Welcome, and Congrats! on a new baby girl.
Crisis of Conscience (by Ray Franz) has been recommended. YOU should read it, but suggesting it to (no name? Virge will do) if he is not ready to read "apostate" material will mark you are a tool of the Devil. Mentioning that you read THIS website (and other "anti-JW" apostate sites) will do the same.
You aren't clear about what you'd like to do with this relationship. Clearly, you still seem "struck" and now you have his daughter, on top of it all, so he will likely be part of your life (at least every-other-weekend) for 18-20 years. It would be best that you understand the "rules" of the JWs, and their emotionally F--ed up way of thinking so you can move on WITH this or FROM this making decisions from the knowledge and wisdom you can gain, vs. being constantly blindsided by their quirks and lop-sided logic.
First thing, (it appears you and Virge have not married.....) thus, he will be encouraged to drop any romantic interest in you. He will be forced to break off everything from you (except legal visitation rights -- and by the way, you should have already gotten busy on getting court ordered child support) if he desires to get reinstated, which does seem to be his goal at this time. The elders who meet with Virge will point to YOU as the "bad association" that led him into this "gross sinning" against God. They will read to him the story of Jacob's daughter, Dinah (Genesis 33 & 34) and the scripture saying "flee from fornication". (That's YOU.)
If Virge gets reinstated, he will face more-or-less the same pressure to avoid you (and only visit his daughter) based on the fact that "dating" an unbeliever is an offense that will result in the member of the Cong being "marked", as they are allowed to "marry only in the Lord". If he still has heart-strings for you, he will hope to draw you to the Kingdom Hall and get you converted so he can marry according to this rule. Even during the period of your studying and conversion, he will be advised to avoid you.
He could rebel and run out and marry you right now while he's disfellowshipped and plead that he thought he was "doing the right thing", beg for forgiveness from the elders for doing so, and hope to get reinstated with him already married to you. It will take a little longer since he "relapsed" back into the relationship with the Worldly Woman during his period of requesting reinstatement. But, they CANNOT suggest he divorce you at any point, unless you are unfaithful.
If you marry, it seems doubtful that you will ever become a JW, thus you will have this schism in your relationship forever. . . . unless YOU get HIM OUT. I have no in depth experience in that and you should read and listen to all on here. There are good and bad examples. But, all of them will agree that you CANNOT get a JW out of the "bOrg" by arguing doctrine with them. If you take the position of an "opposer", he will only see you as an "opposer" -- to him and to more so, to GOD. As much as he may love you and your daughter, he will always see the one side of you that is "the tool of Satan" seeking to destroy his faith in God and His religion. As far as your daughter, he will, of course, be hoping to "raise her in The Truth (TM) ". He will consider himself the "head of his household" and expect you to be "in subjection" to him and his decisions. (In real JW life it doesn't usually play out as bad as it sounds. Pussy is a powerful thing and most JW men value it more than being King of their Castle. A smart JW wife might even let them THINK they are.) If you do marry, Virge will likely be a faithful husband and father (you have described him as a good man in every way), but you will likely always have the divisive religion issue like an elephant in the room. I do know of several "divided" households that have drawn successful "rules of engagement" on the issue, and appear to have a "normal" life together otherwise. I know of more unsuccessful ones.
If you do not marry, hopefully you can go on with your life and find happiness. Virge will likely always be there in the background (at least every-other-weekend), with his influence on your daughter (which is his right), and hopefully with his checkbook to help in her support (which is his legal and moral obligation --does he have a decent job?). It will be the roller-coaster that all divorced parents find themselves living in dealing with their EX who is the father of their children. Hey! That's kinda the American way anymore. Remembering who "get this weekend" and the next holiday, etc etc
In either case, YOU will just have to be well-read on understanding and dealing with JW issues and their mind-think. You should be informed that IF he would go to court to attempt to gain custody of your daughter, the WTS publishes information for him to provide the attorney as to how to be successful with this in court. You can find a download of it here, I am sure.
In either case, read the Hassan books that have been recommended so that you can prepare yourself on dealing with how this man (and his entire group of associates) thinks. Read the Ray Franz books so you have a better understanding, but do not share them with him until he "is ready" to investigate the DARK SIDE. A JW sees these as POISON for their mind to destroy their faith!
Good luck. (Hope you understand the joke in that.)
DOC
