by Alive! 48 Replies latest jw experiences
Welcome!
Your story is not unusual in the least. Many, many folks find the "love" of the "friends" is neither lovely nor friendly. Not that they are bad people in any sense, just simply because no one can be truly worthwhile to call a "friend", when they cannot even be their real selves. It is quite painful to learn, especially later in life. Keep in mind, we were not our real selves either while we were "in".
Find your real self first, and real friends will follow.
d4g
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Alive! - "...the hectic, forced JW dinner parties and social occasions gave no real comfort."
Your story (and this bit in particular) reminded me of something very profound that Dogpatch (of Freeminds) once wrote...
...that for a church to be successful, it had to (among other things) meet the primal human needs of its membership.
It struck a real chord in me as I grasped the fundamental truth of the statement...
...and realized immediately after that (for the most part) the WTS / JW congregations - by their structure and ideology - are simply unable to accomplish this.
A question.
How many of you have heard brothers and sisters talk about putting their songbook in the mailbox of a desirable property to "bag" it for the new system.
i have experienced hearing this in Europe and the other side of the world.
They were half joking. No- one left a songbook. But... These are their Christian thoughts????
The first time I heard this out on ministry I felt sick.
The last time was also my last time on ministry.... About 2-3 years ago?
A highly regarded, influential and popular family moved into our congregation.
Out on midweek ministry, the eldest son proposed leaving his songbook in a spectacular coastal property - his father chortled. I said I thought it was disgusting and walked away.
Last time on ministry. Another nail in the coffin. I knew I was done for!! LOL.
I never heard the "songbook in the mailbox" thing, but I heard plenty calling "dibs" after Armageddon on some of the nicer waterfront homes in our territory.
One moment they are condemning the householder for being out "slaving" for their materialistic lifestyle, rather than being home to hear the "life saving message of JW's ". Then in the next breath, lay claim to the householders home after he's killed during Armageddon.
There were a number of home builders in our Congregation who would stand on the platform condemning the worlds materialism yet they depended upon those very people to purchase the luxury homes they had up for sale.
My eyes were constantly rolling, toward the end of my days as a JW.
I never heard the "songbook in the mailbox" thing, but I heard plenty calling "dibs" after Armageddon on some of the nicer waterfront homes in our territory.
Over the past 48 hours I can sense that I'm letting "stuff" that was really upsetting me over the years take on real meaning.
Be patient with yourself ALIVE...you are grieving in a sense and you'll have to go through all the stages of grief before you're out of the woods.
They say when you suffer a loss or are undergoing a big life change, you should allow one month of grieving time for every year you were involved in the (activity/relationship/job) you are grieving the loss of.
Alive! Hello and welcome. I'm so glad you posted on here. One thing is certain, this family can relate to what you are going through. When the "truth" starts unravelling it can be daunting, confusing, hurtful.
That Jw family comes with conditions. As you draw further and further away so will they. You and hubby have got to start branching out and finding new people to hang out with. Join a tennis / bowling club of some sort, get to know those people and create new connections. Not easy, but it will be worth it.
