please help my friend know she is not alone.

by hungry4life 25 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  belbab

  Dear Hungry for Life,

  Many suggestions have already been given here, My thoughts are do the simplest, the least disturbing thing, the one that shows the most love to all, and takes the least amount of effort.

  Down through the centuries whenever a man abuses a women, others stand up and protect her. All that is needed is that the husband. the elders and perhaps the Society itself needs their chains rattled a little. Just let them know that they are being watched, let them know that any harassment, abuse, verbal or physical is being monitored and recorded. I would love for you to post the name of the congregation here, but that may not be possible, but all you have to do is find someone in the congregation, probably just some insignificant sister and let her know what is going on. The grape vine will do the rest.

  When some is marked in the congregation, no announcement is made, it just spreads from mouth to mouth, in secret. What I am suggesting here is just reverse the process.

  My thoughts are with you and your friend, and there are more with us than with them.

  belbab
• 

  josephus

  pleases forward this to you freind.

  i was a witness all my life. i am 27 now and am free of it. i have helped 6 people leave with me, and am very happy about it.

  "the truth" should be about finding truth in our lives, not in accepting every false beleif taught to us.

  i would rather die than give up REAL TRUTH please dont allow any pressure to defeat your search.

  call me on [email protected] at any time to discuss this, in the meantime you have my deepest respect for doing the hard things in life.

  sinmcerely

  josephus
• 

  termite 35

  Dear Hungry 4 lifes' friend,
  I cannot believe what you are going through; it must take so much strength of character and downright bravery to stay in there.I hope that your situation has a soloution that is bearable to you. There was a very good suggestion here to subtly spread the info about your husbands' behaviour;but perhaps not until you're out of the house?If word did get around would the elders be supportive?If not, then staying will make you even more alienated, don'tyou think? I wish you love and lots of luck in getting your life good again;please don't put yourself in harms way for too much longer,ive been there; it'll get worse over time ,and as i'm sure you know; attempts to rationalise will only escalate the violence. X THE CONG MAY NOT BELIEVE YOU, BUT THE POLICE WILL.
• 

  Prisca

  Dear h4l's friend,

  I want you to know that I know what it's like to have grown up in the truth, and have one's family all (or nearly all) JWs too. It is hard to get over the mind control they have indoctrinated in you, but it can be done. I did it, and so can you.

  I also know what it's like to lose your mum at a young age. I was 11 when my mother died of cancer. It leaves a void in your life that nothing can ever fill. Yet, you have the privlege of raising your own kids now, and seeing them grow up, something your mum didn't.

  I understand your wanting to not raise your kids as JWs, and I'm sorry that you are having these hassles with your husband. Only you know the extent of his anger and frustrations, and you will have to make decisions that are for the best for yourself and your children.

  I just want you to know that you are not alone, and be strong, and do what you think is for the best. You are lucky to have a friend such as hungry4life, and please trust her, as from what I have learnt of her character on this discussion board, she is a wonderful person.

  HANG IN THERE!!
• 

  Carmel

  Cut to the chase. Your friend has an OBLIGATION to protect her children from a potentially lethal abuser! It'll only get worse. If her bozo husband is any kind of a man, he wouldn't be afraid of having a wife with different beliefs and interests. Obviously, he's not going to get the idea if she stays and surrenders to his macho egotistical needs.

  sounds harse but I see no value in playing the JW game.

  carmel
• 

  BoozeRunner

  Dear Hungry.....The abuse part jumped out at me first and foremost!!! If for whatever reason your friend cant leave at this time, at least set up an e-mail account that she can write to and journal each and every instance of abuse( physical or emotional). YOU or a trusted friend should keep the password. (be sure to visit the mailbox occasionally to keep it current) In this way, when legalities come into play, there is a record to present to a court. I saw something about her hubby cancelling the net account, but if she really wants OUT, she will find a way.
  Even if she writes letters and mails them through the post office when hubby is at work, that will suffice too.

  Boozy