Today I was told I've been reported to authorities for elder abuse! (page 2)

Black Sheep

Nobody owes a parent that much.

I wish I had some good advice for you, but all I can offer is a hug.

((((3rdgen))))

Chris

Dear FHN, Roski, and BlackSheep, Thanks you for your kind words, I feel a little better-thanks to you and the other posters. Hubby heard me sobbing and comforted me too. It's now 1:00AM and I must shut down for tonight. Tomorrow I have a doctor appt but later I hope to visit here some more. You are kinder, and closer to me than any of my family except hubby and daughter. I wish I could hug you all. Good Night

nugget

When people suffer from dimentia then these sort of paranoid delusions are common. As you didn't embezzle her money and made yourselves destitute caring for her needs then the claim is baseless. You have bank records supporting your payments. They need to determine where her payments went and who had access to the funds. Really if she was in a care facility then they should know. If there was paperwork then they should have let you know.

It sounds like the authorities have lost the plot and are trying to find an easy out.

Was your mother at your home no she wasn't.

I would make a clear diary of events and payments including which facility she was in and when. If you have any supporting documentation then get it together including bank statements so that you are prepared. It is natural to feel stressed but this will pass. Lazy officials who don't check the facts before sending out trash are a blight.

You have done more than most would it is sad your mother can't appreciate your Sacrifices.

Cagefighter

I talk a lot about realizing what other people think is not important. I hate to hear you are going through all of this but there is something good that can come out of this.

First, I would talk to an attorney today. I am not sure if you have been receiving and cashing your Mom's social security checks while she is in these homes. If so, you need to get that worked out ASAP. It is possible you may have done something illegal or incorrect, with out realizing it. From what you said it sounds like your Mom got denied for medicare based on the assumption that she was living at home and receiving her benefit. One can't be in long term facility and at home. These nursing homes get stiffed all the time when relatives dump patients and don't follow through with medicare to make sure they get their benefit.

Moving on, just make sure you are handling your biz and don't waste energy defending yourself to others. You will experience a freedom that is not found in the cult. It is hard, but liberating. You have enough to deal with, with out worrying about the judgement of people that want to believe what they want to believe about you and your husband.

-Cage

Aussie Oz

Oh dear, that is bloody awful.

Please get some some legal advice.

Hope you feel better when you wake up...

Oz

still thinking

3rdgen...that is truly heartbreaking. I understand the bond you have with your mother even though things changed as you both got older.

I have no useful advice for you...just a cyber shoulder to cry on...hugs to you luv...things will work out in the end. Like trans said...one day at a time.

Listener

Oh dear, this is all so tough on you. Please do seek the help of the authorities.

It sounds to me like she hates the current home she is in because she is on a hunger strike and the home wants to get rid of her because she'll die without any food. If they send you the bill and you can't pay up then they probably have an excuse to kick her out and can turn around and say that you didn't owe them any money in the first place. As long as the problem is off their hands. If she stays in the home and dies from lack of food it would be very difficult for the home regarding responsibilities.

truthseeker1969

Hi there, this is truthseeker1969 wife, I am a social worker who works with the state of florida and in nursing homes and long term care homes.

What truly concerns me is the nursing facility accussing you of essentially fraud and if you have this in writing then this will be something you can use to defend yourself in any court. Even if they had conclusive evidence that any type of fraud had been committed they are never under any circumstances invited to state such.

It seems that the facilities your Mother was in are not following the rule of law when it comes to communication and following the HIPPA requirements. At no time is e-mail to be used to forward medical or welfare information to anyone since it is never guaranteed that the person reading it is the person to whom it was intended.

You said that you were told that you owed them $24000.00 for care for four months. Unless you signed a form stating that you would be lieable for all the incurred bills there is nothing that can be done to recover this from you and indeed again they had no right telling you that you should pay it.

There seems to have been a number of violations if your Mothers riights and yours and I would advise you to contact the states ombudsman in your state the number to which is posted clearly in the facility. They will work with you and on your behalf to correct what has been done and work at finding suitable state facilities that your mother can go to.

Just as a side note, they should have taken your mothers pension or monies when she was first admitted which is a matter of course so you may be able to recover any money you paid out.

Just messsage the hubby and I will try and help whatever way i can.

best wishes

the-illuminator81

I hope you get through.

Honesty

That email you received from the assisted living place sounds fishy.

Why didn't they send you a registered letter with a bill included?

Today I was told I've been reported to authorities for elder abuse!

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