Dealing with elders during my mom's surgery (page 2)

Ding

Don't forget that JWs can have various blood fractions.

Make sure your mother knows that and lets the doctors know that she okays that.

ziddina

Oh, crud...

Noni, I'm so sorry to hear about the elders' interference!!

This sounds so similar to the experience of - uhm, can't remember the name, but the poster who had to actually move her mother out of one hospital because the elders kept showing up, trying to influence her to keep her mother from getting blood if she needed it...

And the poster's still-a-JW sister was drooling over the things that she was going to get out of her mother's home, if the mother passed away???

Anyone help me with this?? It was posted within the last 3 months....

I'd love to post a link, perhaps Noni could gain some support from the earlier thread, but I'm not sure I could find it without searching thru my "topics posted on" for an hour or more...

Thanks!!

Zid

etna

Hope all goes well for you noni. I totally agree with onthewayout, if they so much as look at you the wrong way, get security and boot them out. They have no hold over you. All the best and keep us updated.

Etna

3rdgen

To Noni, I hope all goes smoothly with your moms surgury. You two can be proud of her accomplishment of loosing so much weight on her own.

To Zid, I think you are referring to Aquagirl and her mom.

NewChapter

Hey Noni. I think it will be okay. They have been informed and warned. If things get tough, pop over to the lazer light tree that mimicks seasons and listen to the soothing music. Or stare at the flat round fountain out front that never seems to overflow. I'm still trying to figure that one out. Or hop on the parking lot elevators!!!! Ride them up and down and listen to the new age music. Saunter through the tunnel and watch that weird light show they got going on the walls to make you feel like light is coming in when it's just a tunnel. LOL The Cleveland Clinic is like a freaking playground---or modern art museum! Lot's and lots of weird art that we don't understand.

Or call me and I'll bring back-up!

But I do think it will be fine. Cleveland Clinic has plenty of very pleasant places to chill, and like you said, wifi everywhere. You just sit and work on your stuff and show them that your life is very good without their religion. Take your phone---I'll be there on Friday too! Maybe we can meet for lunch or something. My appt. is in the morn, so that will leave lot's of time afterward. Let me know.

noni1974

That would be fun New Chapter, but I'm not sure you would want to be seen with me because a certian Aunt will most likely be there. You know how she is. If we were spotted eating together you would be reported for sure. I'm game if you are. LOL I will be in building P if the surgery happens.

About the art that is something I should do. Just kind of get lost looking at all the pretty things they have to sooth a person.

nugget

It is a shame that you have this added stress at a time like this. But ultimately your mother wants you to be there and that is the bottom line. If an elder were to suggest that your pressence is unwelcome then I would suggest to him that since your mother's wishes regarding blood have been communicated to the medical personnel then there is little reason for him to hang around, should things change you will arrange for him to be contacted.

Hospitals are not appropriate places for people to bully others whatever pseudo religious title they claim to possess.

TheSilence

When my dad had a surgery that should have killed him and then made it through they sent an elder that he didn't know to visit him... I guess because it was too far (read 45 minutes) from his congregation and it would be too much trouble for the elders in his congregation to drive that far. Anywho, the elder didn't know any of us so aside from my dad he didn't know anyone's status or views. So he introduces himself by shaking my dad's hand, "Hello, I'm John Smith, you can call me John." Then he shakes my brother's hand, "John Smith, you can call me John." Then he shakes my hand, "John Smith, you can call me Brother Smith."

Now, I had a few options. I could think 'what a misogonystic fucking asshole' and then proceed to be pissed and give him a piece of my mind.

Or I could be respectful of my dad's wishes, think 'what a poor deluded idiot, I feel sorry for the fact that he is so insecure that he has to make such a distinction' and just ignore him going forward, which is what I did.

They only have the power to piss you off if you give them that power, Noni. They don't rule your life and they shouldn't rule your emotions. Don't let them push you around but also don't let them press your buttons. You are better than that. Think of how far you have come since your uncle's surgery. Don't give them the satisfaction of dragging you back down. If they act like assholes politely state the facts as they are, "She's my mom, if anyone is uncomfortable being around me they are welcome to leave," and then ignore them as the petty nuisances they are. Don't feed their ego by responding to them any further than that. They aren't even worth your disdain if they are the kind of people who would ask you to leave your mother's side during such a time.

I hope your mom fares well.

Best,

Jackie

aquagirl

Ziddinia,That was me..My sister and her daughter were counting time when they were visiting my mum.I was with my mum the whole time,but whenever the sister and elders came in,they tride to be all "Im taking over now".NO No No.Do not let them..They will try to take any authority that you do not claim.Claim it all! On the off side tho,dont expect ANY help from them when she gets home.But its worth it.Send those dogs home,you can take care of what needs to be done..Pm me if you need any further info,ok?

Dealing with elders during my mom's surgery

sooner7nc