Just another couple of things. Remember Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky? He knew how far to go and even though oral sex is grounds for divorce (i.e. porneia) I think not having intercourse saved face for Hillary and it didn't seem a total betrayal somehow. Plus you avoid pregnancy and all those issues.
The second thing is a true situation that happened. A teenager came up pregnant and she and her boyfriend claimed they never had sex. I think they checked and saw that she was still a virgin, and she was. The elders had to keep interviewing them in detail, though, until they admitted that they did fool around and climax was achieved. Apparently there was "no penetration" but seiminal fluid in the vacinity of the vagina still ended up getting the girl pregnant. Both were promptly disfellowshipped.
I posted elsewhere, of course, where at one time, actually up until about 1972, homosexuality was not grounds for divorce, nor bestiality. That was changed later and rightly so. But it underscores even where there is no overt act, the pain of the betrayal is just as bad. You know your mate is in love with someone else and has betrayed you emotionally though not spiritually. The pain and hurt are still there. My heart really goes out to those innocent parties. Jehovah knows the heart though and so while they might get away with it in the congregation, they won't on Judgment Day.
Another case that seems relevant is a couple I knew where the wife wanted to divorce her husband, so she went out and committed adultery to get a legal divorce. But he didn't want a divorce. He was the innocent partner and it is up to the innocent partner to forgve the infidelity. But the wife, being in the truth a long time, just figured she'd commit adultery, be disfellowshipped for a year or two, then get back in and marry someone else, which she did. So that raises the question as to wether the grounds for divorce were actually met. There was adultery involved, but the innocent party was forgiving.
Furhter, I'm not asolutely sure, but if a non-believer divorces his believing mate and doesn't remarry or otherwise commit adultery, I'm not sure if the congregation considers her free to remarry in the congregation.
One more case of trivia regarding divorce was the case of a brother who had been married for like 30 years. He was older. But at some point it was discovered the woman he married and who had been his wife all those years was not legally divorced from her previous husband. When the elders found out, of course, the brother had to move out until she got a legal divorce. But the wife decided she didn't want to do that, apparently she wasn't happy with him and was glad to be free. I find it ironic he had been living in fornication all that time and didn't really know it.
LS
