My intro, hi!

DonutZ!

I'm new here, my name is Kevin and I've been a jw all my life but lately I've been researching and realized that this religion isn't the 'truth'. I got baptized in April of 09 when I was 16 and when I turned 17 I met another jw girl and we fell in love and had a lot of sex, also when I turned 17 I was introduced to my first gaming system and played call of duty and fallout 3. I really just want to be a normal young adult. The elders found out about me and my now-wife a week ago because my wife decided to confess everything (she also cheated on me a week before we got married wtf? ) Anyways, this certain elder hacked my wifes Facebook and went through all her messages and then wrote on her wall the time of her judicial meeting thing. Are elders allowed to hack facebook profiles of members or what? Cuz that is some serious invasion of privacy.

talesin

I believe that if she reports it to F/B,,, they will go after the hacker.

tal

talesin

oh, and welcome to the forum! :))

cedars

Hi DonutZ

Thanks for telling your story. Sorry to hear you've had a rough time, and hope things are ok with your wife at present? It sounds like you guys have been through the mill.

If you're looking for options on the judicial meeting hearing, your wife could refuse to attend and tell the elders she is pursuing legal options because her facebook account was hacked to obtain information. The elders will be forced to refer to the branch for advice, which may at least buy you some time, or maybe even lead to them backing off entirely. It's worth a try.

Cedars

Flicka

Welcome

Flicka

DonutZ!

Talesin- I'll give that a try thanks! Cedars- I'll try that too, and I know I'll get disfellowshipped eventually, I'll miss my mom though, any help on how to cope with that?

cedars

DonutZ - yes, like I said it's worth a try. I was actually brushing up on the latest elders manual only last night, and the elders ALWAYS have to refer to the branch if there is even a whiff of legal action being taken. If they mess you around and try to press ahead anyway, I would seriously consider hiring a lawyer to scare them off. THEY were wrong to hack your account, and I've never heard of elders being so brazen before.

On the disfellowshipping side, all I can say is try to postpone it as long as possible if you want to remain in contact with your Mum. Personally, I'm still only classed as "inactive" because I need to maintain contact with family. However, there are some things you can do now...

Talk to your Mum, tell her that you've realised that it isn't the truth, and that it's only a matter of time before you're disfellowshipped or disassociate yourself. Explain to her that, when that time comes, she will have a decision to make as to whether she remains a part of your life. Tell her that once you leave, you won't be coming back. Any shunning will NOT be for your benefit (to help you see the error of your ways) because you no longer believe it's the truth. Tell her to think about it and get back to you, and tell her to try not to be influenced too much by what the Society says. In any case, the latest elders manual doesn't list any real sanctions for the shunning of relatives. Only if a family head was failing to shun his children would he be refused privileges, but I can't see any real sanctions being taken against your Mum. The important thing is to get her on your side in advance of any action being taken.
Write a letter of disassociation leaving the date blank. This will give you confidence in your dealings with the elders, because if they continue to pursue you despite threats of legal action, you can use the "nuclear option" and hand in your letter without having to deal with them in a judicial hearing. This move should only be considered as a last resort, but by having the letter ready you will have some peace of mind in knowing that there is only so much the elders will be able to do.
If your Mum tells you that she WOULD shun you if you were disfellowshipped, try not to judge her for it. She is only doing what she thinks is the right thing, and acting under the influence of a cult. Prepare a letter or "youtube" style video that you can hide in her house, so that if you are ever disfellowshipped you can tell her where it is and she can watch it. The video or letter should be candid and sincere, and it will allow you to express your reasons for leaving and appeal to her one last time to reconsider shunning you.

Those are my suggestions. Hope they help! PM me if you need any more advice.

Cedars

3rdgen

Welcome DonutZ, Let the elders know in no uncertain terms that you will see them in court. Do this in writing with a copy to each Elder. Let them know that they will be sued individually not as a group.The elders manual sugests they drop the JC in the case of a lawsuit. Your civil rights have been violated. There may even be a criminal case here as well.

diamondiiz

Since you're really just a kid, you should really think hard about your future. Where does your wife stand on the organization? Do your research and you'll see that you are a part of a cult which destroys families and people on many levels. Try to get some sort of education and find friends outside of the circle of JW drones who will leave you a minute you're df! If your wife believes wts is the truth but doesn't mind breaking rules, you will most likely have problems with her down the road. Being this young, you really have to think hard about your future because the decisions you make now will affect the rest of your real life within or outside of the wts and with or without your wife. Nothing is certain in life, but when you learn you've been duped by a cult and are being held hostage like you may be, you have to think carefully on your next move. Don't make haste decisions and don't speak your doubts to jw "friends." Do your full research. You know your family and how they will treat you if you leave or how they will react if you tell them anything against wts but know your facts if your ever bring up anything and have proof to back up your position. You somewhat know your wife and what she may or may not think of the wts so tread carefully.

As for F/B account. I don't understand how an elder would "hack" in unless she had a super easy password and even then... Posting a judicial meeting on FB is another thing an elder wouldn't likely do since they still have to follow formal procedures. Why would your wife tell them everything? If it were over 3 years ago, the elders book allows for past sins to be forgiven if they happened more than couple years ago and haven't occurred since but I guess you don't fall in that category.

DonutZ!

3rdgen- What do you mean "in no uncertain terms"?

My intro, hi!

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