Today I was told I've been reported to authorities for elder abuse!

by 3rdgen 28 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Morbidzbaby

  I agree, Honesty... Something of that magnitude should have been stated in a certified letter with a copy of the bill for services rendered...possibly even a breakdown of what is being paid for. It doesn't seem right to me.

  3rdgen, I worked in a nursing home with residents suffering from dementia and I KNOW how they can be. They honestly think YOU did something you are completely innocent of. I had one resident accuse me and one of the nurses of throwing her medication on the floor, kicking it under the bed, and laughing in her face! She also accused me of withholding food from her...I brought her breakfast, got her tray set up, made sure she was awake and sitting up, pulled the table over to her, and she started eating. I came back a few minutes later, she was still eating. 10 minutes went by, and I went in and she was laying down. I asked if she was all done and she said she was full. I took her tray away. Half hour later, she's down at the nurses station raising holy hell because I never brought her breakfast! She even called her daughter in the middle of the night to say we were all starving her (she was a big woman...no way she was starving lol). But this is the kind of thing that goes on. Chances are good your mom actually THINKS you stole from her...and it's not a reflection on you or anything you did or said...it's dementia. Unfortunately, she's telling other people and instead of those people realizing she's not all there and that not everything she says can be trusted, they're being quick to jump on you and assume the worst.

  I'm really sorry you're having to deal with all of this. The letter from Social Security should show the authorities that they cut her benefits because she was reported as "living at home" when she wasn't. Somewhere along the line, something got screwed up. That right there is enough to show you didn't steal or embezzle anything because there wasn't anything to steal or embezzle! I don't know if the crackpot cult will come into play when it comes to telling them what happened to her assets, but it might be worth a try. Hell, if you and your husband WERE stealing and embezzling, you'd think you'd be in a better financial situation... They will see all of this and you will be exhonerated...IF this isn't just some scheme by the nursing home to get you to pay them money they've already been paid...for you to only get an email about this...I dunno, it really smells rotten to me. It violates HIPAA, for one thing... You should make sure you save it because whoever sent that is subject to a hefty fine for that. Things like that aren't done through email or over the phone. That's something that should be sent certified/registered OR done in person so that they KNOW it's you they are talking to. Please keep all of this in mind as you go through this. And keep your chin up. We're all here for you!

  (((((3rdgen)))))
• 

  yourmomma

  yeah, that email sounds very fishy. that is not how normal people do business, and the "turning you into the authorties" makes no sense, for what? not paying the $24,000 bill that they just told you about? sounds like someone is trying to scam or scare you.
• 

  trueblue

  3rdgen, Sorry to hear about your experience and can imagine what you are going through... Had simular expeirences myself being the only one that was doing good for my Mother and everyone against me, accusing me of elderly abuse and I tried and tried to get an attorney to help, draining me because no one would help, attorney's would not even call me back to see if I have any money, just wasting my time, even thought about commiting myself to a mental institution, all the lies and alligations pretty hard to deal with, makes you just want to break down and just cry because you will never even get an apollogy, they are just a bunch of ruthless bastards trying to squeeze some money out of the government or anyone they can, as for me I finally realized that there nothing they can do with alligations and the report of abuse is made so that I can not have the responsibillty of taking care of my elderly Mother, someone wants me out of the way so they can have the money, it really hurts but I had no other choice but to abandon my Mother, sent a certified letter to the rest home and a copy to the DHS, I heard a rumor that I can not just leave with out telling some one so that is what I did by sending the certified letter stating I have not the time for the back stabbings so you will have to find another contact, do not contact me because I will just ignore you.

  It has been about 3 months now and haven't heard a thing even telemarketers quit leaving messages, makes a person wonder if there was a connection??? but any way it does really hurt to loose my Mother, and I know that I did the best I could and did nothing wrong. I did call my Mother Christmas Day, and New years Day, but it appears I can not go near my Mother again... I told Mother that I will see her on the other side...

  Best Wishes, Trueblue
• 

  3rdgen

  Hello friends, Just have time for a quick update before I have to get ready to leave to the Doc. (we live 40 min. away) Early this morn. moms SIL, an extremely pious-sneer left a message berating us for abandoning my mother etc etc. She stated SHE has been in the hospital herself (implying health issues are no excuse for dereliction of duty.)How does she know I've been in the hospital? You are the only people I've told. She was married to one of moms deceased brothers. Over the years, THEY borrowed over a HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS from mom. They would borrow 50,000.00 then when they paid it back They would rollit over into a new loan of 50,000.00. This happened at least 3 times that I know of. Then her son (my Elder cousin) started doing the same thing. There was scarcely any paperwork and whether or not they completely paid her back is murky. When Hubby asked them over3 years ago to pay her back because we were broke paying her expenses, they sent ANGRY letters denying any debt. This is when the entire JW family began shunning us. Obviously, there inteny is to deny and counter alledge. It has worked wellfor them and RUINED my reputation.

  There is more regarding her loans and gifts to other family members and the WT$ but that is another thread My destitute mother was once a multi millionare. The Borg cleaned her out and has left a widow who was baptized along side of THE Max Larson in 1937. (75 years of slaving) To ROT and are blaming me. NIce huh? Never my daughter and I lost our entire inheritance.
• 

  trueblue

  I don't know 3rdgen, afraid to give out any legal advise, but I think if I were you I would go to the DHS Office in person and tell them that you heard you were reported for elderly abuse and would like to talk to clear things up... They will not tell you who made the allegations, if you were reprted, and trust me you don't want to know, let the DHS figure it out... it could be a number of things, some one at the rest home afraid of loosing their job, the rest home just wants to milk the government, who knows maybe even J dub trying to sell mag.s...

  Stay away from everyone especially JW's for awhile any ways...
• 

  mind blown

  Many of these places are under handed.

  My mom was moved from a county hospital to a a private facility becaue the county hospital lacked beds and told me I could pick her up the next day. The private facility wouldn't release her when I went to pick her up and tried to take full custody of my mother through trying to pull an internal court hearing. They wanted to keep her because they knew they could charge medicare and keep my moms money. They lied and said I tried to embezzle money too!

  I had to get an attorney. Didn't cost a whole lot either. Anyway, I proved that they were incorrect in their accusations. The court released my mother to me, in turn found a new home( faciity) because she too has dementia. Those bastards still tried to charge me. I told them I didn't give them my permission for my mother to there and neither did my mother sign or give her permission to keep her there and if they were going to charge for the days she was there they're going to have to take it from her medicare.....etc....

  Yes, it sounds like they're trying to pull a fast one on you. ombudsman in your state as truthseeker states is a good way to go.

  These places count on your ignorance to pull fraud and steal money from the innocent......
• 

  trueblue

  mind blown said... Yes, it sounds like they're trying to pull a fast one on you. ombudsman in your state as truthseeker states is a good way to go.

  LOL, Ya that sounds like the best bet...

  Take Care
• 

  Violia

  I went through something related and this I can tell you- always sign over her Social security check to the nursing home so you will have no further involvement in it. That way if anyone is embezzling, it won't be you. By this I mean relinquish power of atty to Nursing home so they will be handling her money. When she dies they will give you or whoever is designated the remaining amount. Yes NH are corrupt but you have bank records etc. Also it is unlikely they would allow a bill that size to mount up before they called you. It would not be an email, it would be a call from the DON ( director of nurses or the Admin.) This does not mean you are cutting ties with her, it means you are cutting financial ties. It will give you a good nights sleep.

  You will have bank records and SS has records. I'd start putting them together and contact an atty or maybe adult protective services for advice.

  Money always brings out folks true personality .

  one question, does she still own a home in the community? sorry I may have missed this. if there is any money in excess of what it costs for the nursing home here is what happens. You must pay down almost every cent she has and when you hit Medicaid level then she (You) can apply for this for her or the NH will. She must pay the NH whatever the going rate is until all her money is exhausted. She is allowed to have a home in the community.
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  3rdgen

  Hello again friends, Further update: Hubby wrote a terse e-mail using some of the helpful phrases and info you provided . Guess what? It WORKED!. It appears to be a scam. They backed off after they were informed of several State and federal laws they had broken. He let them know we will transfer mom out of their facility AND persue our legal remedies against them. Hubby received an e-mail saying There must be a "miscommunication" and not to worry. Good Grief! I nearly had a breakdown .

  Indeed money brings out peoples TRUE colors. My therapist wants to see me FREE of charge for a while bc she knows the amount of stress that has been nonstop for almost 15 years. She is so happy I have left the cult but thinks I'm too fragile to handle all that has/is going on. I assured her that leaving the cult has actually been the BEST thing that has happened in years. She answered,"you are smart". This "worldly" woman is sacrificing her time(which, of course, is money) on me. OTOH, my own family and the WT$ doesn't care enough to even pay their debt much less help out bc of the past generous gifts they received. Who is the "evil slave"? The facts speak for themselves.