by finally awake 35 Replies latest members private
I go back and forth within myself on this one. Actually, I don't know if I was DF'ed in absentia.
It really depends on if you want a clean break or if you want to make them work for it. Let it go and move on, or string them along...
Since you really have "nothing" to lose, I'd say go for it. Make the clean break, move on with the rest of your lives. Just take some of the advice in that thread that was posted and make sure you cover your ass legally.
If I were in your position I would probable DA. We have faded due to family circumstances but some of our family shun us anyway.
I DA'd because there was an immediate benefit for me to do so. If there is no tangible benefit then don't waste the effort. Just tell them to f*ck off if they phone or come to the door. The end result will be the same.
W
I never gave them the control. I walked away and they can take DA, DF, whatever, and kiss my ass. It means nothing to me.
Your mielage will vary. Do what is in your heart.
You need to DA so that the Elders can warn their fellow cult members not to talk to you.
You wouldn't want to accidentally say something to one of the R&F that might weaken their faith in the bOrg now, would you?
They must be protected from you. Display the Apostate flag so that they know to keep their distance and/or turn their brains off when you speak.
Chris
Black Sheep, where do I obtain this "Apostaflag". The Stoops catalog doesn't seem to carry it - LOL
I agree with Finally-Free. I DA myseld for my personal reason because it made me feel better not because of their authority or anything like that. If it will make you feel better, then go ahead and DA yourself, otherwise wait until they contact you and then you can simple tell them to stick their cult where the light don't shine in any colorful wording you can imagine and that will do the trick.
On another thought, the only thing I would have done differently if I were to DA myself again, I would have been open with the dubs I've known how wts misquotes, lies and decieves so that when I did DA myself more dubs would have had some seeds planted. Do what feels good to you and don't look back since the false friends will just fade into past and you will view them as stranger that you never met with a bonus these assholes will never ever call on your house again.
I think Black Sheep is being sarcastic . . .
Terms like DF or DA belong to them . . . the very fact that we think in those terms displays the mental control they still exert IMO. Categorising you is more important to them than it is to you. Having them mind their own business is frustrating for them . . . and them acting in absentia is nothing more than there own little in-house ritual which is probably less satisfying for them. I wanted them to feel as small and insignificant to me as possible.
I never gave them the control. I walked away and they can take DA, DF, whatever, and kiss my ass. It means nothing to me. . . . Shamus
I prefer the same enigmatic approach. It has the added advantage that they struggle to label you, and have no information that they can wave around for their own purposes. Who knows the future? . . . the less they have to go on . . . the more future developments are in your control.
But as others have said . . . it's an individual thing. Whatever sets you on the way to a better future is best for you.
One of my extended family thinks it's a hypocritical not to df or da. I disagree. They just wanted it over and to move on. That's OK, they had a big family to support them. I don't. I also do not feel they get the right to have any control in my life . I live in a small religious community and being kicked out of your church carries weight around here, even if it 's Jw's. I realize that even among other churches they do ask you to resign if you change religions,- at least I was told this years ago by some Baptists. However, resigning and DA and DF are not the same thing. They don't announce that I know of nor do most shun. Some churches around here, church of Christ or some of the Pentecostals , 7th day adventists, do excommunicate like jws do. Avoid them like a plague.
I will leave on my terms- not theirs.
I vote shamus and black-sheep for the best answers.
Violia, I got that "hypocrite" line from my ex. Apparently, it's "sitting on the fence" if I don't DA or I don't let admit to some wrongdoing and "allow myself to be DF'ed". I personally think it's simply giving them the finger and not playing by their rules. I told him and his wife that I refuse to DA at this time and I won't allow myself to be DF'ed by my own hand. I'm happy just walking away at this point.
