Glad you're okay, I thought that you'd been caught reading CoC or something. Hope that you find a way out that you can cope with..
i am a regular pioneer in my cong reading crisis of conscience.here goes...
by MsGrowingGirl20 206 Replies latest jw friends
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MsGrowingGirl20
i'm going to write down my questions to be answered on both sides...pros and cons ...that'll straighten out my head!!!!
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flipper
MSGROWING GIRL- Nice to see you back here ! I'm glad to see you are researching things still. Also if you get a chance take a look at Steve Hassan's two books " Combatting Cult Mind Control " & " Releasing the Bonds- Empowering People to Think for Themselves " . These two books helped me immensely after I stopped attending over 8 years ago. It helped me to see some of the tactics that were used to control and manipulate my mind while I was attending as an active JW . Just remember, we are here for you, O.K. ? - if you ever need anything or help in reasoning on how to get through some tricky situations . Hang in there my friend you're doing fine. We're with you
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MrMonroe
MsGrowingGirl, my wife and I left in 2008 after reading CoC. We had been very unhappy in our congregation for so long and Ray's book explained so much of what was wrong. I would never have left the JWs because I was convinced they were "God's organization" and if I cut myself off from it I could die at Armageddon. Ray's book showed me the JWs have no greater claim to being "God's organization" than any other religion (and why would God need to have an organization???? Does the WTS really reflect God's qualities??? Would he really want those control freaks to be leading all humans in a new system???)
I read so much more, and discovered much more, abut the JWs after I left. How strange is that? Part of what I discovered was that even Armageddon -- that thing that had kept me in fear for so long (like hellfire for Catholics!) was just a construct of Joseph Rutherford, a scene painted by arbitrarily sticking together unrelated bits of Revelation, Joel, Ezekiel etc. The blood ban suddenly made no sense. Nor did the ban on birthday celebrations.
You obviously enjoy reading, so it may be worthwhile to read Don Cameron's Captives of a Concept, a title drawn of course from Ray's books. Its value is putting on clear display the concepts the WTS uses to keep members in line. The very clever language and argumentation that stop JWs from looking outside their cage.
One more thing: if you get a chance to watch the DVD of The Village, with William Hurt, do so. A lot of things in that will click.
All the best. You are still young, you have a life ahead of you. I wasted 22 years of my life in that religion. I'll be honest and say there were some benefits (I cleaned up my life, met my wife) but the costs -- the control of my life by a manipulative religion -- were too high. My wife was born-in and feels very cheated and angry about having what should have been the best years of her life in her youth taken from her.
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cyberjesus
mgg20.... just a hint... if you dont believe in their lies....... you could continue being a pioneer if you want to..... and you dont have to put 90 hours anymore... you do 90 minutes and put an h instead of an m.... it makes no difference....
or even 90 seconds....
You can even say 200 hours..... it makes no difference all your hard work and they are gonna glimpse at the number if its over 90 its gonna take less than a second for them to think of you ... however if they see less than 60 ... they are gonna schedule a meeting with you due to your weakness..
how about that
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MrFreeze
I think you were in the same boat as me.
I was a regular pioneer/ministerial servant. My heart and my head was no longer into the organization anymore after finding out the truth. I wanted a way out. I'm not sure what your situation is at home but one day I told the elders I didn't want to be a pioneer anymore. I told them I couldn't get my hours because I was working full time. They didn't like that. They tried to tell me to keep trying anyway. We talked for about 10 minutes and then I told them I wasn't sure I wanted to be a MS anymore. They demanded to know exactly why. They kept pressing me. Eventually I told them what I felt about the organization and eventually it came down to me telling them I wasn't coming back to the meetings anymore.
I was never disfellowshipped but they tried meeting with me several times, more than likely to feel me out to see if they should take that step. They did visit me quite a few times but I never officially met with them in the backroom.
I was still living at home with my mom and stepdad. They are both true believers. After a few months they told me I had to move out.
It was definitely tough getting out, but I do not regret it for a minute.
If you decide you want to leave, I would suggest trying to fade. Try to find a reasonable excuse to stop pioneering. When you stop pioneering, they will not use you for demonstrations like they were, I'm sure. If you aren't living at home with the parents anymore, try to cut meetings out. Try to get some good excuses together for when you get the normal "we missed you at the meeting today" comments from friends.
If you are working, or in school see if you can try to develop a network of friends outside of the organization to help you in your effort to exit.
I wish you luck in your efforts to exit.
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MsGrowingGirl20
thank you very much everyone....this is so unbelievable...lord av mercy! itt's torture going to meetings now
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Alfred
MsGrowingGirl... WELCOME BACK!!! we were worried about you...
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MsGrowingGirl20
i just want outtttttttttt.............i really want to leave.......ii mean even though i'm still in, after learning so much, i do feel relieved,more free---i don't let their little craziness affect me as though God was angry with me.i'm going to colllege and most likely i'm coming off the pioneer's list in august...i just want to leave mainly because of the fact that this religion is sooo destructive....hmmmm
i just want outtttttttttttttttt......but there's no leaving, is there?
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Alfred
there's no easy way to leave... you just have to do it and get it over with... that's just my opinion