Everyone on this board has always been there for me when I needed help and I appreciate it so much. Now it is my friend that is in trouble. (the same one that I wrote about in most of my other posts particularly the ones about Ray Franz and COC). She has been making steady progress out of the Borg, she even got hooked up to the internet and has done lots of research on her own (calling 1-800 - WHY 1914 and other places, Randy's site, Silent Lambs etc) this research and what she has seen in the congregation has convinced her that the the JW's are wrong about many things. She has 3 young kids and she does not want to see them grow up oppressed an indoctrinated so she has been trying to quietly fade away.
Meanwhile her husband is still studying and he has become more and more convinced it is the truth (his dad died a year ago and he is really searching for some hope of seeing him again). The thing is her Husband doesn't realize what it really means to be a JW (I guess nobody does going in) He agrees that there are problems, but says they are issues with men and they should not be stumbled by these (my friend has tried to tell him that the fact that they are mans teachings is the real problem, but he can't see it).
He is getting angrier and angrier everyday (she hasn't attended any meetings in over a month). The last week has been the worst he has abused her physically and threatened her severely. A little while ago she called me very upset. He had called her from work and told her that she is never to talk to me again since this is all my fault, and he told her to cancel her internet connection, today.
She is so scared, she can't talk to the elders (and wouldn’t want to anyway), all her family are witnesses (and it is a very small family. her mom died when she was a young child). She has always been a stay at home mom and has no education beyond high school. I know she feels so trapped. Nobody from the congregation has been visiting her and she has no friends besides me. He doesn't know where I live, and I have told her that if she ever needs to get away she can come stay with me and I will help her get on her feet. (I don’t want to break up her marriage but she needs to know she has options). But what she really wants is to make her marriage work without having to sacrifice her conscience. She does not want to be a JW, and she wants her kids to have a normal life (guilt free celebrations, sports, college, and friends).
Then as if that were not bad enough she allowed her kids to celebrate Valentines this year. She bought them cards and let them stay at the party. Well her kids are the only JW's at the school but there is a woman who works there that is a JW. Friday when my friend went to help in her daughters class that lady told her that she had spoken to an elder N about valentines day and he had agreed that celebrating it was wrong. My friend is worried that this was a non subtle way of saying she had tattled on her (the lady is probably covering her bases in case the elders ask her if she has approached my friend about the situation). So know she is worried that the elders are going to pay her a visit and that her husband might spill his guts (he promised her he wouldn't but as I said he has become increasingly agitated). She is trying to bide her time and I am going to send her the other a copy of "The Stars" thread where many of you suggested ways of doing this.
I know this is a long post but what I am asking is for you to please type her an encouraging post to let her know that she is not alone. That we have also shared pain similar to hers and that she will be O.K. She just needs to know that there are supportive people out there and that she is not insane. I will print out the posts and send them to her PO box. Also if you have encouraging site pages I can save them on a disc for her and mail those too. Even If you don't have a lot of time to type something up ,give me the link to an old post (maybe an experience that you posted or read) that you think might help and I will put a packet together for her. Thank You all sooo much.