by NY23brown 25 Replies latest jw friends
"It just scares me to think how family members are willing to try to destroy our family just to please themselves. ..."
They aren't doing this to please themselves; they're doing it to please the Watchtower Corporation, which is even scarier...
I hope that you find the answers you need by perusing this website. It's helped numerous people and I think it will help you - and WELCOME!!
Zid
Thank you all for the advice...this is giving me kind of a new perspective on some recent behavior, and why he may be acting this way. This has been very frustrating to me!
This is very common. I'll copy & paste a reply to another poster 10 minutes ago.
"It sounds like she still thinks the bOrg is, or might be, god's mouthpiece. If that is the case, try and fix it."
As long as there is a chance that he thinks the WT might be god's channel, he could jump back into the cult if someone, or something, pushes the right buttons.
I believe you are correct on that.
I think he just wants to go back & to get you in the religion, so that you will get in "subjection" to him!!
For some guys, that's the only doctrine they like.
I've seen some guys get their wives into the religion, then later he leaves the religion again but the wife and kids too.
I feel your pain, honey. I am married to a JW and I will never join. My great benefit is that we have no children together and that I researched this religion thoroughly before marrying him.
Christmas is the worst time of year. The songs, the music, the symbols...all are seen as a pagan assault by a Jehovah's Witness. How can you possibly creep around his wishes if you don't even have a clear idea what will set him off? Better not to even try.
The best outcome I can imagine is to coach your husband through some self-reflection to consider what he truly believes and wants for his life. Now is not the time of year to bring it up. Counselling might help, but perhaps it will have to be just for yourself for now. Your own personal insights will help you deal with what you have at home.
Yea unfortunately this is not giving me a warm feeling. He's really going through some guilting right now and it sounds like it's working. I think you need to put it on the table because it's putting your family in a very uncomfortable position. The kids are next. Once they decide to pass over you they will only deal with the spiritual head, (Your husband), and you are simply dismissed. Your opinion won't matter. They will get between you and your own children.
He has not been to KH in over 20 years. He doesn't practice their religion. He votes, belongs to a union at work, we have an American flag on our porch (gasp) and he has celebrated many holidays over the years. We've known each other for years, long before getting married. I made my feelings known that I would NEVER become part of that religion. He himself calls them a cult. His family has never been happy that we were dating (because of my non-JW status), but we were always friendly to each other. It wasn't until children came along that I noticed a change in THEM, especially after I wouldn't tolerate them hitting and yelling at our daughter.
I do believe he feels torn; however, it is incredibly unfair of him to want it both ways...just to appease his mother's wishes of having him be with her in "paradise" and blame me for his problems.
Coincidentally, when his very non-JW grandmother died a couple of years ago, his mother had a very-JW oriented service at the funeral home, including speakers from the KH and claims that "gram" was in the process of joining the Kingdom Hall. This lady celebrated Christmas, birthdays, Easter, the works, and never would have wanted that! But in his mother's eyes, she was going to make her mom part of her "fairy tale". The deceased sister's were very unhappy with how her service went. All the more reason, I feel she is behind his misguided feelings now...pressure to become part of her fairy tale life.
For you I hope its a phase, but his family will be relentless, they are working for God in their eyes. Is this the 1st year he didn't buy gifts?
Yes.
