by weskerbouts 36 Replies latest jw experiences
I am considering, with a grain of salt, much of what the lot of you recommendeded.
OK that's your perogative but there is a huge amount of combined experience here so don't dismiss the advice too quickly. Keep reading and questioning.
I do wish to pursue an education and move on--I have hope that I may.
I hope you achieve this goal. Make it your priority.
This is how i see it: You confessed because it was bothering you. You have an 'addiction' so of course you can't just stop doing it and of course you were hoping for help. Instead they disfellowshipped you.
John 13:35
" This is how everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
They will say disfellowshipping was an act of love. It was not. You were not caught, you confessed and sought help, and they 'killed' you spiritually (in the JW opinion) for it instead.
I would say one thing, if you think of porn as normal your addiction will probably weaken. One reason you are 'hooked' is probably because you think it is wrong, so wrong the more you try not to think about it, the more you are actually focussing your mind towards it. Once you rebalance your views you will crave it less.
And whatever elder was the most aggressive at your JC, is most probably fighting the same urges in secret :)
"You will be as happy and freeas A turkey in A corn field." I LOVE that image!!!!You are going thru the toughest part now,Lean,ok?On anyone,friends,someof us here in the forum{including me} and ask and talk.Its what will help you,as it has helped many others.It is delightful to hear that you want an education!Perfect! Eh,dont be so hard on yourself,anyone with any real mental reasoning powers eventually ends up getin gthe old 'heave ho' from the dubs.They want dummies.Followers.Folks who quetion nothing,like Jim Jones's vrew,You got out!Wah hoo!!!!You will start to appreciate your decision,Right now tho,you hav eto remove any doubts by talikng to some of us who have been thru it,{yeah it sux],but we are ll here,because we care and want to help.And some of us HAD help from others.Lean,baby,lean,k?Be strong,and Welcome to out group,lucky you!Oh,and watch out for the monkey,he is a little,um,grabby....lol
When I was A elder and young MS came to me, A problem
with masturbation. Fortunately for him I was on my way out.
The young man was in his late 20,s and single. I told him to pray on it
and get married. But he felt it was A big problem causing severe
depression. Guess what, he got married and the problem or the
problem he thought he had went away.
Ok.....here it goes...... I work in the industry so I hope I can help....
Ok.....here it goes...... I work in the industry so I hope I can help....
Before you start questioning your faith, you need to deal with your issue. If you don't you will carry it were ever you go. This is fact.
From what I gather it's more then a simple case of sexual frustration (you mentioned "how many times" and "scat", leads me to believe it's a heavy type of fetish/obsession).
If "anything" becomes an obsession there's an issue, even in the world.
I suggest you speak with a therapist, counsler or go to a program. Again, if it's not a simple case of sexual frustration, it will rule you and will overlap and or interfear with real life intimate relationships when you do have them. A professional can tell you what's normal or not. They deal with all types of situational experience...no worries....
Before you go jumping into another religion, please take some time to get to know yourself. First of all, consider your age, marital status, and type of pornography that you think you're addicted to. You may want to work this out with a therapist. Then consider what type of profession you would like to pursue. If it's not a trade, then get yourself enrolled in college. The reccommended reading list of books by Ray Franz and Steve Hassan is a good one to start. Most of all, just take your time to make good decisions. Now is NOT the time to panic.
The kind of porn you view and whether or not you're addicted to it is ot my business. But if you're like many other young men who have posted here, just watching human beings having vanilla sex drove them mad with guilt. The same goes for masturbation. The Watchtower turns young people against their own bodies. It is normal for people to express their sexuality. If one doesn't do so, then a substitute will always be found. Do some research on masturbation and the type of porn you prefer. Find out if science say it is perverted or unnatural, (ie with animals,children, rape, etc).
hi there weskerbouts im really glad for you that you have made it to this forum. Please dont rush into anything religious. I almost got sucked into the Mormons after being DF but thru luck didnt go.
If you have a religious need i sugest get a good reference bible ( "The Interlinear Bible" etc or free like E-Sword online) and start reading the NT and i promise freind without interjecting WTS doctrine you will be amazed and come to know that we have overlooked Jesus as JW.
listen to the good advice you will hear on the forum and im sure you will do well.
Azazael
came back to ps.....JamieB has some great advice.
If you decide to stay in or out......suggestion still applies.....you need to change things up for yourself.....you cannot survive on scripture alone.....balance..
opps.....
....suggestion still applies re occupation and or college.....
I totally agree with everyone that suggests that you give yourself a breather from religion. Just give that part of your life a rest and use the time to expand your interests.
As to your addiction? A sociologist that I knew told me that 85% of all men admit that they masturbate whether they have porn available or not. Then he told me that the other 15% are lying. Unless you are dysfunctional or a castrato, if you are under 70 years old you'll probably look at porn or conjure up visions in your head. It's wired into your brain. If you are busy doing other things, then you can control your urges and reduce your need for visual stimulation.
The HBO TV series "Rome" had sets that showed porn drawn on the walls of buildings all over the city. Most graffiti was porn. Art and statues of gods, goddesses and even heroes were typically naked or show in suggestive poses. When they dug up Pompei a few years ago they discovered pornographic images all over the wall of the public bathhouses and wealthy homes. It was just part of their culture.
The Witness leaders have this mindset that is similar to that of my grandmother's. She and my grandfather were married for nearly 70 years, but she always dressed in a closet out of his view and always wore a beddress when they slept. She proudly announced on several occasions that Granddad had never seen her naked. Of course, she was my grandmother, and the idea of seeing her naked is a stomach-turner for me. But she just felt it was sinful to be naked in front of a man.
My guess is that there are quite a few serial porn viewers even among the Governing Body - it's so easy to get.
So if you really are confused and feel that your particular taste in porn is damaging to your mental health or that it may lead you to commit criminal acts, then go get some professional help from a medically degreed professional - not from a religious charlatan or a preacher that is a so-called expert.
JV
