Hello xtreemlyconfused17,and Welcome . Your are very lucky to be so young ,unbaptised ,and yet so aware . I agree it is frightening when your whole belief system comes into question .
I was raised as a JW ,and then married a Witness ,and raised my three children in the religion . All my life (even as a child ) there were things about being a Witness that did not set well with me . Your circumstances may be different ,but for me growing up in the 1960's-1970's there was extreme FEAR instilled into Witness children . Fear of the END which was always just around the corner . Fear that any childish/teenage mis-step may cost me my eternal life . Fear I just wasn't good enough if I didn't pioneer ,sacrifice enough ect.. Feelings of fear ,guilt and never being good enough out weighed any belief or feeling of having a close loving relationship with a heavenly Father . I walked away from JW life at the age of 44 . It was the scariest ,but best decision I have ever made so far .
Over the years many Witness teaching changed during MY lifetime .When this happened Witnesses chalk it up to mystical 'New Light' ...When in fact all it really is ,and has always been is Man's changing OPINION period . When years go by ,and the governing body (and anyone else ) can see the teaching just no longer makes sense THEY change it ! This is not direction from GOD ,it is simple human recognition that alterations have to be made . Seeing through this facade that the annointed are not something specially directed from God took years of life experience for me to see .
You ask if all the annoited communicate with each other ... . My own Mother was a Witness since 1950 ,her Father was a Witness in the 1930's . She use to believe that the Annoited all reported to the Governing body ,but that is just not true ,it is a JW urban legend . Recent JW literature even speaks some what about how annoited have no special authority in a congregation ,I do not know the direct quotes ,but should be easy enough for you to look up in the cd -rom of articles . When I was young we were taught the number of annoited was sealed by 1935 ,so then the numbers of those partakeing at the memorial should naturally go down ,but if you look up the numbers what do you see ?
It took me a lifetime to finally listen to my inner voice and look for answers . Those answers made sense because I had a lifetime of experience that collaborated what i was reading . Many of the topics you need answers for can be found using keywords under the search feature on this forum .
You repeatedly ask about how or what you will worship ....it is a journey ,there is no rush in answering that question ,and the answer entirely depends on you . You will find what works for one person does not work for another . Allow yourself not to worry so much about it, life is not Black and white like the JW dogma tends to teach .
Before I left I was becoming so aware of how much emphasis was directed away from Jehovah and Jesus ,and directed instead towards the 'Faithful and Discreet slave". It was becoming clear to me I was worshipping an organization not God . It bothered me tremendously to realize when I was baptised in 1979 the questions I answered were a dedication in the name of God ,his Son and the holy spirit , yet by the time my kids got baptised the question had changed to say it is a dedication to the ORGANIZATION of JW's.......this is not in the Bible it is a man made decree to control people because your life is now dedicated to them .
Good luck on your search
