I'm really sorry
Throwing this out there...
by NY23brown 25 Replies latest jw friends
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nugget
I would like to point out that silent treatment is bullying and no one deserves such behaviour it is immature and controlling. At the end of the day he has a wife and children and his first loyalty should be to all of you that is what a family unit is and does.
You should be a partnership working together for the good of the children not as you are tip toeing around him, keeping him happy, worrying about whether something you do will cause him to behave badly. That is part of abuse and his behaviour is unfair to all of you. You cannot afford for this to be allowed to continue. He is responsible for his own behaviour and his own moods when he is intolerant that is not your fault. Liking the in laws is not essential for a good relationship.
I would ask him to explain why he has not been involved in the holiday planning and ask him to explain his behaviour. I would also insist on counselling and if he will not go as a couple go on your own. If he insists you are the bad person in all of this then suggest that a counsellor should help you to see a way to address your weaknesses and that it would help for him to go to explain his perspective on the matter.
Your children are the most important people in all of this and if your husband can't see this then there is something seriously wrong.
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Black Sheep
One of the triggers for returning is children.
The WT teaches that children of non-believers will be killed at Armageddon ..... Soon.
Right now, that includes his kids.
If he rejoins the kids will be protected until they are old enough to be baptised themselves. Once they are old enough, Dad's membership isn't enough and god will kill them anyway.
Worldlies, that's you, are led astray by Satan the Devil and will follow Satan to destruction, so if you convince the kids not to join his church, whammo, Armageddon arrives and they ket killed along with the the other 7 billion non-Jehovah's Witnesses.
You need to find a way to get him to investigate the church for truthfulness. You can't do it for him. You can't tell him what is wrong with it, because you will just ID yourself as the enemy. All you can do is encourage him to find out for himself.
http://www.amazon.com/Teach-Your-Child-How-Think/dp/0140238301
This is a non-religious book that he shouldn't be able to find any reasonable objection to. At least read the introduction.
Chris
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Aussie Oz
Could be many things going on in his mind at that age of his life...mid life crises, his mother, depression, mortality, religion...
From the JW angle i believe this is what happens when teenagers leave the religion but dont really know why.
I mean, they know they want to be 'normal' and all that but have never looked into why that decision was a good one. With a head still full of Watchtower whispers and no real idea just why they cannot be gods people etc, they are ripe to go back when things get rough, guilt trips are laid or world events take some dramatic turn.
From a life crises point of veiw, its a time of deep personal confusion over who we are, why we are doing what we are doing, what we believe and what we want. Depression and gloominess are part of the symptom of the inner turmoil. Chances are he doesn't even understand it either.
But, whatever it is, you guys need to get some real communication going...not demands, not telling, but sharing feelings about your lives and directions
and if the gloom doen't shift, get some help.
oz
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wha happened?
I was looking over the conversation. And my opinion is that he already made a decision, but hasn't broken it to the family
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etna
If he has been out for 20 years and votes and calls them a cult, he knows what they are like. Another way to go about things is maybe respecting their (your MIL and FIL) view. But show or ask your husband that they should respect your view also. Then they will seem like the bad guys and not you. Just my 2 cents worth. Hope it goes well for you and your family.
Etna