wrong book, you'll find that just asking this question you are doing something wrong.